Advice for confirmation without family support

[lmayo]

Hello all, I’m very new here and wanted to ask advice.

I am getting ready to be confirmed as an adult. I was raised protestant and I am currently going through RCIA. Although I am an adult, I am only 20 and my parents are very important to me. My mom is protestant but doesn’t practice. My dad converted to Jehovah’s witness and was baptized a year ago. He has often criticized my determination to join the Catholic church and often tries to “debate” me. He recently stated to me that he will not attend my confirmation because as a witness, he cannot walk into a church that “practices pagan rituals.”

I am, to put it simply, very hurt. I made an effort to attend his baptism, although I am obviously not a witness. Part of me wants to be angry and sad, but if I am to love and respect all other religions, I must respect that he cannot/will not attend. I try to remember this, but I am still deeply hurt that he will not be present on a day so important to me.

I also cannot help but think, will he not attend my wedding when it happens? He has stated previously that he will not attend his parents’ funerals if they are in churches.

Has anyone been through anything similar? Or does anyone have any advice? This hurts me so much and I am not sure what to do or say.

 

[DeniseNY]

I don’t really have advice, but I will pray for you and your family.

 

[Dan_Defender]

My dad converted to Jehovah’s witness and was baptized a year ago. He has often criticized my determination to join the Catholic church and often tries to “debate” me.

JWs believe that Jesus and the Archangel Michael are the same, where is the logic in that? not much of a debate in my opinion.
At any rate, your heart is in the right place. Have faith and entrust the matter to God. Pray for your Dad and put it into perspective: he has made his choices in life and now you are making yours. Both of you have free will.

 

[Irishmom2]

OP, if your father will not even attend his own parent’s funerals if they are in church sounds like he is so hardcore that you can’t change him, so my first advice is: don’t even try. Refuse to debate him, he will never admit anything no matter how well you explain that he is wrong.

But don’t take his rejection personally. He is not so much rejecting you or his own parents as he is rejecting anything that is not JW. One way to not have it bother you is, in realizing he is not rejecting you, remember that it is he that will be missing out on things, not you. Your life will go on. Your life cannot depend on what he will or will not do. He is the one that will not experience things in your family.

Welcome home!

 

[Dlee]

I came into the Church two years ago; the only family that attended was my adult daughter. My parents and sisters did not attend. It was hurtful that they did not even want to attend, but the excitement of the night along with my catechists, friends and church community made up for the hurt. I still think about how they did not attend, but don’t dwell on it. It’s my choice as to how if affects me now. Enjoy the remaining RCIA classes and the Easter Vigil - it’s amazing!

 

[Loud-living-dogma]

Dear OP, your situation sounds rough! My mom considered herself a hardcore Lutheran, although she never went to church! When I converted ten years ago, it’s like I was always having these imaginary conversations with her in my head (she passed away in 1999). She was also rather anti-Catholic! In a way I think it may have been easier for me if I could have had actual conversations with her, rather than my own imaginings! Anyway, I think there are a few of us converts who don’t have much family support. Hang in there, know that you are not alone, enjoy the process the best you can, and welcome home!

 

[Delphinus]

No advice, but my parents did not attend my confirmation or my baptism. I was not raised Christian and although they weren’t vehemently opposed, they just didn’t care enough about it to turn up.

I don’t have much advice, but just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone. Many have been shunned by family for choosing Christ. You can pray for them, witness to them (live a life that shows the goodness.of the faith) and just…love them.

 

[Jehu2077]

I had a dear friend, my wife, and infant son at my confirmation. My wife did not really want to be there but by the grace of God she’s getting confirmed a year after my confirmation.
In my case, things got easier. My Dad attended my daughter’s baptism (CoC, doesn’t believe in infant baptism) and has been open to my new faith now that it’s said and down.
Your results may vary, but prayer is powerful. I pray quite often to St. Elizabeth Ann Seton and Our Lady for the conversation of my family. Their intercession is powerful.