Adulterous Marriage?

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Escopiliatese

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My mother, about two years ago, divorced my father because she claimed that she lost the love for him that she felt when they initially married. She also claimed that she had been praying to God for him to help her marriage, but that apparently he never did. Thus, for about two years, my parents have been divorced. Soon after, my mother met a man on an online dating site, and now after about a year (most likely less than a year) they are living together, and they share a bed. I share each week with both my father and my mother, which means I live with this man. Now they are getting married, and they’ve begun planning this marriage. At first I was hesitant to take part in such an adulterous and sinful act, but then I said “yes” to both being a groomsman and playing music for the wedding and reception. Now today, I confronted my mother and downright refused. She is now very sad and angry at me, but I have made it clear that she has been sinning, and that she is putting herself and her family at great personal risk by partaking in this sin. Did I make the right choice? I also don’t want to invite demonic spirits into my life as a result of taking part in such an event, which I know I will if I do.

Might I also add that I’ve begun to suspect that they’ve had sexual intercourse together, but I have no courage to ask my mother.

This is a very brief explanation, and only one of my many spiritual problems going on right now, so please bear with me.

Thank you.
 
Sounds like a very difficult situation. If you are living at both parents’ homes during the week I assume you are a student or a minor, right? If that is the case, you need to show the respect due to your parents. It is not your place to point out their sin. Their sex life is particularly none of your business and best left alone.

HOWEVER, being asked to participate in a wedding when your parents are only recently divorced is a bit much as is living with a man who is not a relative. If possible, go back to your mother, in love and tell her that she raised you to be a Catholic and now as a grown (almost grown) adult, she has succeeded in that goal and you are indeed a faithful Catholic. As such, you cannot in anyway participate in this second marriage of hers unless her marriage to your father is annulled. On top of that, your parents’ divorce is still relatively recent and you are in the grieving process of having lost your family of origin, so your heart just isn’t in celebrating this new marriage. Apologize for having seemingly “changed” your mind about participating in the wedding but it simply took a while for you to sort out your thoughts about the situation.

As for opening yourself to demonic influences…well, I think your time is better spent worrying about your own path to holiness than avoiding demons.
 
Escopiliatese said:
I also don’t want to invite demonic spirits into my life as a result of taking part in such an event, which I know I will if I do.
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Participating in this wedding won’t “invite demonic spirits in your life.”
 
That really stinks. This type of attitude towards marriage and our children really irks me. Like the purpose of marriage is your personal happiness and your kids are simply along for the ride. I am truly sorry this happened. No child or teen should have to struggle with problems like that.

Perhaps you should spend more time with your father than with your mother.
 
I feel sorry for you in your situation. However, right or wrong, confronting your Mother in that way hurt her in a way that may very well be irrepairable.
I would suggest that you consult a priest and discuss the matter with him, in the Confessional if necessary.
I do not know how old you are, but it sounds like you are still under 21 and still under your parents care. I suggest for the near future, that you stay with your Father if at all possible.
 
So sorry that you are going through this. I think you made the right choice, and handled the situation very well.

One of the spiritual works of mercy is to admonish the sinner. She needs to know that what she is doing is sinful, and sin does invite demonic influence.

I’d also suggest spending more time with your father than your mother.
 
Yes, as Christians it is our duty to help those who are in serious sin through fraternal correction. We must always do it with the greatest of love and charity.

Make sure that your mother understands that you love her, and that you care about her soul.

You did the right thing, but that doesn’t mean it was easy or that it won’t strain your mother’s relationshiip with you for a while. You’ve made your objecctions known and you’ve reminded her that she is a married woman, not free to date or marry another.

Your mother may go ahead with her plans, and you will need to respect her in her home and be polite and kind to both her and her new “husband”.
 
Are your parents Catholic? Did either apply for and receive a Decree of Nullity after the divorce?

I don’t think you were wrong, but I hope you talked to your mother about the situation with respect and out of genuine love and concern.
 
How is it placing her family at great personal risk?

“Only the one who sins shall die. The son shall not be charged with the guilt of his father, nor shall the father be charged with the guilt of his son. Justice belongs to the just, and wickedness to the wicked.”
 
on_the_hill said:
How is it placing her family at great personal risk?

“Only the one who sins shall die. The son shall not be charged with the guilt of his father, nor shall the father be charged with the guilt of his son. Justice belongs to the just, and wickedness to the wicked.”
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She has participated in mortal sin, and (due to other reasons), the occult. She has invited demonic spirits into her life, which brings demonic spirits into the lives of all who live with her.
 
