Advice for a new parent

[Blessed_is_He]

I have some concerns about my 1 year old…

1. he started hitting me. I tried gently holding his hands to his side and say a firm no but he thinks it’s funny and doesn’t seem to care.
2. Sometimes he skips meals. Like today he wouldn’t eat lunch or dinner. Do I give him what he will eat even if it’s just snacks?
3. We still rock him to sleep and a bottle. We would like to start weaning him off of this. Is he still to young and also how do we go about it?

I am nervous for the future. Right now We only need rosary give the necessities food etc. Later we will have to be real parents meaning discipline, divisions for his best interest etc. I just don’t know what kind of parent I will be. Thanks.

 

[Viki63]

Some suggestions:
Get a good book on parenting, here is one, here is another that I liked. Someone else may have a better idea.
Follow your instincts. Love your child, and try to do what’s best for him, don’t follow any program that seems weird.

1. A lot of kids hit, you have to keep doing what you’re doing. Say a very firm, loud “No!” so he gets the idea that it’s not acceptable.
2. Little kids need to eat more often than just 3 meals a day, as I recall. Give him healthy snacks, small amounts, My grandson always said he didn’t want breakfast, and his dad would try to hover and forcefeed him. I just put a little kid’s plate in front of him with a few crackers, pieces of cheese, a little fruit, maybe some meat. If he ate it, okay, if not, okay. He usually ate most of it. Children will eat a balanced diet if it’s available, though it may not be balanced all in the same day.
3. I can’t really say about rocking and a bottle. I nursed my kids until they were 3. My second son stopped nursing at 3 and picked up the bottle, and quit it a few months later. I always lay down with my kids and read to them at bedtime. I think it’s a great bonding time.
   I’m not sure what you mean by divisions for his best interest.
   As long as you want to be good parents, there’s an excellent chance you will be.
   One thing I would do differently if I could start over: say the rosary as a family from a very young age. Start now, with your one year old. because trying to start when he’s sixteen, forget it.

 

[MichaelHowling]

We have a 2 yr old. Our parents have passed away and we really don’t have any family…

Needless to say, we were in the dark and had to figure things out on our own!

Yea, it can be scary! Especially that first year.

What you’re feeling is completely normal! We felt the exact same way (and still do)!
Sounds like everything your kid is doing is normal as well! … so…you all are right on schedule, lol.

By 1 yrs old, their brains are really beginning to “wake up” and they want to begin to grasp at how it is to be their own person…so they begin to start a little independence, develop likes/dislikes, and explore what they can do, get away with, etc etc etc.

For the most part…at this level…most of what they’re doing is “exploring”. They are waaaayyy below the “age of reason” and are NOT sinning! They can’t fall from grace and are simply just awakening to themselves and the world. So, you DON"T have some out of control kid.

Just a few points I’d like to make "

1. ALL kids are different and develop differently and at different times and a good parent is able to pick up on what their kid needs and is able to work their parenting around what is most effective for that kid.
2. Keep an active, HONEST, and viewable faith-life IN the house and outside the house
3. Both parent s have to stick together in every decision you make…you have to be equally stern (because they WILL find the "weak link and manipulate them) and set in what you decide to do!!! Your relationship between you and the spouse comes first! That is the lifesource for your child!!! many people disregard this and it’s HUGE!!! You have a covenant between you, your spouse and God and it is first!..if this breaks, it will make life harder for the child. So by putting your spouse first…EVEN above child…your child benefits most!
4. don’t let a 1 yr old frustrate you…they are able to freak out/cry/scream…they are expressing themselves and don’t know how the world works yet …if you get upset , you will be unable to calm them down. You need to learn to stay calm so you can become a calming force and demonstrate how to act…there’s no need to get upset (its hard especially in public to do this…but it’s important…don’t worry about what the public thinks…you are there for your child and are doing what they need!).
5. Lastly… right now at this age…it’s all about pattern. They may not understand your “discipline”…but u need to be quick to step in when needed and to do it over and over no matter how many times it takes to make them understand. They may not grasp a concept yet…but they DO pick up on pattern…and pattern will win out!

God bless, good luck!
Stay calm…no need to get freaked…it all works out! God apparently had enough faith in you to watch over HIS child…so have some faith in Him that He’ll help you act appropriately with your little one. So long as every act you do with the kid you do out of love and always looking to mold them to love God, you can’t go wrong!

Remember, you as parents have ONE responsibility above all… to be the image of God to your child so they understand what the parenthood of God is…you will paint the picture of who God is to your little one!

Big responsibility

 

[MaryT777]

Some suggestions:
Get a good book on parenting, here is one, here is another that I liked. Someone else may have a better idea.
Follow your instincts. Love your child, and try to do what’s best for him, don’t follow any program that seems weird.

1. A lot of kids hit, you have to keep doing what you’re doing. Say a very firm, loud “No!” so he gets the idea that it’s not acceptable.
2. Little kids need to eat more often than just 3 meals a day, as I recall. Give him healthy snacks, small amounts, My grandson always said he didn’t want breakfast, and his dad would try to hover and forcefeed him. I just put a little kid’s plate in front of him with a few crackers, pieces of cheese, a little fruit, maybe some meat. If he ate it, okay, if not, okay. He usually ate most of it. Children will eat a balanced diet if it’s available, though it may not be balanced all in the same day.
3. I can’t really say about rocking and a bottle. I nursed my kids until they were 3. My second son stopped nursing at 3 and picked up the bottle, and quit it a few months later. I always lay down with my kids and read to them at bedtime. I think it’s a great bonding time.
   I’m not sure what you mean by divisions for his best interest.
   As long as you want to be good parents, there’s an excellent chance you will be.
   One thing I would do differently if I could start over: say the rosary as a family from a very young age. Start now, with your one year old. because trying to start when he’s sixteen, forget it.

