Advice for a romantic problem

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carguy

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So this is a long story if anyone wants it. But the short story is I have very strong feelings for this friend of mine and she knows it. But there is a big issue she was engaged and that ended when she found him cheating with her best friend at the time. I meet her like a month after this and had no clue as I only found out last week. I became friends and started to have feelings which she knows about. I have known her for over a year, but she lost contact and came back after about 6 months for 6 months. Any way she is very very reluctant to start dating anyone. Is there anyone out there with advice for me and/or prayers (like I have no clue what Saint to ask for help) for me? Feel free to PM me if you want the whole long story.
Joey
 
Patience, kindness and respect.
My sister was badly hurt, and anyone who tried to date her…she somehow managed to them pair up with other friends, however one man quietly was kind to her in little ways, and in his case, that included writing her songs as that is his talent…they’re happily married.
I would say, it would be wise to be respectful and not pushy, but to be kind in little ways, be trustworthy, as trust does take patience and love to rebuild.
When she rejects anything, perhaps say kindly, "I understand, you’ve been hurt and you need time.
Sincerity in validating her feelings, along with respectful kindness, will make her feel understood, and that can lead to trust.

May God bless you both,
kindly,
Trishie
 
I agree with the post above me. B patient, but also show her hat your not like most typical guys. That you actually have some morals, she should see your true feelings towards her.
 
With all due respect, the fact that she is scared of being hurt may not be the only reason she does not want to date you. I have heard of stories of men being kind and giving a hurt woman the encouragement she needed to get over her hurt. Once the woman was ready to date again, she would date someone else and the guy would be tossed aside.

Be honest with yourself, how much time are you willing to wait for her? Are you willing to take the risk that once her heart is mended she find someone else to date? Only you know the answers to these questions. It is something worth considering

Angie
 
Thank you all for you in put and kind words. I was just wonder I’m more than willing to wait I will just wait and keep up what I’m doing.
 
If she’s not ready, you can’t really make her. She has to get there on her own.

In my experience, in such situations there’s usually the fear that if she rejects you now, you will have wasted our one and only chance and she won’t give you another once she’s back to her normal self. The thing is, you never know. If this is what you worry about, stop.

This said, comforters often end up getting ditched when they’re no longer needed. Thing is, those wounded sparrows need a deep emotional connection when they’re wounded but they don’t need it when they’re back to health, so they just won’t keep it. At that point it would only constrain them. Besides, there was often something wrong about that connection in the first place (people aren’t really supposed to be in those more than friends but less than romance kind of situations).

All in all, keep a clean friendship and wait for the future. But don’t put your entire life on ice for her.
 
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