What should I tell a person who was happily married for 38 years recently had an affair and now is living with another person? Note: This person is a close relative.
I woudn’t want to alienate a family member forever, but you don’t do them any favors if you don’t at least express that s/he messed up. Another way to think of it is this, if (God forbid) you had done that to your spouse, what would you want your family to say to you? Wouldn’t you hope that your family would love you enough to point out the truth to you, and then forgive you when you were ready to make amends?
First of all, who said they were happily married if he/she strayed?
Stop living the sin, go to confession or go to hell.
I fail to see where anyone here judged the relative personally. Some have judged the behavior to be inconsistent with Christian living, which is reasonable and called for. And your comment about the CC having “dropped the ball” without further elaboration is gratuitous and very likely irrelevant to the discussion at hand.I can only speak from my personal experiences. My marriage of 18 years, was never good. I held on all that time hoping he would be loyal, he would be truthful, he would stop womanizing, he would come home. I was left home 24/7 with several very young children and even prevented from leaving the “home” I will not go on about me, yet I would like to say that as a cradle catholic I know that many of us are quick to jump in and dictate, judge and criticize. I can bet this woman knows without doubt that this is sin but she feels justified somehow. That does not excuse her in any way, however we cannot know the details behind her closed doors. Many of us pretend to be happy and doing well, when quite the opposite is true. I stayed faithful all those years, but finally when the stealing of my personal belongings began it was time for me personally to get out. We all have to search for our own peace and hopefully we are doing it with the guidance of our Lord. We cannot judge another, I have felt it, Yet for all the judgements, how many actually knew what was really going on in my home?. For me I was near stroke, for me it was self preservation and protection that I terminate my marriage so that my childen would be safe as well.
Again, I believe she knows and our obligation is to pray for her strength and conviction to do what is morally right.
I also believe that the catholic church as a whole has dropped the ball on many issues, especially in their support of families. We are not as pretty as we look on Sunday.
Stop living the sin, go to confession or **go to hell./**quote]
Hey! You don’t know the situation , you can’t damn that person to hell, shame on you .
As for the OP, I’ll pray for your relative that he finds his way back to his family. I’d also try to talk to him/her about the situation.