Adoption to gay men

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UbiCaritas said:
Insofar as her legal right to abort, carry, raise, or adopt a child, she’s an adult.
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No, she’s not.

She is a minor with the rights of a minor. Let’s be very clear here. Several states require parental involvement of minor parents in adoptions, and several others impose other restrictions such as mandated retention of legal counsel. We have no idea what her rights are, so your blanket statement is false even if we’re not being technical about definitions. But if we are technical, then even in the states where it is codified that minors are free of restrictions, they are granted such explicitly, as minors.

The same goes for prenatal care, abortion, etc. Her rights depend on her state’s laws, and what they have to say about unemancipated minors.
 
Havard said:
No, she’s not.

She is a minor with the rights of a minor. Let’s be very clear here. Several states require parental involvement of minor parents in adoptions, and several others impose other restrictions such as mandated retention of legal counsel. We have no idea what her rights are, so your blanket statement is false even if we’re not being technical about definitions. But if we are technical, then even in the states where it is codified that minors are free of restrictions, they are granted such explicitly, as minors.

The same goes for prenatal care, abortion, etc. Her rights depend on her state’s laws, and what they have to say about unemancipated minors.
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May be true in theory, but I don’t think it is in practice. Even in states that have parental consent laws for abortion on a minor, they allow exceptions for the minor to get permission from a judge. And it seems that they usually tend to get it.

I do think the OP may want to consult an attorney in this case.
 
masondoggy said:
May be true in theory, but I don’t think it is in practice. Even in states that have parental consent laws for abortion on a minor, they allow exceptions for the minor to get permission from a judge. And it seems that they usually tend to get it.

I do think the OP may want to consult an attorney in this case.
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I don’t think you’re understanding my response to UbiCaritas. I’m not talking about theory. I’m talking about reality. If this were ever adjudicated, whatever would happen would be determined by what the law in her jurisdiction has to say about the rights of minors.

Your mentioning special permission (often called judicial bypass) only proves my point. Adults don’t have to go through any of this, because they adults, not minors.
 
Loly_Maria said:
In my opinion, this decision has to be left completely up to your daughter and her partner. It’s their baby, and they need to be free to choose who they think would be the best parents, without being pressured into choosing someone that they are not 100% comfortable with.
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Do not tell me that you would not say a thing no matter what moral situation your child was considering for your grandchild, a situation that your grandchild was unquestionably going to be taught was normative and worthy of imitation. I find that hard to believe. Saying they want to choose parents from among people they knew before the pregnancy is one thing. Saying they are determined to place their child with someone whose morals are unequivocally and publicly opposed to the teachings of the Church is something else again. The mother-to-be, after all, is still minor. The OP has the duty to give her correct guidance on moral issues.
 
there is nothing wrong with being raised by a gay couple. a lot of them raise children and they do just fine. we’re getting rid of the old gender stereotypes that you can only have a mom and dad to be successful. many studies have shown otherwise.
 
HDLSeanWileyTin said:
there is nothing wrong with being raised by a gay couple. a lot of them raise children and they do just fine. we’re getting rid of the old gender stereotypes that you can only have a mom and dad to be successful. many studies have shown otherwise.
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There is nothing wrong with having an inclination towards homosexuality, save the burden of having disordered desires. To live in the pretense that homosexual acts are not only morally permissible but the equivalent of the sexual relations that strictly belong to the goods of a marriage between a man and a woman, however, is a lie and a moral scandal. It teaches falsehood. So no, children raised to think that the truth is just the opposite do not “do just fine.”
 
actually, it’s not harmful. perhaps maybe it’s time for YOU to change instead of trying to change these people. maybe it’s time YOU stopped judging people like that.
 
thankfully, people like you are becoming a minority. change is on it’s way!
 
“As experience has shown, the absence of sexual complementarity in these unions creates obstacles in the normal development of children who would be placed in the care of such persons. They would be deprived of the experience of either fatherhood or motherhood. Allowing children to be adopted by persons living in such unions would actually mean doing violence to these children, in the sense that their condition of dependency would be used to place them in an environment that is not conducive to their full human development. This is gravely immoral and in open contradiction to the principle, recognized also in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, that the best interests of the child, as the weaker and more vulnerable party, are to be the paramount consideration in every case.”

