Advice for Evangelizing Family?

[scameter18]

Hello. I am a convert to Catholicism; I have been Catholic for about four years. I grew up without any particular religion, and when I did encounter it, I largely dismissed it due to my bad relationship with many people in my family. This is true for my sister as well - except that she did not convert to Catholicism when my father and I did. Since our conversion, we have both tried to evangelize my sister, as well as my grandmother who is a largely irreligious Christian. Many times, they will agree with what we tell them about the teachings of the Church. We try to make the Church as presentable and understandable as possible. Both of them tend to try to avoid unpleasant things, so we have largely refrained from telling them about Hell, though they have often heard my father and I discussing it and other more sorrowful truths of the Faith. Yet even when they repeatedly agree with us and show enthusiasm for the Faith, even sometimes saying that they are interested in baptism or going to Mass, when the time comes neither of them go with us to Mass. My sister has gone twice, and acted highly uncomfortable both times.

I’m not sure how I should approach this. I know how important and grave it is that both my sister and grandmother come into the Church, but all of my efforts have proved largely vain thus far. My sister, who is 17, seems to be increasingly falling into the traps of modern culture and its relativism, despite her continued agreement with my father and I when we discuss Church teachings with her. And my grandmother never expresses interest in it, only giving cursory agreement to what we say when we discuss it with her. She has never gone to Mass with us, despite our multiple invitations.

Can someone give me some advice on how best for me to evangelize my sister and grandmother in this situation? Is there more I can do, or should I just try to live the best example of Catholic faith and charity that I can and pray for them unceasingly? I am deeply worried for their salvation, especially my sister who I’m certain has never been baptized, but I know that I cannot force them to convert, nor can I try to coerce them into it. I am wary of using guilt or Hell as incentive, as I fear it may only push them further away or feel more like a threat than a genuine act of compassion and evangelization. There are also others in my family, some of whom know that I’m Catholic, who I have considered trying to evangelize but they are so unopen to it and unopen to me that I see almost no potential benefit from such an attempt. I would greatly appreciate any advice. God bless.

 

[omegapd]

Is there more I can do, or should I just try to live the best example of Catholic faith and charity that I can and pray for them unceasingly?

That sounds like a good plan to me. Look into the Green Scapular, too.

God Bless!

 

[pkrjenkins]

It sounds like you have done a great deal to present the truth to your sister and grandmother, but the decision is theirs. Sometimes we can run people off from church by continuing on and on about it. I agree that using fear of Hell or guilt is not a good way to try and win them over. Your idea to pray unceasingly is a good one, and hopefully they will become interested soon and join you and your dad. Continue to pray for them, that God will draw them to Him.

Pam

 

[suezette]

I agree with the rest, but remember, you can only do what you can do.

 

[kkollwitz]

My modest experience with conversions is that it takes time for people to percolate over the information you’ve given them. Just relax, and let the Holy Spirit do his work.

 

[scameter18]

Thank you all for your wisdom and advice. That does seem to be the best way to go at this point. I only hope and pray that they will see the light before there is no turning back. God bless.

 

[desales09]

I feel you on the family thing - neither of my parents are either Catholic or Christian - my now 13-year-old Niece became Catholic with me 3 years ago, and peer pressure and the secular culture have drawn her away from going to Mass with me. She recently chose to start going to a church with her non-Catholic friends (who comprise the majority of her friends - she never really developed close relationships with any Catholics, other than myself). She is more socially driven at this point than she is spiritually driven. Pretty common for her age - I just pray and hope that an overriding love for the truth and for Christ in the Eucharist will kick in at some point.

Sounds like it’s all already been said, but just thought I’d reiterate that strong prayer (especially centered on Christ in His Passion for the salvation of souls) and living it out earnestly is the best way to draw people to Christ - along with praying for the grace and wisdom to speak the right word at the needed time. Be a good grandson, a good brother, a good employee, a good friend. Live the gospel.

 

[scameter18]

Your comment was not superfluous. Thank you for sharing your similar experiences with me. I’m sorry for the pressure your niece is experiencing. My sister is similar; being 17, she is very much involved in the secular culture, though she is also a socially shy person and has not had very much socializing over recent years, largely due to private troubles we’ve faced. She seems to be in a place of spiritual uncertainty, as we all are I guess. But, what you say is true about prayer and example. Those are the ways for all Catholics to convert the world. God bless.

 

[PJM]

=scameter18

Advice for Evangelizing Family?

