Adultery and confession

[DIEGO257]

A couple at work that are living together, He’s single and she is divorse both are catholic, as I understand this is mortal sin. Well she was upset the other day because she went to confession and the priest at her local church denied her confession because of her situation. So they both went to another catholic church where there they found a priest that I guess for whatever reason grant her confession and I suppose she will now go to take communion. I think this will make it worst, as far as I know they are only catholic by name the way He talks about the church. I need help on how to tell him that they are only making things more complicated. anyway, if you can recommend a book or anything you have available for me to show him in writing why this is mortal sin from scripture and not something the church decided was right or wrong. They both say they want to do the right thing but are ignorant on how to go at it, and what makes matters worst is that he works together with a guy that is completely anticatholic and has invited him to go to his church where there are more understandable of his situation.so he claims. Can you also recommend something on annulement procedure a step by step book on how it works.
Thanks for your help

 

[kage_ar]

For a book on the process by which the Church finds marriages valid or null, I would suggest either of these books

shop.catholic.com/cgi-local/SoftCart.exe/online-store/scstore/p-CB299.html?L+scstore+xgyt4362ff3a8d3a+1281958524

shop.catholic.com/cgi-local/SoftCart.exe/online-store/scstore/p-B0514.html?L+scstore+xgyt4362ff3a8d3a+1281958524

To find where the Bible says that sex outside of marriage is a sin, here are a few verses:

Matt 5: 27 - 32

Matthew 15:19

Mark 7:21 and 22

Mark 10: 11-12

Matt 19: 9 and 18

Acts 15: 20 and 29

Acts 21: 25
I Cor 6: 13 and 18
Gal 5:19
Eph 5: 3
Col 3:5
1 Thes 4:3

That is a few of them…

 

[aime111]

Tell them to read about Padre Pio. He refused many many Catholics their confession until they saw the full extent of their sins! Those people were converted into union with Christ as a result of his actions.

If they want to go to another church there is nothing you can do about that. Some will look for other outlets which will turn their heads with regard to sins such as adultery, homosexuality, etc. However, if they truly want to do the right thing, as a friend, give them direction. Turn them to the Catechism of the Catholic Church and let them see what adultery is, and the reason why they need file the annulment. The tribunal process is not very painful. It is usually pretty straight forward and painless - just some waiting.

Besides, they know that what they are doing is wrong. But some people just don’t want to do what it takes to make things right. They don’t want to acknowledge that their actions are not for Christ, but for themselves. Your friends, by virtue of the actions they have already taken, don’t seem to be that way.

You see, they need to know that true Christianity is putting Christ before ourselves, each other, our children, etc. Once they put Him first everything else will fall into place.

 

[BlestOne]

Not to be picky but the priest denied absolution not confession… I got halfway done reading it when I finally got what you were talking about because i was waiting to hear how the priest wouldn’t even hear the person’s confession and why…

As for the question you asked…

I would lead them to this website:
zyworld.com/PURENHART2/purity.htm

 

[GraceDK]

**Matthew 5: 32 **are the words of Jesus on this matter. Its does not get any more authoritative than this from His own lips.

Give that to your friend. Then you have done what you can… and what the priests should have all said from the pulpits.

 

[rpp]

My guess is that they did not tell the second priest they were cohabitating, or at least that they were denied absolution from another priest. That or they said they would correct their living situation but did not mean it. these would all invalidate the absolution.

Even if none of these were true and the priest knew all the details and granted them absolution anyway, the priest would have acted wrongly and the absolution would still be invalid.

In either case, priest-shipping is just plain wrong. I mean we are talking about people’s immortal souls here, not about patting yourself on the back and feeling good about yourself.

I suggest the Christopher West book, Good News about Sex and Marriage, available here.

 

[Feedmysheep]

In either case, priest-shipping is just plain wrong.

I hate priest-shipping, too. I just feel so badly for them, all crammed into those shipping boxes like that.