Great post! This type of parenting worked for me.
Mary.

 

[Phil_Marinus]

I have some concerns about my 1 year old…

1. he started hitting me. I tried gently holding his hands to his side and say a firm no but he thinks it’s funny and doesn’t seem to care.
2. Sometimes he skips meals. Like today he wouldn’t eat lunch or dinner. Do I give him what he will eat even if it’s just snacks?
3. We still rock him to sleep and a bottle. We would like to start weaning him off of this. Is he still to young and also how do we go about it?

I am nervous for the future. Right now We only need rosary give the necessities food etc. Later we will have to be real parents meaning discipline, divisions for his best interest etc. I just don’t know what kind of parent I will be. Thanks.

 Well obviously you might not have family  to help you...

Please don’t worry to much about the hitting, they grow out of that, they don’t realise there inflicting pain on someone when they do that, they gently need to feel pain,
Not a flogging, just a gentle one back…

Don’t worry to much about meal… Children graze like cattle in the field, walk a bit eat a bit,
They do get into a proper routine after a while,

There is nothing wrong with an 18 month old still on the bottle,,, 4 year old,,maybe not,

Put him to bed at 6.30 p.m and close the door… Reassure him you are very close by,but the door is not fully shut…

Don't even think discipline yet...  What he need is clean pants ,,
routine,lots of nurturing love, healthy food,  cuddles, a couple of toys, a happy loving home,,, and in a year or two a little brother,,,

 

[on_the_hill]

I

1. We still rock him to sleep and a bottle. We would like to start weaning him off of this. Is he still to young and also how do we go about it?

I’d let him do it that way for as long as he needs you to. By the time he’s 12 or 13 he’ll have grown out of it. Probably.

More seriously, I have three children, and although they’re still young, I can see how fast they grow up. There will be a time a few years from now when you’ll wish he still wanted to be rocked to sleep with a bottle. Enjoy it while it lasts.

 

[UbiCaritas15]

I have some concerns about my 1 year old…

1. he started hitting me. I tried gently holding his hands to his side and say a firm no but he thinks it’s funny and doesn’t seem to care.
2. Sometimes he skips meals. Like today he wouldn’t eat lunch or dinner. Do I give him what he will eat even if it’s just snacks?
3. We still rock him to sleep and a bottle. We would like to start weaning him off of this. Is he still to young and also how do we go about it?

I am nervous for the future. Right now We only need rosary give the necessities food etc. Later we will have to be real parents meaning discipline, divisions for his best interest etc. I just don’t know what kind of parent I will be. Thanks.

I would love to give you advice, but that it totally unrealistic So I will commiserate!

1. My kid hits a bit too. I tell him that hurts and he doesn’t want to hurt mommy. I don’t think he is old enough to reason. I try to send him to the corner if he hits hard. He doesn’t like the corner and always wants to say he is sorry. I am completely opposed to spanking, so we stick to corner, apologizing and explaining hurt. (My kid is two, barely)
2. If my kid won’t eat, and for some reason he seems to be a bit picky, I give him fresh fruit and yogurt. Generally it is sweet enough to entice him. We don’t do any candy and as few processed foods as possible.
3. My kid falls asleep in either my arms or his dad’s arms every night. Maybe when he is a bit older we will consider bed time weaning, but right now I don’t see any reason.

 

[St_Francis]

About the hitting: make a sad noise and face to let him know it hurts. The sad noise I used was like a puppy whining to get in the door. This lets him know that it hurts. If he gets really rough, I’s say, Oww! That hurts!, look sadder, and put him down and turn my back on him a bit.

Discipline is tough. I tried to use very small penalties so I would “nip things in the bud”–when the penalties were big, I tended to wait to apply them.

Discipline is like a learning process for the child, and we have to look at what will continue if left unchecked, and what they will grow out of. They will grow out of diapers… but they might not grow out of hitting. And sometimes the reason they grow out of something is that parents discipline them about those things.

OTOH, my mother had to remind us to say please and thank you til the day we left home–discipline is not always a matter of punishments and rewards. Sometimes just a steady application of reminders!

There are things i wish i has started sooner. My oldest was easily distracted by sounds, and i didn’t realize that that was something to deal with and as a result, she is left with that. Bit there are always these things with parents.

I would let mine skip meals but they would not get anything until the next normal time for eating, or else they would get the same food I offered at the meal they skipped. The children can’t be allowed to run things or disrupt the family according to their whims.

Also, I read a ton of parenting books. I read every one through the teens years in the library by the time my baby was born :lol: The conclusion I came to was that children are different and what works for one won’t work for another.

How wonderful that you and your husband are praying the Rosary and including your little one! A great way to start out one’s life

 

[Gwendolen]

Kids that age hit because they can’t use words yet to express themselves, and they lack impulse control. Boys in particular can be very physical. Sometimes teaching baby sign language can help express wants earlier. He will outgrow it, just let him know not acceptable and then divert his attention for the time being. You cannot reason with a toddler.