Advice for "millenials" who disagree with SSM?

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I’m sure this topic has been addressed before, but a recent occurrence in my own life has got me thinking about this. A friend of my girlfriend’s identifies as homosexual. He is a nice man. Recently, he “married” a man who divorced his wife to pursue a same-sex relationship. The man has a 7-year old daughter. I love our friend but I firmly stand behind the teachings of the Church and reject same-sex “marriage”. As a man under 30 in today’s society I feel my generation is expected to accept the homosexual agenda without question, that we are supposed to be “tolerant” as they say. I wonder if anybody out there has similar experiences or advice in dealing with the issue in my age range (I am 27, say 16-29). It is always extremely hard to go against the current and the homosexual agenda has a retort for any disagreement with their position to make you look like an evil person. I had to put blinders on to some of the shameful things being promoted back when I was in college. I had a friend of mine who was written up when he did not give a standing ovation to a professor giving a speech to the department he was in, in which he proclaimed he was becoming a woman. So I ask my peers, what have you experienced and how do you get through it?
 
Unfortunately, you find out quick who your real friends are. (I’m 28.)

I am very blessed to have found many practicing Catholic friends. Many are moms with young children like I am so I end up spending more time with them. Our parish does have a young adult group that attracts a lot of singles as well.

Among my non-Catholic friends…yep, pretty much alone. The good friends understand and respect that my convictions are deeply held and not the result of stupidity. The bad “friends” dumped me. Mostly, I don’t talk current issues with them and choose to evangelize by example. There have been good discussions. And bad ones.

I’ve learned a LOT about not casting pearls before swine.

God bless you.
 
I’ve had positive experiences with providing support to friends with same-sex attractions when I was in high school and early college, but that was 6-7 years ago before the recent explosion in acceptance of homosexuality and gender-identity issues. Recenty I have tried to focus entirely on my own experiences of having a great set of parents comprising a mother and father and how I can’t imagine the government or anyone else saying that I as a child didn’t have a right to that. With today’s laws, one of my parents could have decided to pursue a same-sex relationship and I would have been robbed of that great experience. I state that I am fighting for each child to have that experience and oppose anything that goes agaiant that including no-fault divorce, poverty, death of a parent, abusive parents, and other barriers to this ideal including the legalization of same-sex marriage. This is the only point I have been able to make without rejection or indications that I was a bigot. The people I know who have seen the family environment I was raised in tend to better understand my point.
 
I haven’t personally experienced anything like you’re talking about, but this goes even beyond just SSM.

A friend from my young adult group came to the Church because of another girl. That other girl is now living with her boyfriend, and my friend has made the decision not to hang out with them as a couple, especially at their home. This has put them into conflict on multiple occasions. Recently, the other girl actually blocked my friend on Facebook because of their disagreement.

Most of what I experience is dealing with friends who call themselves Catholic but post pro-ssm posts. When I tell them their posts are in conflict with the Church, I get called names or told to mind my own business or some other dismissive response.

I once had a person who was one of the leaders in the first Newman Center I was part of in college post some ridiculous meme comparing cakes for SSM with selling a gun to someone who commits a murder. #facepalm
 
I haven’t personally experienced anything like you’re talking about, but this goes even beyond just SSM.

A friend from my young adult group came to the Church because of another girl. That other girl is now living with her boyfriend, and my friend has made the decision not to hang out with them as a couple, especially at their home. This has put them into conflict on multiple occasions. Recently, the other girl actually blocked my friend on Facebook because of their disagreement.

Most of what I experience is dealing with friends who call themselves Catholic but post pro-ssm posts. When I tell them their posts are in conflict with the Church, I get called names or told to mind my own business or some other dismissive response.

I once had a person who was one of the leaders in the first Newman Center I was part of in college post some ridiculous meme comparing cakes for SSM with selling a gun to someone who commits a murder. #facepalm
It is a difficult situation. We have gone from making women who became pregnant outside of marriage or persons who divorced made into virtual pariahs–the bad on one extreme–all the way to having Catholic parishes disobediently marching in parades supporting illicit sexual relationships–the bad on the other extreme.

Even the Magisterium is having difficulty with how to handle the pastoral situation of people who have made families and a family life within an illicit relationship or a marriage invalidly attempted because one of the spouses has a prior spouse still living. Of course there is the same problem with children whose parents live in a same-sex union and arranged to have the child conceived outside of marriage. It isn’t the child’s fault, and yet the relationship of the parents is objectively immoral. As for the parents, even if they wanted to do it many could no more go back to a common conjugal life with their original spouses than they could flap their wings and fly to the moon. The homosexual person who conceived a child by use of a surrogate or gamete donor of the opposite sex could not live as husband and wife with the other biological parent if they wanted to, either. How can this kind of a situation be handled?
 
