Advice and prayers needed

[vallancec]

My sister and I for the last year have not been getting along. She is still married to her husband but living with another man and just had a baby. Last week their apartment was deemed unsafe and they have to move. My parents are giving them a house in the neighborhood so my wife and I are going to be running into them more. My mom thinks we should be loving and supportive towards my sister so we don’t scare her a way. My wife thinks we should have nothing to do with them. I love my sister and I want to help her find the right path, but I know she is living in sin and we should try to avoid it. Any thoughts or ideas folks? Thanks for the prayers
C.

 

[Xantippe]

My sister and I for the last year have not been getting along. She is still married to her husband but living with another man and just had a baby. Last week their apartment was deemed unsafe and they have to move. My parents are giving them a house in the neighborhood so my wife and I are going to be running into them more. My mom thinks we should be loving and supportive towards my sister so we don’t scare her a way. My wife thinks we should have nothing to do with them. I love my sister and I want to help her find the right path, but I know she is living in sin and we should try to avoid it. Any thoughts or ideas folks? Thanks for the prayers
C.

Do you have any kids at home?

If you don’t, I think that gives you more latitude in figuring out how to handle this.

 

[Anglewannabe]

My sister and I for the last year have not been getting along.

Why aren’t you getting along? Has she or is she doing unkind things to you? If so what has she done? I ask so I can help find a solution. If the reason you aren’t getting along is because of her moral choices, then perhaps you could quit judging.

She is still married to her husband but living with another man and just had a baby.

Who is the baby’s father?

Last week their apartment was deemed unsafe and they have to move. My parents are giving them a house in the neighborhood

Is this a case where your parents are rescuing her ? If yes, that is their choice. If it is a case where your parents are helping and your sister is being responsible and paying rent etc again, there is no need for judgement

My mom thinks we should be loving and supportive towards my sister so we don’t scare her a way.

Again, what kind of support those you mom mean? Codependant rescuing? Or being a kind brother as Jesus wants?

My wife thinks we should have nothing to do with them.

Well, your wife’s wishes do come before your mom’s after all. But again, why doesn’t your wife want to help? If your wife being unreasonable or smart?

I love my sister and I want to help her find the right path, but I know she is living in sin and we should try to avoid it. Any thoughts or ideas folks? Thanks for the prayers
C.

As much as we should not participate in sin, there is no avoiding it until we are in heaven. So, back to my original question, what is your sister doing? Is she simply choosing her lifestyle and respecting you have a different one? Or is she putting bad ideas in your ids head?

 

[vallancec]

Do you have any kids at home?

If you don’t, I think that gives you more latitude in figuring out how to handle this.

Yes we have three kids.

 

[Xantippe]

Yes we have three kids.

If they’re little itty bitty, you might still have a lot of wiggle room, but if they’re tween/teenage feel free to limit the number of full-family get togethers you have. You might want to see her independently more, though, and make sure that there is a gift for the baby for Christmas and birthdays.

Best wishes!

 

[vallancec]

Why aren’t you getting along? Has she or is she doing unkind things to you? If so what has she done? I ask so I can help find a solution. If the reason you aren’t getting along is because of her moral choices, then perhaps you could quit judging. We attempted to not judge, but she was rude the last time she came to the house to our friends and I pointed it out to her she became angry.

Who is the baby’s father? The boyfriend is the father

Is this a case where your parents are rescuing her ? If yes, that is their choice. If it is a case where your parents are helping and your sister is being responsible and paying rent etc again, there is no need for judgement
No rent, free of charge.

Again, what kind of support those you mom mean? Codependant rescuing? Or being a kind brother as Jesus wants? I think Mom is trying to be kind, but won’t say how she feels about it.

Well, your wife’s wishes do come before your mom’s after all. But again, why doesn’t your wife want to help? If your wife being unreasonable or smart?

As much as we should not participate in sin, there is no avoiding it until we are in heaven. So, back to my original question, what is your sister doing? Is she simply choosing her lifestyle and respecting you have a different one? Or is she putting bad ideas in your ids head?

She thinks we are bring mean to her when we talk to her about her being married and living with another man. She also comes to family events and say respectful thinks about our way of living

Thanks for taking the time to ask questions.

 

[Anglewannabe]

She thinks we are bring mean to her when we talk to her about her being married and living with another man. .

If your sister brings up the topic, then it is OK to state your view. However, if she never asked your opinion, then … you really have no right to bring it up. Regardless of your intentions

She also comes to family events and say respectful thinks about our way of living .

If you really meant respectful, then your sister is being nice.

Now, at the end of the day, you do have 3 kids and I you feel she is being a bad influence on them, yes, set the boundaries. Personal I don’t think it matters how young kids are. Kids pick up a lot of things adults are not aware of. Also, I think it is best to set the precedent NOW. Once your kids are older, you can’t all of a sudden expect your sister to change