O
OfWonders
Guest
Hello everyone! Thank you very much for viewing my topic.
I have a moral dilemma in my life, and I’m not sure what to do. I’m in my early 20’s, and I’m studying Catholic Theology with the hopes of being a teacher or being involved in some kind of ministry someday. I love my faith dearly, and I make a strong effort to have a moral foundation that is based on honoring the Lord and being obedient to His will. Because I’m a student, I don’t have very much money, so I am living with my mother. We get along very well and treat each other lovingly and respectfully. Like me, my mother is Catholic and attends Mass on a weekly basis. My father passed away ten years ago, leaving my mother as a widow. She is a hard-working and generous woman whom I want the best for.
A few years ago, my mother began dating a man for the first time since my father’s death. He, too, is Catholic, and the three of us attend Mass together. The problem is that he has moved into my mother’s house, and the two are now living in cohabitation. For a couple of years now, they have been going through the motions of a husband and wife, including in an intimate sense, without actually being married. In my Theology classes, I have learned that this is a disordered way to live.
Yet, despite living in this way, the two continue to receive the Eucharist and pursue a Catholic life. Every morning, they pray the Rosary together in the bed that they shouldn’t be sharing.
I am writing this because I am very confused. I’m a young person, yet I know that this way of living is not honorable; how, then, can they not know it? How can my mother and her boyfriend, both lifelong Catholics, reconcile following Christ with this type of lifestyle? Do they not know that it’s wrong, or do they not care?
This has become a burden on my heart, not just as a member of this household, but as a daughter who so wishes for goodness in my mother’s life. There is nothing I can say to them, as it is really not my place. And I know that I am called to honor my mother, and I try to obey this by loving and respecting her. But my desire to love Christ, and my sense of morality, are unable to simply accept this situation as permissible. I know that I cannot judge the sins of others, and I am really trying not to do that here. But I feel as though I am living something of a double life, behaving and talking each day like everything is alright, when I know in my heart that it’s not.
I ask you all for advice. How can I balance loving them with loving God’s will? How can I avoid judging them? And if there is something that I can do, what is it?
Thank you all kindly for your time,
Rose
I have a moral dilemma in my life, and I’m not sure what to do. I’m in my early 20’s, and I’m studying Catholic Theology with the hopes of being a teacher or being involved in some kind of ministry someday. I love my faith dearly, and I make a strong effort to have a moral foundation that is based on honoring the Lord and being obedient to His will. Because I’m a student, I don’t have very much money, so I am living with my mother. We get along very well and treat each other lovingly and respectfully. Like me, my mother is Catholic and attends Mass on a weekly basis. My father passed away ten years ago, leaving my mother as a widow. She is a hard-working and generous woman whom I want the best for.
A few years ago, my mother began dating a man for the first time since my father’s death. He, too, is Catholic, and the three of us attend Mass together. The problem is that he has moved into my mother’s house, and the two are now living in cohabitation. For a couple of years now, they have been going through the motions of a husband and wife, including in an intimate sense, without actually being married. In my Theology classes, I have learned that this is a disordered way to live.
Yet, despite living in this way, the two continue to receive the Eucharist and pursue a Catholic life. Every morning, they pray the Rosary together in the bed that they shouldn’t be sharing.
I am writing this because I am very confused. I’m a young person, yet I know that this way of living is not honorable; how, then, can they not know it? How can my mother and her boyfriend, both lifelong Catholics, reconcile following Christ with this type of lifestyle? Do they not know that it’s wrong, or do they not care?
This has become a burden on my heart, not just as a member of this household, but as a daughter who so wishes for goodness in my mother’s life. There is nothing I can say to them, as it is really not my place. And I know that I am called to honor my mother, and I try to obey this by loving and respecting her. But my desire to love Christ, and my sense of morality, are unable to simply accept this situation as permissible. I know that I cannot judge the sins of others, and I am really trying not to do that here. But I feel as though I am living something of a double life, behaving and talking each day like everything is alright, when I know in my heart that it’s not.
I ask you all for advice. How can I balance loving them with loving God’s will? How can I avoid judging them? And if there is something that I can do, what is it?
Thank you all kindly for your time,
Rose