Adult confirmation (former protestant) questions

[DarkLight]

So I had several questions:

(1) Everything I’ve seen has said you’re supposed to produce a baptismal certificate if you were baptized in a different denomination and want to become catholic. Does this still apply to people who were baptized when older? I ask because I grew up in a baptist church and was baptized as a teen - I don’t think we even have or keep certificates. But I definitely remember my baptism!

(2) How important is it that a confirmation sponsor live in the area? I’m in a field where by nature I don’t stay in one area for very long - it’s likely when I start taking classes that I’ll be in a totally different state than where I am now! But this means I often don’t have strong connections to people in the area. There’s a particular person that has been heavily involved all along, but that is in a different state. I’m sure arrangements could be made to bring him over for the ceremony itself, but attending classes would be out.

 

[1ke]

So I had several questions:

(1) Everything I’ve seen has said you’re supposed to produce a baptismal certificate if you were baptized in a different denomination and want to become catholic. Does this still apply to people who were baptized when older? I ask because I grew up in a baptist church and was baptized as a teen - I don’t think we even have or keep certificates. But I definitely remember my baptism!

a) If the ecclesial community or Church you are coming from keeps baptismal records and issues baptismal certificates, then the Catholic parish receiving you should obatin a copy of the certificate.

b) If the ecclesial community does not keep records and/or issue certificates, or records have been otherwise lost or destroyed, then you may complete an affidavit of baptism. Infant baptism requires a witness to complete the affidavit. Those old enough to remember their baptism may complete the affidavit themselves.

(2) How important is it that a confirmation sponsor live in the area? I’m in a field where by nature I don’t stay in one area for very long - it’s likely when I start taking classes that I’ll be in a totally different state than where I am now! But this means I often don’t have strong connections to people in the area. There’s a particular person that has been heavily involved all along, but that is in a different state. I’m sure arrangements could be made to bring him over for the ceremony itself, but attending classes would be out.

Your sponsor does not have to live near you. A person can stand in as proxy during the Confirmation. The sponsor need not attend classes with you, either.

 

[DarkLight]

Thanks! A follow-up question, this time about first confession:

What is the procedure with things that you aren’t sure are sins, e.g. something you did under threat, or actions taken as a child under orders from a parent? Because of certain issues in my own background this is a particularly significant and painful issue, and I am extremely nervous because of many less than understanding reactions I’ve had from religious people. It took me years to acknowledge that I wasn’t at fault for being in the situation (which I had no way of knowing about beforehand), and I don’t want to lose that.

 

[1ke]

Thanks! A follow-up question, this time about first confession:

What is the procedure with things that you aren’t sure are sins, e.g. something you did under threat, or actions taken as a child under orders from a parent? Because of certain issues in my own background this is a particularly significant and painful issue, and I am extremely nervous because of many less than understanding reactions I’ve had from religious people. It took me years to acknowledge that I wasn’t at fault for being in the situation (which I had no way of knowing about beforehand), and I don’t want to lose that.

This is a question for your priest.

In general, actions that are coerced or that you did not know were sinful would not be sins. Mortal sin requires grave matter, full knowledge, and free will.

 

[DarkLight]

This is a question for your priest.

In general, actions that are coerced or that you did not know were sinful would not be sins. Mortal sin requires grave matter, full knowledge, and free will.

Thanks…yeah I know that’s the kind of question you’d ask a priest, but I really don’t feel comfortable talking to a priest face-to-face about it. Not just awkward, but panic attack and sweating level. There’s just so much ignorance out there, even among the clergy…I basically lost my old (protestant) church because they figured I must have provoked it somehow…I’ve seen many the same attitudes in the catholic church, I just want to bury this for a while.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

Thanks…yeah I know that’s the kind of question you’d ask a priest, but I really don’t feel comfortable talking to a priest face-to-face about it. Not just awkward, but panic attack and sweating level. There’s just so much ignorance out there, even among the clergy…I basically lost my old (protestant) church because they figured I must have provoked it somehow…I’ve seen many the same attitudes in the catholic church, I just want to bury this for a while.

