Advice for my friend?

[GuibertOfNogent]

My friend was raised a protestant. (Just to be clear, I still am one, though leaning toward Rome myself …). She is now wanting to join the Catholic church. She is not, however, joining because she has been pouring over theology or thinking about the issues.

To be frank, she’s fallen in love with a Catholic man and is willing to convert to Catholicism as well as obey the Catholic Church, even in issues that she does not yet fully believe or understand. She is in RCIA - has been for a while. The woman who leads RCIA, however, has blocked her attempt to join the Church and refuses to allow her to continue further beyond RCIA. The woman’s reason is that she believes my friend is becoming a Catholic only in order to marry her fiance, not because she truly believes in Catholicism.

Of course, I don’t truly know the heart and mind of my friend, but I confess that I believe that this IS generally the case. However, my friend is willing to obey all that she does not yet believe. She wants to have children and raise them as Catholics.

What advice should I give her? Is the woman leading RCIA correct in blocking her admission to the Church?

Keep her in your prayers!

Guibert

 

[ProudArmyWife]

I understand where your friend is coming from. I started RCIA in three different places (due to military moves, though) - some programs are better than others, some well-meaning people go astray.

The first RCIA I attended, I was still learning and was appauld that the head lady, who rarely even made attempts to get to know me, was asking very personal questions about my fiance’s and my relationship. I was furious and almost left the whole process. I called my future mother-in-law (my fiance was overseas) to ask her about this. She was even upset and consulted with her priest - and other priests that were friends of the family. They all said that this lady, while well meaning, did not have the place to discuss these things with me - at least without getting to know me first.

I guess my point is tell her to keep learning and don’t give up - and to talk to a priest about her concerns (I had a hard time trusting the lady after this because I felt she was judging me all the time)He may agree or he may not agree with what the RCIA people said. Either way your friend will know what needs to be further understood before committing to the Church.

 

[catsrus]

OTOH, the R.C.I.A. director may may well have perceived that your friend is not really interested in The Church itself beyond pleasing a boyfriend who may or may not be around later. Then what?
I was in R.C.I.A. with a couple people who admitted they were there only to please a Catholic significant other. When the subject of ABC came up, both blew off the entire discussion with a “what a waste of time, THAT doesn’t work!” They intimated often that they just wanted to get through the process and get married. Worse, the Religious in charge of the process, admitted them both to the sacraments, though neither of their attitudes towards doctrine and dogma ever changed. They both stood and professed to belief in all The Catholic Church teaches, though most of the rest of us knew they were lying by comments they had made throughout the entire R.C.I.A. process. (Maybe God knows something different…we only knew what they had imparted to us as a group) After they were married in The Church, no one saw either of them, nor the boyfriend/husbands at Mass again. (Maybe both couples, who were not particularly friends, attended elsewhere…noone knows.)
In the interests of The Church, if I was instructing R.C.I.A., I would be very careful during the question/answer/discernment period prior to confirmation.