Advice for a teenager losing faith

[AnonymousUser3]

Hi everyone,

I am not a perfect Catholic, but I go to church every Sunday and I believe in being a good person. Recently though I am losing faith - I feel like God has something against me. I haven’t been happy in a very long time. I have great parents, and a generally good life apart from the fact I have a low self esteem. I won’t go into detail but my esteem is being damaged even more, in the cruelest ways by some people I am (or was) very close to. I don’t see why God would let this happen to me. I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong - I’m not perfect but neither is everyone else, and they are all happy in their lives.

Your prayers are asked for, thank you.

 

[missmorgan389]

You know, some times we go through really bad things in order for better things to fall into place. Your self esteem issues seem to be your primary cross at this point in your life. The only thing you can do is unite your suffering with Christ in all possible ways.

Prayer, prayer, and more prayer.

Reading: C.S Lewis’s “The Problem of Pain”

Finally: Talk to your priest, get to know him. He can be your spiritual source when you need him.

 

[Bartolome_Casas]

Hi everyone,

I am not a perfect Catholic, but I go to church every Sunday and I believe in being a good person. Recently though I am losing faith - I feel like God has something against me. I haven’t been happy in a very long time. I have great parents, and a generally good life apart from the fact I have a low self esteem. I won’t go into detail but my esteem is being damaged even more, in the cruelest ways by some people I am (or was) very close to. I don’t see why God would let this happen to me. I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong - I’m not perfect but neither is everyone else, and they are all happy in their lives.

Your prayers are asked for, thank you.

It’s hard to give advice knowing so little about your situation. Still, I’ll mention a few things that come to mind:

(1) “Against our will were we created and born, against our will do we live and die, and against our will will we stand in judgment before God.” That a quote from a famous Biblical commentary by Jewish rabbis from long ago. torah.org/learning/pirkei-avos/chapter4-29b.html

To me it means that we are all in the same boat. We all face circumstances that we did not create and which we cannot control. There is no escape from this, none at all. Not even very religious saints get to avoid suffering.

Not that all of life has to be nothing but suffering. And yes we ought to work to make things better, for ourselves and others. But there is no total solution in this life.

(2) Don’t through away your Catholic Faith because God is not solving all of your problems. Solving all of your worldly problems is not something that God is every going to do.

(3) Don’t waste a lot of time complaining in your mind about the shortcomings and sins and stupidity of other people. Don’t demand perfection of others.

(4) Don’t waste a lot of time considering all the criticisms of you that other people spit at you. Don’t demand perfection of yourself, even if others do.

(5) Don’t waste a lot of time feeling sorry for yourself.

(6) Don’t waste a lot of time trying to get others to feel sorry for you. Few will, and even if they do, what does that get you?

(7) Be practical. Be logical. Be sensible. Be hard working. Be focused. Be organized. Be self-disciplined. Set goals, make plans, and move forward.

 

[Robertanthony]

It’s hard to tell with so little info to go by. I notice you said you had “great” parents, not good, but great, but they were not able to impart you with enough self-worth for you to stand up for yourself, be assertive, not let people be cruel to you. It all starts with you, if you think you’re worth something, you’re valuable, you’re not gonna let anyone step on your toe without making sure that they’ll never even consider doing it again in the future. God is about crosses, that someone be happy and fulfilled is last on his list, he wants obedience, devotion, a docile sheep. I’m not saying he allows or sends these sufferings your way, you have wicked people around you who have free-will, they see you as weak and thus make you the victim of their wickedness. God is not gonna infringe on people’s free-will, he simply expects that you suffer and that you’ll carry that cross. God=cross, he let his own son be crucified, he’s not terribly upset over my little sufferings, even if they drive me to suicide, nor is he terribly upset over yours. God is impassible, he’s not able to experience emotions, he’s a cold-hearted father as you’ll rarely meet one, he’s after obedience, period.

 

[Womanoffaith10]

From what I can gather and I may be wrong it sounds to me like you are being subjected to come kind of bullying. As a young child I endured torture from my peers and even my own family members. I was picked on and left out because of a medical condition I had no control over. It truly hurt my self esteem and I began to feel like a “medical freak”. Today I am a happily married young woman with a good career, a home and some of the best friends I could ever ask for. I used to ask God why He allowed this to happen to me and what it was I could have possibly done wrong to experience this pain…and now I know. It made me a stronger and better person. I’ve overcome far more than most my age and because of what I felt being bullied it made me a more compassionate person. I believe that our trials are a test of our faith just as our Lord Jesus Christ Himself was tested by Satan. But as Romans 8:31-39 says “31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? 33 Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written:“For Your sake we are killed all day long;We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”[a]37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”. Remember God is always with you, He is never against you. I’ll pray for you that you can find peace in Him and in yourself. God Bless.

