Adulterous Marriage?

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on_the_hill said:
The original post didn’t mention occult practices; rather it described his mother’s relationship and upcoming wedding. I’m not disputing the potential for demonic occurrences in general but the question remains as to why a wedding (presumably not occult) would invite demonic attacks.
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Precisely. I can totally understand how dabbling in the occult can bring on demonic attacks, but not an adulterous relationship.
 
Debora123 said:
I’m genuinely curious. Even though we are Christian and called to admonish the sinner, is it still the responsibility of a minor to point out the sins of her/his parents? Is it even appropriate?
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I wondered the same thing. I think the OP has more than made his objections and discomfort clear. I wish I had some better advice for the situation but I don’t think overeating and possible causing irreconcilable disrepair to the relationship with mother is the answer. A previous poster posted some good advice about how to “go along to get along” in this situation. Is it possible to spend more time at the fathers home?
 
on_the_hill said:
The original post didn’t mention occult practices; rather it described his mother’s relationship and upcoming wedding. I’m not disputing the potential for demonic occurrences in general but the question remains as to why a wedding (presumably not occult) would invite demonic attacks.
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Agreed, but the poster thinks it is a factor.
 
Debora123 said:
Lol I have 0 problem accepting the idea of a demonic attack. I know they happen, and believe in them. It’s just that from my understanding of the issue, it isn’t necessarily a sin that brings them on. And I just don’t think it seems healthy for the OP to be worried about a demonic attack because of his mother’s relationship. I just don’t think that’s the type of thing that brings them on.
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I’m sorry, but I thought I would add some clarity. You appeared to focus on that one thing with three of your posts. The poster already stated that is going on in his life, so it seemed to me that the focus should be on his relationship with mom and the “marriage” rather than the occult. Again, I’m sorry.
 
on_the_hill said:
The original post didn’t mention occult practices; rather it described his mother’s relationship and upcoming wedding. I’m not disputing the potential for demonic occurrences in general but the question remains as to why a wedding (presumably not occult) would invite demonic attacks.
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Well, it did mention inviting demonic spirits in through sin, but I agree that the main focus of the post is the “marriage.” That is my whole point, to let that aspect go and focus on the main idea. Sorry.
 
SwizzleStick said:
I’m sorry, but I thought I would add some clarity. You appeared to focus on that one thing with three of your posts. The poster already stated that is going on in his life, so it seemed to me that the focus should be on his relationship with mom and the “marriage” rather than the occult. Again, I’m sorry.
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No apologies necessary. 🙂

I disagree that it’s best to ignore his fears that this relationship will bring on demonic attacks. I just don’t think it’s healthy for him to have this irrational fear, so I think it’s important for someone to address it.
 
Escopiliatese said:
Might I also add that I’ve begun to suspect that they’ve had sexual intercourse together, but I have no courage to ask my mother.
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Do NOT ask your mother this. While it is indeed mortal sin, it’s between her, the man, and God, not you. And trust me, I don’t think you really want to discuss your mother’s private life with her, anyway.
 
i applaud your stance in this matter. If you attended the wedding you would be showing support for your mother’s immoral choices.

You are showing that you are more concerned about her eternal soul instead of her feelings. If only the world could follow your example.

James 5:19-20
My friends, if any of you wander away from the truth and another one brings you back again, remember this: whoever turns a sinner back from the wrong way will save that sinner’s soul from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins.
 
Debora123 said:
I’m genuinely curious. Even though we are Christian and called to admonish the sinner, is it still the responsibility of a minor to point out the sins of her/his parents? Is it even appropriate?
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I would say that it is not appropriate for a teen to “admonish” a parent nor snoop or pry. But, when it is presented to them, then I don’t think it’s wrong to say so when something isn’t right.

In this case, the mother dragged the son into it by wanting him to actively participate in an invalid “marriage” as a groomsman and guitarist. Since she did so, I think he had a duty to refuse and remind her why. She has, after all, devastated his family and begun an adulterous relationship in his house.

I would say that, for example, if a parent was being lax about going to Mass it would be fine for the child to say, “aren’t we going to Mass?” and if “no” is the answer, then prompting that it is a serious sin not to go. Then if it’s still “no”, well drop it.

But, if you find your mother’s diaphram hidden in the sock drawer, well, probably not your place to bring up contraception. Now, if Mom has “the talk” and brings it up-- fair game.
 
1ke said:
I would say that it is not appropriate for a teen to “admonish” a parent nor snoop or pry. But, when it is presented to them, then I don’t think it’s wrong to say so when something isn’t right.

