Advice, engaged to a mormon?

[bill_fitzgerald]

I just want to give my thanks to everyone who commented, I agree that it just wouldn’t work out in the long run, there is just too much different. She got upset with me for wearing a crucifix, I was honestly a little taken back, I didn’t even know how to respond to that.

 

[Horton]

Think about that reaction and then having to live the rest of your life with that.

 

[Irishmom2]

Looking ahead…if she ís upset about you wearing a crucifix, can you imagine the disagreements over raising children together?

 

[Legend]

Oh,the LDS, more due to tradition than any, written word of their church, do not, as a rule, use crosses and crucifixes. They really think of Jesus as an exalted man, and don’t want it lo look like they are ‘celebrating his death’ Some Mormons have been relaxing this rule. But I heard of a Mormon elder who actually ripped a cross from around a young girl’s neck! So, it isn’t too unusual for them to feel upset by this practice.

 

[Trishie]

Holding you in my prayers, Bill.
It’s not an easy situation for you.

 

[Cathoholic]

Lemuel . . .

I was a Mormon for 57 years. It was mostly pain and misery. I was baptized Catholic just over a year ago. It’s been the best year of my life. Stay on your Catholic course.

Congratulations Lemuel!

I am very happy to hear of this.

God bless.

Cathoholic

 

[13pollitos]

This is interesting to me. I’ve met several Mormons that are military families and there are LDS chaplains as well. I thought the LDS chaplains wore a cross on their uniform like the Protestant and Catholic chaplains do. Was I mistaken or is it viewed differently for military? If it’s different, why?

 

[Legend]

I really don’t know how they handle this, in the military. Mormons don’t consider themselves ‘protestants’ as they believe that their doctrines and ways of worshiping were what Jesus taught, and that corruption of the gospel began soon after Jesus’ death. The Book of Mormon, along with other ‘finds and revelations’ contain what is the true gospel, and it was revealed to Joseph Smith and other prophets, in the mid 1800’s.

So, you can see how different Mormonism is quite different from any Christian denominations! They don’t think they are moving ahead, but restoring the gospel to what it ‘should’ be…and once was! I’m just glad that I was never in a position of feeling I had to follow, or even listen to them. I just got interested in these beliefs from the place their leaders tried to discourage their members from going…yes, this big, bad, internet!

 

[13pollitos]

I realized they don’t view themselves as Protestant but I did not know they didn’t like crosses or crucifixes. I looked online just now and sure enough the chaplains wear a cross in their uniform

More and more LDS chaplains are bringing God, not necessarily a Mormon God, to the troops

A soldier makes his first kill. He may feel guilty, confused, sad, scared, scarred or any range of emotions.

www.sltrib.com

It seems it is one more thing that they do that can’t really be reconciled with their faith.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Good answer from the LDS official website:

https://www.lds.org/study/ensign/2011/07/the-meaning-of-the-cross-for-latter-day-saints?lang=eng

As a military person, the cross is considered a way to denote the faith of the Chaplain. Cross for Christianity, Star of David for Jewish, etc. Problem is, the rest of Christianity do not consider LDS Christians as they are polytheistic.

 

[AdamP88]

What makes mixed marriages tough is if neither of you are in a place of compromise or respect for the others background.

For some people, compromising on faith is just not going to happen though. And I wouldn’t necessarily be extolling it as a virtue.
I mean, someone’s faith must have to suffer in order for a mixed marriage to work.

 

[TC3033]

And for those people it may not work. Nobody’s faith “has” to suffer as some people in mixed-marriges have different levels of faith or commitment to it. Some non-Catholic Christians are fine with going to Mass on Sunday vs. going to their church. I’m one that will go to church with my wife and kids instead of going to mine, I don’t go twice and don’t expect them too. On the rare occasion I attend my church, the family has no issues going with me. They actually like it there. I don’t think anyone’s faith is suffering.

From our point of view, mixed marriages (successful ones anyway) have a real aspect of mutual respect for the others faith. If one or both can’t respect the other, the marriage is going to struggle…unless one is more lukewarm than the other.

 

[EnglishTeacher]

The kids can’t be both Catholic and Mormon, though. It would have to be one or the other; that’s an area there is no compromising on. I believe a mixed marriage is much more likely to work if either 1) there are no children involved (for example if the parties marry when they are past childbearing age), or 2) one of the spouses is fine with the children being raised in the other spouse’s faith. If both parties feel strongly about their respective faiths and raising a family in that faith, then it seems unwise to me for two such people to marry.

