Advice for first confession ever

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strings385

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Hi! I’m a convert and currently in the RCIA program at my parish and next month I’ll be making my first confession ever. I’m very nervous about confession still and I was wondering wwhat is the best way to examine my conscience? I’ve been taught about using the 10 Commandments as a guide, but is that really the best ways for me? Also would a general confession be better for me? I’m 28 years old, so I basically have 21 years worth of sins to confess. I’m just afraid of not being able to make a good confession, especially for so long of a time. Also, I’ve been taught that it’s frowned upon to write your sins down and bring them with you, which is making me even more nervous, because I’m afraid I’m going to freeze up and forget everything. Thank you for your help! God bless!
 
strings385 said:
…, I’ve been taught that it’s frowned upon to write your sins down and bring them with you, which is making me even more nervous, because I’m afraid I’m going to freeze up and forget everything. Thank you for your help! God bless!
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Writing down sins and bringing them with you is considered the best method and highly appreciated and encouraged by priests.
 
I use an examination of conscience that I have gotten from online and I also write the sins down so I do not forget. However, one must be careful with these examination of conscience lists as they certainly cannot include every sin out there and they are quite linear in that aspect so a person must really be sure not to use these lists as a definitive guide to sins. If you are ever unsure whether something is a sin or whether it is mortal or venial the best thing to do is ask your confessor. If you have a large list of sins that would significantly hold up a confession line than you should talk to the priest and ask him if you could schedule an appointment for confession so you and others do not have to worry about time. Pray before the Blessed Sacrament before your confession and ask Jesus for the strength and ability to make a good confession. Just take a deep breath and relax, I also went through RCIA years ago and when I was making my first confession I was extremely nervous about the whole thing but the priest(who I still go to confession for)was a great confessor and it ended up being a lot easier than I had expected. You are in my prayers.

God Bless,

Zooman
 
Thats what I thought too, unless it’s just our parish priest. I mean I could understand if I were already Catholic and had beento confession many times already, but thats a long time worth of sins to remember.
 
strings385, yes, your first confession, done as an adult, will be a general confession. The advice I had from an excellent priest, about making a general confession, was to divide your life into 3 parts - the first from first Communion to Confirmation (about 7 years old to 14 or 15); the second from Confirmation to when married; the third from marriage on.

Now, this was for me, a middle-aged woman at the time I was making the general confession. For you, I would say - from about 7 years old to about 14; then from 14 to 21; the third from 21 on. It’s probably easier to think about what things you did wrong in each of those time frames. As others say, there are many good examinations of conscience out there. Just google them and you can get a number. Read them and make note of the sins you remember committing and how frequently - if there are sins you committed frequently, it might be impossible to be able to say exactly how many times. It is perfectly all right to say - I committed XXX about 3 or 4 times a month over a four year period, or something similar to that. That sort of statement tells the priest what he needs to know. Of course, there may be sins that you only ever committed once.

Yes, to note them down. If you are worried about losing the paper or anyone seeing the list, put it in code - something that you will recognize easily, but no one else will.

When you write the list, write the sins that are the most difficult for you to say first. That way you will have much less temptation to hold back. Get the bad ones out and the rest is easy.

Have no fear. You are confessing to Jesus, through the priest.
 
Maybe try to think of a couple broad " sin areas" and then examine each one for specific sins.
Ex. Topic: respect for others. Specific: gossiping, lying, insults, etc.
🤷 that’s what I do to keep track of everything and it helps me to not forget about sins.
 
I was also taught in my RCIA class that most priests now do not mind if you do not name how many times you commited each sin. They don’t need “the shopping list.” lol What is your experience with this?
 
strings385 said:
I was also taught in my RCIA class that most priests now do not mind if you do not name how many times you commited each sin. They don’t need “the shopping list.” lol What is your experience with this?
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For mortal sins you need to state the number or approximate number of times you committed the sin, however you don’t for venial sins.
 
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