Hello. I am a convert to Catholicism; I have been Catholic for about four years. I grew up without any particular religion, and when I did encounter it, I largely dismissed it due to my bad relationship with many people in my family. This is true for my sister as well - except that she did not convert to Catholicism when my father and I did. Since our conversion, we have both tried to evangelize my sister, as well as my grandmother who is a largely irreligious Christian. Many times, they will agree with what we tell them about the teachings of the Church. We try to make the Church as presentable and understandable as possible. Both of them tend to try to avoid unpleasant things, so we have largely refrained from telling them about Hell, though they have often heard my father and I discussing it and other more sorrowful truths of the Faith. Yet even when they repeatedly agree with us and show enthusiasm for the Faith, even sometimes saying that they are interested in baptism or going to Mass, when the time comes neither of them go with us to Mass. My sister has gone twice, and acted highly uncomfortable both times.

I’m not sure how I should approach this. I know how important and grave it is that both my sister and grandmother come into the Church, but all of my efforts have proved largely vain thus far. My sister, who is 17, seems to be increasingly falling into the traps of modern culture and its relativism, despite her continued agreement with my father and I when we discuss Church teachings with her. And my grandmother never expresses interest in it, only giving cursory agreement to what we say when we discuss it with her. She has never gone to Mass with us, despite our multiple invitations.

My dear friends is Christ,

Thanks for asking. That is a good sign.

Before responding to your post-issues, allow me to point out that I’m an experienced, trained, tested and certified Teacher of our Catholic Faith. I’m now retired so I continue my Ministry on Forums and by mailed e-mail Lesson.

It’s also great news knowing you understand that God and The Church forbid us to force anyone; or coheres anyone into the Faith; regardless of how good our motives may be. Preaching Hell and Damnation could easily fall into this prohibition.

Can. 748 §1 All persons are bound to seek the truth in those things which regard God and his Church and by virtue of divine law are bound by the obligation and possess the right of embracing and observing the truth which they have come to know.
§2. No one is ever permitted to coerce persons to embrace the Catholic faith against their conscience

“Faith” which is and remains the exclusive property of God Himself is a gift, only he can and does grant to whom it pleases Him. Eph.2: 8; therefore the first step is to determine IF they actually wish to be evangelized?

If it is not apparent that they are unwilling to cooperate with God’s grace; then direct evangelization cannot take place.

Then what can be does is limited and fully reliant on God’s grace of conversion. So one would do as you suggested: Know fully what we believe; why we believe it and be able to discuss; explain and even defend it IF and When God presents the opportunity. Live it publicly and proudly. Mt. 5:14-16

A semi-active approach many be employed if you feel comfortable doing it? Have open discussions as you have already done; but is choosing your topics carefully with the idea of building a foundation of faith first.

I suggest using a “building block” approach which is what I do in my mailed lessons. If we don’t have a plan; we’ll likely be unsuccessful; miss key points and might even cause more confusion. Also it could be beneficial to in your discussion; actually use the bible itself as a source of evidence. After all, our opinions are not more worthy than the people we try to influence.

I start with lessons on the Bible to establish it as a certifiable tool for learning and sharing ones faith. You may have to back up a bit in these highly secular times and the growth of atheism and agnostics, by first proving the existence of God; then proving that God is Good; and then relate it to bible history. These conversation ought not be scripted; but should have a theme and know the arguments for and against. These are very difficult times led by the example of Bill Clinton, fake catholics like Pleosi, Reed, Biden, Kerry, and then Oboma who advocates killing babies a personal choice; wants same sex “marriage” and has hijacked America’s Religious liberties. So our work is well defined.

Then establish with evidence, the singular church, the Primacy of Peter and so on.

Because of space limits prudently imposed; I’ll stop here and await your response.

Critical to all evangelization efforts is a very strong and committed spiritual life. Pray often and much; especially the Rosary. Attend Mass as often as possible; Daily is best; make “Holy Hours.” Ask and expect God to be with you in these efforts

God Bless,
pat/PJM .

 

[scameter18]

Thank you very much for your response. I actually have tried using the Bible, as well as Church documents, as support and evidence of the Faith in my direct conversations with my sister, and often she seems to agree with them. But they do not seem to compel her into real conversion or attending Mass, and she continues exhibiting some beliefs and attitudes that contradict what she had previously agreed with me about. For example, we will be discussing the gay lifestyle. She will agree with me, if with a sense of reservation, and then later I will see her approve of or like examples of the gay lifestyle in the media or her friends. She does not seem to be specifically unwilling but more dismissive and noncommittal towards the Faith, particularly in its religious aspects.

I especially like your idea of using my open conversations with my father as a way to strengthen her evangelizing process. She is not always involved in the discussions, but even if she is only listening it could help make the Faith more sensible to her. God bless.