“CatholicHockey7”, I see from your post heading that we are in the same neck of the woods (WNY). Are you in my diocese (Buffalo)?
 
the homosexual agenda has a retort for any disagreement with their position to make you look like an evil person.
Without knowing all the details of your situation, my first instinct is to just say your situation is not unique to millennials. That being said, what I quoted from you above seems to be at the heart of the matter. Your accusers abandon the topic to attack you personally. In any discussion, it is vital to stay on topic. In this case, what constitutes a “marriage”? If only a man and woman, why? If whatever we feeling like saying it is, on what grounds does that assertion stand? The gay “marriage” movement, as far as I can tell after reading a plethora of articles and hearing its defenders pontificate, is founded on emotion. The words “equality” or “tolerance” or whatever are tossed about, not to formulate a sound defense of the doctrine, but to intimidate and silence all opponents who do not kneel before the altar of propaganda. My advice is to keep an even temper and stay on topic. And walk away from anyone who forbids you to do that.

If you find yourself having to say, “Regardless of whatever name you want to call me or buzz words you want to toss about, I think it is reasonable to consider a marriage to consist of a man and woman. It is the natural and self-evident building block of a stable society. I don’t think the gay ‘marriage’ movement stands on ground any firmer than the emotional moods of its supporters.”
 
What percentage of the population are we talking about who are homosexual? Why are they getting all this attention?
 
I’m sure this topic has been addressed before, but a recent occurrence in my own life has got me thinking about this. A friend of my girlfriend’s identifies as homosexual. He is a nice man. Recently, he “married” a man who divorced his wife to pursue a same-sex relationship. The man has a 7-year old daughter. I love our friend but I firmly stand behind the teachings of the Church and reject same-sex “marriage”. As a man under 30 in today’s society I feel my generation is expected to accept the homosexual agenda without question, that we are supposed to be “tolerant” as they say. I wonder if anybody out there has similar experiences or advice in dealing with the issue in my age range (I am 27, say 16-29). It is always extremely hard to go against the current and the homosexual agenda has a retort for any disagreement with their position to make you look like an evil person. I had to put blinders on to some of the shameful things being promoted back when I was in college. I had a friend of mine who was written up when he did not give a standing ovation to a professor giving a speech to the department he was in, in which he proclaimed he was becoming a woman. So I ask my peers, what have you experienced and how do you get through it?
A couple of things I want to note.

First of all, in my experience, it’s GLBTQ persons who are calm and rational about discussing so-called gay “marriage” than straights. If you go on any average blog (no, I am not talking about CAF) you will find that most if not ALL of the people on there REALLY pushing the agenda and calling people hateful bigots are actually straights.

Secondly, if you’re asking about if you have an obligation to correct people’s behavior, I’m going to have to refer to your Confessor and to read up on fraternal correction. For the average person, though, it seems rarely an obligation under mortal sin.

Third, the results of non-biological parents raising kids in all kinds of different scenarios are going to be harder to ignore. There will no doubt be more yelling and screaming from the other side over this, especially since now that they think they have the power (but evidently some would hand it over to Islam in a second), and expect more “peer-reviewed” studies that show all these relationships are equal.

But those cultures and societies that maintain natural law will have a decisive advantage over those who do not.

Fourth, I’m sure we’ll keep hearing about everyone in our generation agrees with so-called gay “marriage” and eventually the whole planet will.

I can’t even begin to tell you what an unlikely scenario that is.

The same political correctness in the West that promotes so-called gay “marriage” will be its undoing.

In fact, many of the same voices that support so-called gay “marriage” are championing how the demographics are changing, but a key part of those demographics are even more against so-called gay “marriage” than the native population has been for decades.

Finally, if you are going to be a Faithful Catholic, there will be times of persecution, even by other Catholics and Christians.

But I think there’s more people out there than you may think that disagree with so-called gay “marriage” and won’t be changing their minds anytime soon.
I had a friend of mine who was written up when he did not give a standing ovation to a professor giving a speech to the department he was in, in which he proclaimed he was becoming a woman. So I ask my peers, what have you experienced and how do you get through it?
If I were your friend, I would consider legal action against the department.
 
What percentage of the population are we talking about who are homosexual? Why are they getting all this attention?
GLBTQ persons are being used in certain ways by those with a secular agenda that isn’t really out for their best interests.