 

[lily20]

Are people bullying you? That can destroy anybody’s faith. It causes anxiety and depression. It doesn’t show itself immediately afterward. A few hours or days later, you feel down, and don’t even know why.

My advice is to go to Holy Mass, spend some good time with Our Lord. Go to Adoration. Say the Rosary even once-- you will feel much better. Also divine chaplet of mercy. These all bring us closer to Christ. Remember— seeing you are far from Our Lord is a good sign because you have realized that you need to re-invest in your relationship with Him. Not taking notice or caring/etc. of a distant heart and that’s something to be afraid of.

We are all in need of more faith, faith is a wonderful journey, and if you need more simply just ask him. He is a faithful God and will answer your prayer if it comes from a humble heart.

I asked for more faith about 3 years ago. I felt I was so far from God. The Lord is plentiful in his promises and will give you what you are seeking, if you Trust in Him. Also don’t expect overnight conversion-- it’s rare and far from inbetween. It takes discipline and upkeep-- just like anything.

In Christ,
Lily
<3

 

[lily20]

p.s. in the bible in times of trial the Lord says something peculiar and “un-American–” He says, “Rejoice.” Give thanks in your time of trial. I believe this is in James 1:12 also Romans 5:3

 

[PennyinCanada]

Keep your eyes on God and learn how to walk, being a blessing to others, and being kind.
You already know what happens when others are cruel. If they were walking with God and focused on blessing others and being kind, this wouldn’t be happening.

Don’t give up on God because others are mean. He’s in your corner, and he’ll give you strength to be the son/daughter of God you were meant to be.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Hi everyone,

I am not a perfect Catholic, but I go to church every Sunday and I believe in being a good person. Recently though I am losing faith - I feel like God has something against me. I haven’t been happy in a very long time. I have great parents, and a generally good life apart from the fact I have a low self esteem. I won’t go into detail but my esteem is being damaged even more, in the cruelest ways by some people I am (or was) very close to. I don’t see why God would let this happen to me. I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong -** I’m not perfect but neither is everyone else, and they are all happy in their lives. **

Your prayers are asked for, thank you.

Here you are making a big mistake, which is to compare your insides with someone else’s outsides. You cannot possibly know how happy everyone else is, even if they seem happy on the outside. They could be carrying the biggest cross you’ve ever seen and you just don’t know it.

If you have not been happy in a very long time, I suggest you see a doctor to find out whether or not you have depression. This can be treated and you can have your life back. Whatever it is that is causing you distress, you need to find a way to cope with it.

Have you spoken with your parents about your problems? Please ask them to take you to the doctor so you can find out if you need treatment.

I will add you to my prayers. God loves you, He has always loved you, He will never leave you.

 

[Gods_Peace]

Hi everyone,

I am not a perfect Catholic, but I go to church every Sunday and I believe in being a good person. Recently though I am losing faith - I feel like God has something against me. I haven’t been happy in a very long time. I have great parents, and a generally good life apart from the fact I have a low self esteem. I won’t go into detail but my esteem is being damaged even more, in the cruelest ways by some people I am (or was) very close to. I don’t see why God would let this happen to me. I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong - I’m not perfect but neither is everyone else, and they are all happy in their lives.

Your prayers are asked for, thank you.

Doubts about your faith come straight from the hot brew the devil steams up for those he see’s growing closer to God. Just realize it is a temptation, like everything else that draws us away from God, and that anything that pulls you away from God is sinful. So I would stay away from anything sinful at this point, and immerse yourself in the Catholic Church. She is ready to heal any wounds you might have.

 

[SchonGirl1]

Talk to your parents. If this is something that has happened at school, perhaps there are other school options you could explore. Perhaps you should look into counseling. Find an activity you are passionate about and pursue it. I fell in love with dance in high school and if I don’t dance I get depressed and have self-esteem issues.

Also remember that God often strips us to the core before greatly blessing us. Somebody else said that already, but I thought I’d mention it again because it is SO TRUE!

Pray a lot, ask your parents to pray with you and help you find a solution for the issues you’ve been having. I know sometimes that can be really hard, but I think parents begin to respect you and realize you are growing up when you confide in them and ask them for advice. It could definitely strengthen your relationship with them. Prayers your way!