Source: vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_20030731_homosexual-unions_en.html

Ed
 
you would argue that prostitution is a threat to society, yet Thomas Aquinas was for legalizing it. he said that human laws sometimes don’t necessarily HAVE to match god’s law.
 
the church often overrides scientific evidence that doesn’t suit it’s view of the world, so it’s not really that reliable.
 
that opinion that children don’t do well with gay couples is as dated as it was founded. when it was founded, times were really really different back then, culture was different, and i would think it’s ridiculous to keep some of these things because they simply don’t make sense anymore.
 
HDLSeanWileyTin said:
thankfully, people like you are becoming a minority. change is on it’s way!
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O Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to you. Avoid profane babbling and the absurdities of so-called knowledge. By professing it, some people have deviated from the faith. Grace be with all of you. 1 Tim 6:20-21

I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingly power: proclaim the word; be persistent whether it is convenient or inconvenient; convince, reprimand, encourage through all patience and teaching. For the time will come when people will not tolerate sound doctrine but, following their own desires and insatiable curiosity, will accumulate teachers and will stop listening to the truth and will be diverted to myths. 2 Tim 4:1-4

*But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach (to you) a gospel other than the one that we preached to you, let that one be accursed! As we have said before, and now I say again, if anyone preaches to you a gospel other than the one that you received, let that one be accursed! *Gal 1:8-9
HDLSeanWileyTin said:
have a good read on why more and more catholics are supporting gay marriage. don’t trust your human bishops: ncronline.org/blogs/grace-margins/why-do-so-many-catholics-support-marriage-equality-blame-catholic-imagination
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Be a Catholic and accept the teachings of the bishops, or else do not. If you honestly believe that the bishops have no authority to teach, then by what stretch of conscience do you stay in a church that you believe is based on utter falsehood? You cannot have your cake and eat it, too! Either say “yea” or “nay”–that is “I am Roman Catholic” or “I have broken with Rome and believe her bishops are utterly without authority”–and quit passing around the fairy tale that there is some way to remain in the Church by tearing it down from the inside out. What foolishness has possessed you, that you imagine you ought to stay under the roof of a building at the same time as you are shoving with all your might to topple its pillars?

If Rome has no authority greater than yours, there is no Holy Roman Catholic Church.
HDLSeanWileyTin said:
that opinion that children don’t do well with gay couples is as dated as it was founded. when it was founded, times were really really different back then, culture was different, and i would think it’s ridiculous to keep some of these things because they simply don’t make sense anymore.
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Never has Christian thought and teaching done anything but warn the faithful away from the lure of culturally popular departures from the faith. Cultures will come and go and the “wisdom” of humans will only find ways to normalize falsehood. Christians are not to conform themselves to their times, but to Christ alone, whose ways do not change with the winds of human opinions, customs, and fashions. I do not know what message in the New Testament could possibly be more plain than that one.
 
sarah_beth said:
I’m not quite sure where to start but here I go. My husband and I are Catholic and we have raised our children in the faith. We attend mass regularly, they go to Catholic schools and overall our faith is a large part of our life. I thought I was doing everything right until I found out my oldest daughter was pregnant. She is 17 now. Her boyfriend and his parents are Catholic as well. Obviously an abortion was out of the question. Collectively the boys parents, my husband and I discussed adoption and that seemed to be the resolution. We found a wonderful agency and a wonderful Catholic couple was picked. Now my daughter has decided against her original plan. She still wants the baby to be adopted but insists she doesn’t want ‘strangers’ raising the child. (She has communicated with the couple for months and met with them a handful of times. They adoption would even be open with pictures and updates). Now her and her boyfriend have announced they want his uncles to adopt the baby. That’s right, uncles! His homosexual uncle and his ‘husband’. My daughter knows homosexuality is a sin. I’ve tried to talk to her about the difficulties this child will face until I’m blue. We’ve prayed, we’ve had her speak to a Catholic counselor. She is rebelling hard. I am heartbroken for the innocent baby. I am heartbroken for this couple who were promised this baby. I’ve even mentioned the alternative of her keeping the baby and her father and I helping her until she gets settled into a career. She insists on the adoption with these gay men. I’m beyond frustrated. I need advice, I need help and I need prayers!
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Be sure she reads up on the lives of children reared by homosexuals.
 