When you find the right priest…it can actually be a blessing! I have been in your shoes…and felt unworthy and somewhat damaged goods… I was lucky to find a very compassionate priest. Stuff I was unsure about…I took in there anyway…and even asked questions in there. It took several times because stuff has a way of working up like rocks in the garden… Reconciliation is not for condemnation…but for healing. When you bring it up in reconciliation…it’s done…and you don’t need to talk about it outside of there.

The enemy however wants it kept in the dark and wants you to feel guilt. Don’t let it! My prayers are with. I have been there too…

 

[asd72]

Thanks! A follow-up question, this time about first confession:

What is the procedure with things that you aren’t sure are sins, e.g. something you did under threat, or actions taken as a child under orders from a parent? Because of certain issues in my own background this is a particularly significant and painful issue, and I am extremely nervous because of many less than understanding reactions I’ve had from religious people. It took me years to acknowledge that I wasn’t at fault for being in the situation (which I had no way of knowing about beforehand), and I don’t want to lose that.

Things you did under threat as a child which you are considering sins are likely to be the sins of the adult. You have acknowledged now you were a victim, don’t go blaming yourself again!

I am facing my first confession soon too. My strategy is to use a good examination of conscience and try to examine my life honestly and to be informed on Catholic morality. it is never going to be perfect on our part but unless we are knowingly deceptive during the sacrament God’s forgiveness cleanses us totally.

 

[TrueLight]

So I had several questions:

(1) Everything I’ve seen has said you’re supposed to produce a baptismal certificate if you were baptized in a different denomination and want to become catholic. Does this still apply to people who were baptized when older? I ask because I grew up in a baptist church and was baptized as a teen - I don’t think we even have or keep certificates. But I definitely remember my baptism!

I grew up in a Baptist church too and had the same issue. I was baptized as a teen but couldn’t remember the exact date. I was able to get the Pastor’s daughter to have him look for my exact baptism date, without telling him why (he had it written down somewhere). If he knew why, I’m sure he would be very uncooperative, to put it mildly.

I used as a template this Affidavit of Baptism that I found, just to make it official, I had my sister sign as witness and notarized it.

 

[DarkLight]

Things you did under threat as a child which you are considering sins are likely to be the sins of the adult. You have acknowledged now you were a victim, don’t go blaming yourself again!

I am facing my first confession soon too. My strategy is to use a good examination of conscience and try to examine my life honestly and to be informed on Catholic morality. it is never going to be perfect on our part but unless we are knowingly deceptive during the sacrament God’s forgiveness cleanses us totally.

Those were actually two separate conditions…my main worry is that I was in an abusive relationship in college, and did several things under the the influence of my partner that I wouldn’t have normally done. It’s so hard to explain or understand, especially when you’re in a situation where there isn’t an immediate threat but you just know how he can be…in retrospect I often took an attitude of “well if I just go along and act like I’m willing then it won’t come up later.” There was a lot of just plain noncomprehension on my part too…I had no idea that domestic violence even happened at the time, aside from the occasional lurid story about guys that came home drunk and sent their wives to the hospital.

I grew up in a Baptist church too and had the same issue. I was baptized as a teen but couldn’t remember the exact date. I was able to get the Pastor’s daughter to have him look for my exact baptism date, without telling him why (he had it written down somewhere). If he knew why, I’m sure he would be very uncooperative, to put it mildly.

I used as a template this Affidavit of Baptism that I found, just to make it official, I had my sister sign as witness and notarized it.

I’m not sure my church keeps such records. Also unfortunately they are aware that I have left their church, so any request from me is likely to be met with hostility - anyone with that kind of background knows how they are towards catholicism! Do you need the specific date, or just that it happened?

 

[felsguy]

The beauty of this sacrament is that it isn’t meant to be psychoanalysis. We are not expected to delve into every possible circumstance, nuance, or motivation of our actions.
In addition to calling to mind and simply stating our serious offenses of God we need only to express our sorrow and intention to avoid these in the future to receive His all-encompassing forgiveness through the ministry of the priest. And if we are in doubt about about something potentially serious from the past, we mention it and leave it the hands of God.

My prayers are with you as you take these next steps in this wonderful journey of faith.