Well I’ll give it a shot.
If I understand correctly, you are civil divorced from your first husband, and he is the father of 2 of your children.
You met a man, lived with him for a while, got married and made a baby.
You said in your post you are not happy where you’re at now? Does this mean you are not happy with your husband, or does this mean you’re happy with the relationship but want to make things right with God and the Church?
Sometimes folks need a kinda road map or checklist in this situation so as not to feel so overwhelmed. If you look at the big picture you can come away thinking it is too much trouble or complicated to sort out.
First the past is the past. Whatever went down back then is history. Nothing you can do about it now, no need to beat yourself up over it or sit around coulda, shoulda, woulda.
Now you can say, “ok, now what I’m gonna do to move forward, so I have a future to look forward to.?”
Have a talk to with your current “husband” and advise him prolly some changes coming down, as you seek to straighten out your spiritual and earthly life. You will need his understanding, support, and patience. Tell him the train is loading, but its gonna leave the station with or without him. I say this in case he tries to talk ya outta of something.
Are your children baptized? Are they of CCD age? Make sure they are being raised in the Faith. If not, start the process.
Ok we got that outta the way.
Your first marrriage is Sacramental, it was Catholic, and until somebody in the Chain of Command says differently, it is valid, and must be respected. No judge down at the courthouse can make it otherwise in the eyes of the Church. Anything that happened with your current “husband” violated that marriage union and needs to be confessed, and respected from this day forward. A priest serving as Confessor in Reconcillation will help you immensely, and put you on solid spiritual ground.
What all that means gonna be in seperate bedrooms and prolly for a long time.
Back in good graces with God and the Church, next on the list is an annulment for your first marriage. This can take a long time, and nobody here on a forum on in your parish can say with certainity it will be granted. Anything outside the Tribunal would be speculation. All you can do is put forth the petition. Don’t worry about the what ifs, it is out of your hands. Whatever they decide you’ll follow it, and move forward from there.
Does your “husband” have impediments on his side that must be addressed? (piror marriages?) If so, they have to be accounted for. The details of these issues are outside the scope of this conversation, your parish is the place to get the details.
If annulment is granted, you will have to have your current marriage covalidated, that is not complicated once the impediments are cleared, but don’t get ahead of yourself.
You now know, no matter what happens, you have made up your mind to live correctly, I’d let that be my guide.
Now just pray and do keep doing the right thing, and have lots of patience. You’ll be amazed how clear all this will become, when you KNOW you’re doing the right thing. It will give you an inner peace to handle any situation.
Tell your husband the truth about things, and keep him informed.