For one thing, a lot of people want to look good and :cool: in front others who are different, namely to let them know that even though they realize their Catholicism and Christianity may make them look backwards to some secularists, they can wink and nod that they disagree with Catholic teaching on so-called gay “marriage”.

I’ve also found that those who need all kinds of third-party attention in their personal, romantic relationships lack security and/or stability. :yup:
 
I’ve had positive experiences with providing support to friends with same-sex attractions when I was in high school and early college, but that was 6-7 years ago before the recent explosion in acceptance of homosexuality and gender-identity issues. Recenty I have tried to focus entirely on my own experiences of having a great set of parents comprising a mother and father and how I can’t imagine the government or anyone else saying that I as a child didn’t have a right to that. With today’s laws, one of my parents could have decided to pursue a same-sex relationship and I would have been robbed of that great experience. I state that I am fighting for each child to have that experience and oppose anything that goes agaiant that including no-fault divorce, poverty, death of a parent, abusive parents, and other barriers to this ideal including the legalization of same-sex marriage. This is the only point I have been able to make without rejection or indications that I was a bigot. The people I know who have seen the family environment I was raised in tend to better understand my point.
What a wonderful way to make your point.
Mary
 
I think it’s a very good thing to love people and be true friends to them. Politeness dictates that you not bring up “uncomfortable” truths all the time, but we do not lie to our friends. I’d say to just be loving and helpful, a really good friend. Along the way, where appropriate, mention the beauty of the Catholic view if marriage and why you believe it (not in a preachy/instructive way, perhaps in the context of speaking about your OWN marriage. (When the topic of SSM comes up (let’s face it, this isn’t an “if”), simply explain why it doesn’t fit with what matrimony really is, and talk about motherless/fatherless children.

It might not change minds completely, but I’ve found that this approach works to show even pretty revolutionary people that the Church isn’t just some big meanie doing things out of spite. (It probably helps if they think of you, a Catholic and the representative of the Church in their eyes, as a compassionate person).
 
I have. A persons said that my brother was the “victim” in our relationship because I did not support same-sex “marriage” and that I was withholding his rights, and that I was a disgrace to the country (as if this person was so patriotic before :rolleyes:).

Disagreeing with SSM when you’re under 35 is basically being a Nazi or a KKK member in the eyes of those who do support same-sex “marriage.”

Good luck if you’re entering university at an elite institution like Swarthmore, Amherst, Oberlin or Brown if you hold those views. It’s not that supporting traditional morals are thoroughly rebuked (they aren’t and never were) by fellow students and professors, but I mention “good luck” because such an issue and beliefs are usually not given much respect if, at any, for a sound discussion.

As one Oberlin student said, “Abortion, contraception and homosexuality are not up to debate,” when a prospective student majoring in theater who held some conservative views asked about campus political climate.

I will say this: Millennials who do not support same-sex “marriage” (and other social issues like abortion, contraception, sex outside of marriage) will be looked as as backwards and ignorant. Secularism is its own religion and said issues are part of its Catechism.
 
I once had a person who was one of the leaders in the first Newman Center I was part of in college post some ridiculous meme comparing cakes for SSM with selling a gun to someone who commits a murder. #facepalm
This is usual response of those who support ss"m." I will say that those that are in opposition also tend to not put forth strong arguments to combat pathetic memes that get thousands of hits on tumlr, twitter, instagram and facebook. They don’t go beyond the “homosexuality is bad and sex is for procreation.” They don’t explain why same-sex acts are harmful and why sex outside of marriage and sex with contraception is harmful. It takes reflection, time and much reading to put up a stance, but it’s much more sound when it’s done the right way.
 
First of all, in my experience, it’s GLBTQ persons who are calm and rational about discussing so-called gay “marriage” than straights. If you go on any average blog (no, I am not talking about CAF) you will find that most if not ALL of the people on there REALLY pushing the agenda and calling people hateful bigots are actually straights.
This has been my experience too. I am not as close to some of my gay friends as I used to be, which was probably inevitable considering that our lives are very, very different, but they know that my views on moral issues have nothing to do with thinking they are yucky or bad people. They do know that I wish they would stop sinning, but they also know that I don’t single them out. I refuse to make it personal or about shaming. If someone asks me directly about their personal situation I might say something, but I figure I can plant a seed much more effectively when I don’t make it personal, which encourages defenses to go up.
 