I was thinking about this last night after reading all the responses and something occurred to me (not an original idea BTW). Your daughter may, like some say, want to keep the child close and thinks in allowing the uncles to adopt the baby that’ll be the case. I’d advise against it though and it’s not because they’re gay. I think I’d advise it against it, a connection so close to the boyfriend even if it was a heterosexual couple. High school relationships often don’t last, not to say they can’t but it’s not the norm. What she thinks now is a good idea may not be the best idea in later years. It’s hard to get that idea across though since as teens we all thought we knew it all and knew what was best. If I were her I’d wait until she gives birth to make any final decision.
 
Coco82 said:
I was thinking about this last night after reading all the responses and something occurred to me (not an original idea BTW). Your daughter may, like some say, want to keep the child close and thinks in allowing the uncles to adopt the baby that’ll be the case. I’d advise against it though and it’s not because they’re gay. I think I’d advise it against it, a connection so close to the boyfriend even if it was a heterosexual couple. High school relationships often don’t last, not to say they can’t but it’s not the norm. What she thinks now is a good idea may not be the best idea in later years. It’s hard to get that idea across though since as teens we all thought we knew it all and knew what was best. If I were her I’d wait until she gives birth to make any final decision.
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This is very true. I wonder if these men are giving her the impression that she can still be included in the babies life in an open adoption. May be worth pointing out to her that legally speaking they can change their minds about that at any time and completely cut her out of the child’s life and there is nothing she could do about it

As opposed to her own parents offering to legally adopt the baby giving her the freedom she wants to grow up without the responsibility of parenting but she will still be in her baby’s life and she doesn’t have to worry about her parents cutting her out of the picture. Then baby gets a mother and a father along with a very special “big sister”, she doesn’t have to suffer the agony of relinquishing her baby and she gets to finish her childhood out. EVERYBODY wins.
If it were me, I would offer these points to her as something to think about and offer to adopt the baby AFTER apologizing for not including her in that conversation (if that’s what happened)
 
I apologize for not responding sooner. I would also like to apologize for my wording. My daughter and her boyfriend were in fact a large part of the conversation. We just felt this issue involved so many, my daughter, her boyfriend, both of our families and most importantly the baby. We wanted all involved to be a part of the solution. I did find the adoption agency and we all participated in choosing potential adoptive parents but ultimately DD and her boyfriend chose the couple.

To address some responses, my husband and I have suggested adopting the baby ourselves but our daughter is staunchly against this. She claims it would be “weird” to have the baby so close and essentially be her little sister. My niece, her cousin, has also mentioned an interest in adopting the baby but my daughter refuses since she has her own biological children. :confused:

I have showed her literature about the problems of being raised by homosexuals, both religious and some pieces written directly from individuals who were raised by gay people. She just gets angry and refuses to talk about it. I’m afraid the liberal culture has convinced her that it is okay. And since the baby is a boy she isn’t overly concerned about the importance of a mother.

I am in the process of seeking legal help but honestly my best hope is through prayer I believe. From everything I’ve come across my hands are tied as she and her boyfriend are legally free to choose. I am absolutely sick over all of this. I’m fearful of what lies ahead for this baby and there isn’t much time left.
 
sarah_beth said:
I apologize for not responding sooner. I would also like to apologize for my wording. My daughter and her boyfriend were in fact a large part of the conversation. We just felt this issue involved so many, my daughter, her boyfriend, both of our families and most importantly the baby. We wanted all involved to be a part of the solution. I did find the adoption agency and we all participated in choosing potential adoptive parents but ultimately DD and her boyfriend chose the couple.

To address some responses, my husband and I have suggested adopting the baby ourselves but our daughter is staunchly against this. She claims it would be “weird” to have the baby so close and essentially be her little sister. My niece, her cousin, has also mentioned an interest in adopting the baby but my daughter refuses since she has her own biological children. :confused:

I have showed her literature about the problems of being raised by homosexuals, both religious and some pieces written directly from individuals who were raised by gay people. She just gets angry and refuses to talk about it. I’m afraid the liberal culture has convinced her that it is okay. And since the baby is a boy she isn’t overly concerned about the importance of a mother.

I am in the process of seeking legal help but honestly my best hope is through prayer I believe. From everything I’ve come across my hands are tied as she and her boyfriend are legally free to choose. I am absolutely sick over all of this. I’m fearful of what lies ahead for this baby and there isn’t much time left.
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Pray, pray, pray, especially to St. Joseph, he who is the Glory of home life and Pillar of families.
 
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