Adulterous Marriage?

[Debora123]

Well the thing is, he asked if he CAN partake not if he SHOULD.

I agree it may not be a great idea to partake, but would it be a SIN to do so if his mother asked? I don’t think it would.

So my answer to his question of whether or not he “can” (as in, is allowed to) partake, is yes. He most certainly can partake without being guilty of sin. That’s what I think.

 

[thewanderer]

Well the thing is, he asked if he CAN partake not if he SHOULD.

I agree it may not be a great idea to partake, but would it be a SIN to do so if his mother asked? I don’t think it would.

So my answer to his question of whether or not he “can” (as in, is allowed to) partake, is yes. He most certainly can partake without being guilty of sin. That’s what I think.

I do understand that, but, as I see things, I know that I do not think that I can be in a wedding party of an invalid marriage. I know there is no official church teaching on this, but as I understand the role of the wedding party, I think it is something I can’t do. Again, this is my opinion, just as it is your opinion is that this is something that could be done. This is why I suggested that the OP speak to a priest about his situation. It is certainly a difficult position that I do not envy. Lets be sure to say some prayers for him.

 

[Debora123]

I do understand that, but, as I see things, I know that I do not think that I can be in a wedding party of an invalid marriage. I know there is no official church teaching on this, but as I understand the role of the wedding party, I think it is something I can’t do. Again, this is my opinion, just as it is your opinion is that this is something that could be done. This is why I suggested that the OP speak to a priest about his situation. It is certainly a difficult position that I do not envy. Lets be sure to say some prayers for him.

Yeah I just wanted to make sure he knows it’s really up to his judgement and his discretion, since it’s his mother and his mother’s request, and not just any other person. You are right, there is no written rule on this, so there is no “Nope, you absolutely CANNOT partake!” and that’s what I wanted to make sure he knew, since no one else had made that clear.

If he is still trying to make a decision and is still feeling unsure in his conscience, then yes, definitely see a priest.

Prayers to the OP.

 

[on_the_hill]

If he is still trying to make a decision and is still feeling unsure in his conscience, then yes, definitely see a priest.

Prayers to the OP.

My thought exactly.
My priest would probably say to go and do it, that it’s better to keep a family together and pray that there will be a future reconciliation.

 

[MJJean]

The only official witnesses to a wedding are usually the best man and maid/matron of honor. That is who signs the marriage license to satisfy the law that the wedding vows took place. The OP has not been asked to be an official witness. He has been asked to be present, be a groomsman, and to play some music. It’s not the same thing.

On a side note, have you talked to your mother about delaying the marriage until she has applied for a Decree of Nullity and either been granted one or denied? If she had a Decree of Nullity granted she would be totally free to marry and you would be totally free to give her your blessing and to fully participate in good conscience. Encourage her to think about it and to at least go speak with your family’s priest about the possibility.

 

[Debora123]

My thought exactly.
My priest would probably say to go and do it, that it’s better to keep a family together and pray that there will be a future reconciliation.

I can see my priest saying the same thing. It’s the kid’s mom, ya know?

 

[bsroufek]

I’m glad you got up the courage to oppose your mother’s sin and to back out of the wedding
plans and participation.

God bless you, and may God grant repentance to your mother.

 

[Groo]

This is a delicate situation because the divorce was recent and appears to have been initiated by the mother.

To me, being a groomsman shows support for the ‘other man’ more than the mother (hence the name groomsman). I realize the intent is to show support to the mother, but being a groomsman could be hurtful to the father. If my wife left me, married within 2 years, and my son was a groomsman for another man - that would be hurtful to me.

Maybe it would be ok with the father - I don’t know. But I think his feelings need to be considered as well.

It is a tragic situation when a child has to choose between parents. The OP has a good head and a good heart. I am sure he whatever decision he makes will be with charity and love.