To the OP, I’d be very, very careful how you approached the man in the situation. If he’s already got a guilt-free “church” lined up, don’t give him an excuse to use it.

Don’t water down the Truth, but once you’ve offered resources for him to look into, don’t press it unless he asks. Assume the best of the couple (though in this sordid situation I can’t imagine what the best would be ), remain an approachable person for him to ask questions of, and then, you know, butt out.

 

[rpp]

I hate priest-shipping, too. I just feel so badly for them, all crammed into those shipping boxes like that.

“O” and “I” are roght next to each ither!

To the OP, I’d be very, very careful how you approached the man in the situation. If he’s already got a guilt-free “church” lined up, don’t give him an excuse to use it.

Don’t water down the Truth, but once you’ve offered resources for him to look into, don’t press it unless he asks. Assume the best of the couple (though in this sordid situation I can’t imagine what the best would be ), remain an approachable person for him to ask questions of, and then, you know, butt out.

I do agree this is a difficult and delicate situation. A friendship may be lost here, losing the chance to help bring these people back to the truth.

Suggesting Christopher West the book mentioned earlier may be the best thing. OR look around your diocese, many dioceses have groups that host the 8-part “Created and Redeemed” program on Theology of the Body. Trying to get them to attend that would be a great thing!

 

[Ruthie]

8-part “Created and Redeemed” program on Theology of the Body.

rpp, what is this program and where can I find it?

Thanks,

Ruthie

 

[rpp]

Ruthie,

“Created and Reemed” is a DVD series and study guide presented by Christopher West. You can find the material here.

ascensionpress.com/shop/Scripts/prodList.asp?idCategory=50

Each of the 8 video presentations is about 1 hour long.

What parishes or diocesan groups will do is host an 8 week program meeting for two hours once a week. The show the video then break up into small groups and review the material in the study guide. To defray the costs, many will charge about $10 per person to cover the cost of the study guide and the DVD.

It really is a great introduction. What many people do not realize is that Theology of the Body is not just about sexual morality. It is a completely different lens which we can use to look at all aspect of Catholic doctrine. This series presents the tip of the iceberg. I have personally seen it lead to conversions of the heart and it has helped people to make life altering decisions that bring them closer to the Lord.

If you cannot find a gourp that is putting this on in your diocese, consider asking the Faith Formation group, or your priest, if your parish could put this on. It will lead many people closer to the Lord and greatly improve their understand of authentic Church teachings.

 

[peary]

A couple at work that are living together, He’s single and she is divorse both are catholic, as I understand this is mortal sin. Well she was upset the other day because she went to confession and the priest at her local church denied her confession because of her situation. So they both went to another catholic church where there they found a priest that I guess for whatever reason grant her confession and I suppose she will now go to take communion. I think this will make it worst, as far as I know they are only catholic by name the way He talks about the church. I need help on how to tell him that they are only making things more complicated. anyway, if you can recommend a book or anything you have available for me to show him in writing why this is mortal sin from scripture and not something the church decided was right or wrong. They both say they want to do the right thing but are ignorant on how to go at it, and what makes matters worst is that he works together with a guy that is completely anticatholic and has invited him to go to his church where there are more understandable of his situation.so he claims. Can you also recommend something on annulement procedure a step by step book on how it works.

                                                            Thanks for your help

**People like that usually are not sincere in getting their relationship right with either God or His Church. They are going to do what they want to do regardless. I know you have the best intentions, but please think before you get involved in their lives. They may end up resenting you and you might be the one who makes matters worse.

The first priest was correct. Unless they stop living together and committing fornication there is no use going to Confession. It sounds like a complex issue. If she is not willing to let go of the relationship and continues to live together with him and have sin, I don’t see where the Confession was valid. There was and remains no remorse. And he doesn’t seem to be a prize in this regard either.

Personally, I would just let bygones be bygones and pray for them. Let them decide on their own journey.**