 

[TC3033]

The kids can’t be both Catholic and Mormon, though

Don’t disagree.

I believe a mixed marriage is much more likely to work if either 1) there are no children involved (for example if the parties marry when they are past childbearing age), or 2) one of the spouses is fine with the children being raised in the other spouse’s faith.

For us, there are 3 kids involved. I’m cool with them being raised Catholic…but for all intents and purposes, my wife and I are so on the same page they’re being raised both.

If both parties feel strongly about their respective faiths and raising a family in that faith, then it seems unwise to me for two such people to marry.

Agreed. This is a scenario where it may not be the best idea.

 

[Legend]

But, you’re not Mormon, are you?

Mormons have many rules and practices in which outsiders are banned; sealings (and that includes weddings); relief society for women, priesthood open to all men…it’s just not compatible with catholic and most other religions!

Also, a young man should, if at all possible, go on a mission, at their own expense, for two years, usually starting at age 19. And, they must preach the Mormon ‘gospel’ and do as they were 'trained to do. The door-to-door missionaries you see are generally not doing this in their spare time; for two years it’s a full time job, often far from their homes!

 

[bill_fitzgerald]

Just to add, though it probably goes without saying, Mormons are also heavily encouraged to raise their kids lds, and are heavily discouraged from marrying outside of the religion (especially women, seeing as their entry to the highest level of heaven is solely reliant on their sealed husband getting there.) I agree with some of what has been said here, if one or both members of the marriage are loose on their faith, I am sure it can work out. But she is a devout Mormon, and I firmly believe the catholic church is Christ’s true church on the earth. I don’t see how that can work in anyway, one of us would have to live a lie.

 

[TC3033]

Why is everyone going after me? Why not go for the other person who posted in this thread who also has a successful mixed-marriage?

I posted how ours was successful, and that this specific scenario may not be optimum. Please don’t go further putting words in my mouth that weren’t there.

I’d also just throw it out there that I’ve found out that Catholics also have many rules and practices where outsiders are banned as well, it’s been frustrating for us but we deal with it.

It’s nothing like Mormans though, which is why I said (maybe even twice) this isn’t the optimal situation.

 

[Hoosier-Daddy]

I think a lot of people dont realize the Catholic/mormon problems that a marriage would entail. You could have a faithful Anglican and a faithful catholic and work out the logistics. But with Catholic/mormons. You aren’t talking about different denominations, but different gods, different heavens, and a lack of hope on some level of attainment if heaven. One would have to break faith at some level to not try to actively convert the other. And while a Catholic husband would never baptize a mormon wife… the opposite would most likely happen. Not to mention the family and community of the mormon Church. The kids would be an absolute mess!!!

 

[Legend]

I never intended to go after you. Just wanted to clarify the differences between Catholicism and other Christian denominations, and Mormonism. As you can see, they are enormous! Different god(s), three levels of heaven, many things. Marriage can continue in the afterlife, and while they no longer practice polygamy, a Mormon widower can marry if he
wants to, while a widow who wishes to remarry must either marry for ‘time’ only, or have her ‘sealing’ to her late husband annulled. These are strange doctrines, and missionaries are told only to share ‘faith building’ aspects of their religion. So a person can find himself, after baptism, locked into a religion he really knows very little about! And Mormons may practice shunning, complete ostracism, if he’s living in an area with a high Mormon population. Friends, homes, and businesses will be lost!

It’s getting belter in the U.S., largely because the LDS population is shrinking. As I said before, the internet has a lot to do with this. Former Mormons, or those that question, have less fear now. So, it is getting easier for such people to speak their minds.

Let’s just hope this trend continues!

 

[Horton]

I don’t see where everyone is going after you. I think we are using your marriage of an example of how a mixed marriage between Christians can work. Marriage between a devout Catholic and a devout Mormon is incredibly difficult due to the extreme differences in theology. Catholics and Protestants are at least similar in theology.

I’d also just throw it out there that I’ve found out that Catholics also have many rules and practices where outsiders are banned as well

Aside from receiving the Eucharist I don’t feel there are rules and practices that Catholics have that actually ban those who are not Catholic. I’ve been both, Catholic and Protestant, and I’ve never seen it. You are the first and only person I’ve ever heard speak of the issues you mention.