Adulterous Remarriage / Children

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Currently, I am re-married to a divorced woman. We have all appearance of Happy Home - both my wife and I are successful professionals and share a business together. We have two beautiful children from our marriage.

However, I now want to come back to Catholic Faith. My first wife died though after we divorced, so I am a Widow. My current wife is more or less Agnostic / Marginally Christian. She refuses to go to Catholic Church and refuses our children to be baptized.

I believe as Luke 16:18 says that I am with a Divorced woman and so I am living in Adulterous Remarriage and in State of Grave Sin.

However, I fear for the suffering of our children if we divorce as I cannot live like “Brother and Sister” so must seek a new wife who is either single or widowed.

Your advice / thoughts / and prayers welcome.
 
I think you need to speak to a priest, and then possibly to a marriage therapist. If I understand correctly, you are considering breaking up your marriage because of a verse you hold dear from the bible? I don’t believe the Church or a marriage counselor would advise that is a wise or prudent thing to do.

You will get all kinds of advice here. Some good, and some really bad. Again, go directly to the professionals who can help you work through this issue.
 
Thank-you I already spoke with a Priest - yes I can have our marriage annulled as we were not married in a Catholic Church and she is divorced and first husband still alive.

Luke 16:!8 Jesus said anyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery and anyone who marries this put away wife commits adultery.

Similar verses in Mark and Matthew.

Saint Paul in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 clearly state that Adulterers shall not enter the Kingdom of Heaven and Jesus says repeatedly obey the Commandments especially do not commit adultery. While her first husband lives she is still married to him by God and so our marriage is really an adultery.
 
You have two children. What I find most disturbing about your post is that you are willing to even consider ditching your current wife and seeking a new one that is a better fit. You quote bible verses to justify this conclusion you have come to.

It sounds like a very unhealthy marriage you are in. I don’t know if that is a reason to walk away from it, or a reason to put more effort into making it work. This complicates matters further. What did the priest tell you, aside from anullment being an option?
 
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Are you aware of Scripture - I am in an ADULTEROUS Remarriage per Jesus own words.
 
That is all I got from the Priest he said I could annul the current marriage by Form (i.e., not married by Catholic Church per Sacrament). Thank-you for your comments about “unhealthy marriage” that is worth meditating on.
 
I also have a good idea of what I believe He might say about a man who ditches the mother of his children and breaks up his family because of a mistake he may have made years ago.
 
How do you repent from an adultery? Continue in the adultery and in a grave state of sin? There is no forgiveness if there is no repentance (admitting and quitting).
 
Did you actually ask a Priest about what to do about remaining in your marriage or did you just ask about separation? It can be done, and for the sake of your family I would try to do it.

I do find it odd that you are already focusing on a new wife. Do you not love your spouse? Why would you not do everything to try and keep your family together? You say you cannot live as brother and sister - you need to try everything for your family.
 
1 Corinthians 7, Saint Paul states “10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.”

The Bible says the Wife must remain UNMARRIED . . . so if I am legally married to my current Adulterous Remarried Wife - is that not in violation of the Saint Paul in the Bible who says “the Lord” commands this.

Further Romans 7, Saint Paul provides “f3So then, if she is joined to another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law and is not an adulteress, even if she marries another man.”

Remaining as Brother and Sister seems to contradict the Bible in above verses, Jesus say “marry” another not just sexual relations. I am not convinced remaining living together as “brother and sister” is enough to forsake the adulterous marriage and truly repent.

Of course, responsibility to children remain and must be reinforced and a priority.
 
There is no love for your wife in these posts.

You don’t have to throw your wife, the woman you chose , had children with , and who works hard with you, in the successful business , into the trash.

God is love and mercy, not about discarding and destroying families.

You need to acknowledge the choice you made with her, and speak to your priest about making this work.

Stop focusing on that woman you have lined up as your next wife.
 
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I would say she is in the dark about this. It’s going to come out of Left field.
Purely because of the happy and success family talk.

But,
…I. could be wrong
 
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Talk to your Priest about how you could get your marriage recognised in the Church. There is no teaching that states you have to split up with your wife at all - don’t take that step as your first resort.
 
You know what the answer is, but you have already stated you are unwilling to live that way. So now, you are willing to toss your wife and children aside to move on to another wife?

Nice. :roll_eyes:
 
You say you want to come back to the Church. The Church provides the answer in this situation—you just don’t seem to like it.

You are not expected to abandon your wife and children—you are expected to live in continence until you can get your marriage regularized.

You made the choice to marry a divorced person; you are compounding the sin by abandoning her.
 
That is something that you need to discuss with the priest, but I doubt he will recommend leaving your wife and children. You say that you can not live as brother and sister, but that might be your repentance for a while. Your children have done no wrong. They aren’t the ones who need to repent. You are. So you may have to suck it up until you have determined if your current marriage can be normalized in the Church.

What is most disturbing about your post is that you almost see to look at this Scripture as a loop hole to bail on your responsibilities. A loving husband and father would exhaust every possibility to stay with his spouse and children before saying, “Ah well. Jesus said this is adultary so I don’t have to stay married.” Even if you do get divorced, you shouldn’t be getting remarried because your attitude about your current marriage sucks. Besides that, and assuming you live in the US or some other civilized country, you don’t get to use the “Jesus said so.” excuse to bail on your children. You are required to continue to support them financially and you might even owe your wife alimony. And from a moral standpoint, you are obligated to continue being an active father to your children despite your marriage not working out. So if you are imagining a “fresh start” here, it ain’t gonna happen.
 
Yeah. I somehow imagine that the OPs perception of a happy marriage may not be universally perceived. His words are not the words of devoted husband and loving father. We’ve seen people in those situations on CA before and they are devastated and upset, trying to figure out if there’s anyway they can follow God’s law without harming their loved ones. This guys like, “Well, I can’t go without sex, so I’ll just have to find a new Catholic female. Oh well. Good thing my first wife died and I’m free to get annulled so that makes it easier to go on to female number three!”
 
The Lord said whosoever MARRIES her that is divorced, and Whoever divorces and MARRIES another, commits adultery. It is the marriage that is adultery. The adulterous couple must leave the MARRIAGE, in other words file for a civil divorce. It is not sin to divorce from adultery. It is repentance. As for living like brother and sister in the SAME HOUSE, gives a false impression and an appearance of evil. Some will instead live in the same neighborhood, or the same apartment building, but never under the same roof. It is also a godly example for the children to know that their biological parents are obeying God’s Word, and living it out before them. Always be close to the children, support them spiritually, emotionally, and financially. Severing an Adulterous Marriage which is a Grave Sin can be done and fulfilling parental duties as top priority is another thing.
 
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