Escopiliatese said:
Anything that goes against God or the Bible always opens a door for demonic spirits to enter into my life.
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You mean like paranormal stuff? Demonic possessions and such?

That’s going a bit too far, IMHO. I’d be more concerned with the situation at hand than be afraid that evil spirits will enter you home or something.
 
1ke said:
Yes, as Christians it is our duty to help those who are in serious sin through fraternal correction. We must always do it with the greatest of love and charity.

Make sure that your mother understands that you love her, and that you care about her soul.

You did the right thing, but that doesn’t mean it was easy or that it won’t strain your mother’s relationshiip with you for a while. You’ve made your objecctions known and you’ve reminded her that she is a married woman, not free to date or marry another.

Your mother may go ahead with her plans, and you will need to respect her in her home and be polite and kind to both her and her new “husband”.
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I’m genuinely curious. Even though we are Christian and called to admonish the sinner, is it still the responsibility of a minor to point out the sins of her/his parents? Is it even appropriate?
 
Debora123 said:
You mean like paranormal stuff? Demonic possessions and such?

That’s going a bit too far, IMHO. I’d be more concerned with the situation at hand than be afraid that evil spirits will enter you home or something.
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That would be a big mistake. I know about these demonic spirits from experience, with all due respect.
 
Escopiliatese said:
That would be a big mistake. I know about these demonic spirits from experience, with all due respect.
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Don’t demonic possessions usually happen to fairly average folks? Sometimes perhaps even to the most innocent of people?

I just really don’t think your mom’s relationship with that man would be the sort of thing that would trigger a demonic attack. But if you’re worried about that I would suggest talking to a priest.
 
Debora123 said:
Don’t demonic possessions usually happen to fairly average folks? Sometimes perhaps even to the most innocent of people?

I just really don’t think your mom’s relationship with that man would be the sort of thing that would trigger a demonic attack. But if you’re worried about that I would suggest talking to a priest.
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I think you are having trouble accepting the idea of demonic attack, but it has already happened with the poster, according to his post below from another thread.
Escopiliatese said:
If what you mean is demonic harassment, I believe that I and many others have suffered.

I have dabbled in the occult without knowing it many times in my youth including make a magical “wand” and assigning power to it, partaking in divination, etc. I believe that I’m now suffering the consequences.

My hardest time is at night, when it is dark outside. I get paranoid and frightened; I know evil is around me, and I can feel it. I believe that I cleansed myself of all occult practices, however I’m not yet demon-free. I continue to make it with the help of my Father and Lord.

I am currently seeking help, and may be meeting with a priest.
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1ke said:
Yes, as Christians it is our duty to help those who are in serious sin through fraternal correction. We must always do it with the greatest of love and charity.

Make sure that your mother understands that you love her, and that you care about her soul.

You did the right thing, but that doesn’t mean it was easy or that it won’t strain your mother’s relationshiip with you for a while. You’ve made your objecctions known and you’ve reminded her that she is a married woman, not free to date or marry another.

Your mother may go ahead with her plans, and you will need to respect her in her home and be polite and kind to both her and her new “husband”.
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This is good advice.
 
SwizzleStick said:
I think you are having trouble accepting the idea of demonic attack, but it has already happened with the poster, according to his post below from another thread.
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The original post didn’t mention occult practices; rather it described his mother’s relationship and upcoming wedding. I’m not disputing the potential for demonic occurrences in general but the question remains as to why a wedding (presumably not occult) would invite demonic attacks.
 
SwizzleStick said:
I think you are having trouble accepting the idea of demonic attack, but it has already happened with the poster, according to his post below from another thread.
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Lol I have 0 problem accepting the idea of a demonic attack. I know they happen, and believe in them. It’s just that from my understanding of the issue, it isn’t necessarily a sin that brings them on. And I just don’t think it seems healthy for the OP to be worried about a demonic attack because of his mother’s relationship. I just don’t think that’s the type of thing that brings them on.
 
I think you’re doing the right thing, and I would have done the same in your situation. It is absolutely an adulterous relationship–the Bible is clear that is you divorce your spouse and marry another, you are really committing adultery. Your non-participation in her wedding may hurt her “feelings”, but it is much more important for you to do the right thing and point out the same to her. If I were to participate in this marriage, I would feel as if I were giving it my approval, or at least that I am fine with it. I of course would never do such a thing.

I assume that your parents are Catholic, in which case your mother should already know that you cannot remarry without having your first marriage annulled (I assume that your parents have not done this). However, if they are not, you should take care in pointing out your objections (but you have already done this, and that is good).
 
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