I’m sure this topic has been addressed before, but a recent occurrence in my own life has got me thinking about this. A friend of my girlfriend’s identifies as homosexual. He is a nice man. Recently, he “married” a man who divorced his wife to pursue a same-sex relationship. The man has a 7-year old daughter. I love our friend but I firmly stand behind the teachings of the Church and reject same-sex “marriage”. As a man under 30 in today’s society I feel my generation is expected to accept the homosexual agenda without question, that we are supposed to be “tolerant” as they say. I wonder if anybody out there has similar experiences or advice in dealing with the issue in my age range (I am 27, say 16-29). It is always extremely hard to go against the current and the homosexual agenda has a retort for any disagreement with their position to make you look like an evil person. I had to put blinders on to some of the shameful things being promoted back when I was in college. I had a friend of mine who was written up when he did not give a standing ovation to a professor giving a speech to the department he was in, in which he proclaimed he was becoming a woman. So I ask my peers, what have you experienced and how do you get through it?
I don’t understand your dilemma. What is that you have to accept about your friend’s friend? If your friend is trying to get you to be more than courteous to him then part ways with your friend. Nothing further needs to be said.
 
That situation was just the catalyst that got me thinking about how people my age tend to be treated when they publicly oppose same-sex so called “marriage”
 
This has been my experience too. I am not as close to some of my gay friends as I used to be, which was probably inevitable considering that our lives are very, very different, but they know that my views on moral issues have nothing to do with thinking they are yucky or bad people. They do know that I wish they would stop sinning, but they also know that I don’t single them out. I refuse to make it personal or about shaming. If someone asks me directly about their personal situation I might say something, but I figure I can plant a seed much more effectively when I don’t make it personal, which encourages defenses to go up.
Ditto. Oddly enough, I was one of the first people to whom two of my gay friends “came out.” When they asked me directly what I believed, I explained, briefly, the Church’s teachings on homosexuality: that that type of attraction is a cross to bear, just as temptations to other sorts of sins are crosses that we all bear, that it has nothing whatsoever to do with their value as a person, and that it is absolutely not sinful to have those temptations, only to act on them, and, lastly, that insofar as our relationship, nothing had changed, and I still cared about them and considered them friends as I had before.

One in particular was genuinely shocked by hearing the Church’s teaching on homosexuality; he’d grown up in a strict Protestant environment, and had been told all his life that even to be tempted like that was itself a sin, and that only bad people were “like that.” I have hopes that he may someday become Catholic himself, though who knows?

As to the rest…I have several straight friends who disagree with me on the subject of homosexual “marriage.” I’ve discussed my views with some of them; with others, we’ve tabled the subject. However, a good friend is willing to listen and to know your heart. Those of my friends who think that SSM is equivalent to the battle for civil rights know that I am not a bigot because they’ve taken the time to listen to my beliefs on the subject, and they’ve seen through my actions that I genuinely care for our mutual friends who are acting on their homosexual inclinations. If someone’s reaction to my believing as the Church teaches was to scream nasty comments at me, they’d hardly be my friend in the first place.
 
What percentage of the population are we talking about who are homosexual? Why are they getting all this attention?
A survey from the Center for Disease Control indicated not more than 1.7% of our population fall into the LGBT category. An article linked in another thread indicated that those in Academia, our Judicial system, and the media have been the main “pushers” of the SSM agenda. Legitimate debates are not desirable.

OP

Though your opinions may be more rage amongst millennia’s, most of us traditional marriage believers have also experienced the personal attacks. All I can suggest is to speak from a position of love from your heart. If nothing else, you’ve planted the seed.

God Bless You.
 
I .
Good luck if you’re entering university at an elite institution like Swarthmore, Amherst, Oberlin or Brown if you hold those views. It’s not that supporting traditional morals are thoroughly rebuked (they aren’t and never were) by fellow students and professors, but I mention “good luck” because such an issue and beliefs are usually not given much respect if, at any, for a sound discussion.

As one Oberlin student said, “Abortion, contraception and homosexuality are not up to debate,” when a prospective student majoring in theater who held some conservative views asked about campus political climate.

I will say this: Millennials who do not support same-sex “marriage” (and other social issues like abortion, contraception, sex outside of marriage) will be looked as as backwards and ignorant. Secularism is its own religion and said issues are part of its Catechism.
I’m an Oberlin grad; I remember marching in NY to support Martin Luther King, and meeting him when he visited Oberlin.
The institution has changed a lot. Rumor has it that traditional morals are thoroughly rebuked; one of the professors I respect most was hounded out of the school. I can’t support it any more, which is sad.
It used to be a place where you could debate any position, but it seems like unless you toe the party line, forget it.

.
 
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