In this case, the mother dragged the son into it by wanting him to actively participate in an invalid “marriage” as a groomsman and guitarist. Since she did so, I think he had a duty to refuse and remind her why. She has, after all, devastated his family and begun an adulterous relationship in his house.

I would say that, for example, if a parent was being lax about going to Mass it would be fine for the child to say, “aren’t we going to Mass?” and if “no” is the answer, then prompting that it is a serious sin not to go. Then if it’s still “no”, well drop it.

But, if you find your mother’s diaphram hidden in the sock drawer, well, probably not your place to bring up contraception. Now, if Mom has “the talk” and brings it up-- fair game.
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Would it be appropriate for him to refuse to attend the wedding?
 
Debora123 said:
Would it be appropriate for him to refuse to attend the wedding?
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In general, I would say that could be imprudent given that he is under her authority and especially if he is a young teen, but he sounds older and perhaps given that he seems to know his own mind, it could be totally appropriate-- we don’t do anyone any good when we pretend everything is OK with their adultery.

I have seen some very contentious divorce/remarriage situations that have really hurt the kids and caused a lot of harm. I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want to go for that reason alone.

I would have loved to skip out on my Dad’s #3 and #4 weddings… blech… and I wasn’t even Catholic then nor considering their validity.
 
Would it be ok for me to accept and be a groomsman and musician at the wedding? I informed my mother that I would make my official decision by tonight. I told her also that I would participate in the wedding not to show my nonexistent approval or promotion of sin, but to show that I am her son and part of her new “family.”
 
Escopiliatese said:
Would it be ok for me to accept and be a groomsman and musician at the wedding? I informed my mother that I would make my official decision by tonight. I told her also that I would participate in the wedding not to show my nonexistent approval or promotion of sin, but to show that I am her son and part of her new “family.”
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I know a lot of people here will disagree with me, but I think the right thing to do would indeed be to go. Not necessarily be IN the wedding, but at least go. Because she is your mother and she wants you there. This is one of those grey areas where perhaps doing the by-the-book, letter-of-the-law thing would end up doing more harm in the long run. You should honor your mother and go, not because she is getting “married” but because she is your mother and is requesting your presence.
 
Debora123 said:
I know a lot of people here will disagree with me, but I think the right thing to do would indeed be to go. Not necessarily be IN the wedding, but at least go. Because she is your mother and she wants you there. This is one of those grey areas where perhaps doing the by-the-book, letter-of-the-law thing would end up doing more harm in the long run. You should honor your mother and go, not because she is getting “married” but because she is your mother and is requesting your presence.
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Could I partake in the wedding?
 
Escopiliatese said:
Could I partake in the wedding?
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Personally? I probably would. I don’t think it would be a sin on your part to do so. You already made it clear to your mom where you stand, anything else you do at this point you’ll be doing because she is your mother, not because you approve. And she knows that.
 
Debora123 said:
Personally? I probably would. I don’t think it would be a sin on your part to do so. You already made it clear to your mom where you stand, anything else you do at this point you’ll be doing because she is your mother, not because you approve. And she knows that.
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Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut.
 
Escopiliatese said:
Would it be ok for me to accept and be a groomsman and musician at the wedding? I informed my mother that I would make my official decision by tonight. I told her also that I would participate in the wedding not to show my nonexistent approval or promotion of sin, but to show that I am her son and part of her new “family.”
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Unfortunately, whether you intend to show approval or not, your participating in the wedding will give that impression to everyone. Attending the wedding may give a similar impression, though obviously not as strongly.

I think it is fine to attend the wedding, for the sake of family harmony. But I think participating in the wedding would be the wrong thing to do in this case. You could excuse yourself by simply saying how difficult your parent’s divorce has been and that you would find it too emotionally difficult to be directly involved here.

Discussing this with a trusted priest may help you find the best solution here.
 
underacloud said:
Unfortunately, whether you intend to show approval or not, your participating in the wedding will give that impression to everyone. Attending the wedding may give a similar impression, though obviously not as strongly.

I think it is fine to attend the wedding, for the sake of family harmony. But I think participating in the wedding would be the wrong thing to do in this case. You could excuse yourself by simply saying how difficult your parent’s divorce has been and that you would find it too emotionally difficult to be directly involved here.

Discussing this with a trusted priest may help you find the best solution here.
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This tends to be my opinion of it as well. The wedding party is typically supposed to be the group that officially witnesses the wedding, so it is much moreso a position of approval of the wedding than simply attending. But perhaps you should talk to a priest about this question before making your decision.
 
I think it would be ok to attend the wedding for the sake of your mother, but not to participate in it.

To me, participating in the wedding is showing to everyone that you approve. I don’t know what your relationship is with your dad, but this could be very hurtful to him - so soon after they were divorced.
 
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