Advice for this problem?

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Psj283

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Hello everyone. I just joined Catholic Forums today because I had an important question… I am also looking for some advice… Thank you for clicking on this and God bless you. It makes me feel good there are so many righteous people in the world striving for God’s love…

But anyway, I am a 15 year old boy who is trying to get closer to God. I started my “journey” probably about a year ago when I was in 8th grade. I think God opened my eyes last year, because I started to see things differently. I started to see how important God and family are in our lives…

But soon, 8th grade ended, and my summer went by like a lightening strike :o… I started high school at a great all-boys Catholic school where we have religious monks on campus. As my year is coming to a close though, I recently committed a bad sin.

That sin is masturbation… Before high school started, I can honestly say I did not really know what it was. I had heard people talking about it, but I knew it was a sin… However, that changed in high school. My friends… well, I thought they were my friends, always bothered me about it because they knew I was a “strong” Catholic.

Even though I have only committed the sin once, I know it is necessary for me to go to confession as soon as possible… However, I need advice for my “friends” who have done it and make fun of me for it because I am against it…

I think I need some advice for myself and them… Believe me, I am no saint, but I want to help them… Also, do you believe it is alright for me to receive Holy Communion this week. I have heard differing stories about the sin and whether or not it is justified to receive Holy Communion with it on your soul. My brother, who received the Holy Spirit last night in the sacrament of Confirmation, told me the advice the priest gave him about his masturbation problem. He said the priest suggested it is not a mortal sin… Do you think he was referring to just my brother’s case or to everyone else’s as well?.. I guess I feel like since I have done it once, could I receive Holy Communion as a strengthening, or do you recommend me confessing it. I am only nervous because I do not want my parents to know. They are amazing parents who care deeply about us, and I do not want them to feel like they have failed…

Thank you for reading this. Please pray not just for me, but for all victims of this deadly sin. Together, I believe we can conquer it - not by free will alone, but by God’s love.
 
Go to confession as soon as you can.

The priest will give you the best advice for your situation.

No one is going to say it is right here, on the other hand no-one here can say outside of the confessional whether you are in a state of mortal sin, because there are various conditions you have to satisfy in order for something to be gravely sinful:

Grave matter
Knowledge that it was a grave matter
Freely committed the sin

80% of men admit to struggling with this at some time in their life. The rest are lying 😉

Talk to a priest: he won’t be shocked or embarrassed, nor will he look down on you or despise you.
 
Psj283 said:
Hello everyone. I just joined Catholic Forums today because I had an important question… I am also looking for some advice… Thank you for clicking on this and God bless you. It makes me feel good there are so many righteous people in the world striving for God’s love…

But anyway, I am a 15 year old boy who is trying to get closer to God. I started my “journey” probably about a year ago when I was in 8th grade. I think God opened my eyes last year, because I started to see things differently. I started to see how important God and family are in our lives…

But soon, 8th grade ended, and my summer went by like a lightening strike :o… I started high school at a great all-boys Catholic school where we have religious monks on campus. As my year is coming to a close though, I recently committed a bad sin.

That sin is masturbation… Before high school started, I can honestly say I did not really know what it was. I had heard people talking about it, but I knew it was a sin… However, that changed in high school. My friends… well, I thought they were my friends, always bothered me about it because they knew I was a “strong” Catholic.

Even though I have only committed the sin once, I know it is necessary for me to go to confession as soon as possible… However, I need advice for my “friends” who have done it and make fun of me for it because I am against it…

I think I need some advice for myself and them… Believe me, I am no saint, but I want to help them… Also, do you believe it is alright for me to receive Holy Communion this week. I have heard differing stories about the sin and whether or not it is justified to receive Holy Communion with it on your soul. My brother, who received the Holy Spirit last night in the sacrament of Confirmation, told me the advice the priest gave him about his masturbation problem. He said the priest suggested it is not a mortal sin… Do you think he was referring to just my brother’s case or to everyone else’s as well?.. I guess I feel like since I have done it once, could I receive Holy Communion as a strengthening, or do you recommend me confessing it. I am only nervous because I do not want my parents to know. They are amazing parents who care deeply about us, and I do not want them to feel like they have failed…

Thank you for reading this. Please pray not just for me, but for all victims of this deadly sin. Together, I believe we can conquer it - not by free will alone, but by God’s love.
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Go to confession and make a sincere confession. It is a mortal sin. Don’t take communion until you confess. Pray for Gods graces and allow them into your life for help with your problem… Good luck. I will pray for you. :signofcross:
 
Much can be said on this subject, I suppose.

Yet, I believe that the most effective remedy is not so much to fight this sin directly. Rather, the solution seems to be to replace this activity, this interest, this pleasure, with activities, and pleasures and interests that are MUCH MORE REWARDING than sexual self pleasuring.

In the big picture, sexual self pleasuring is rather paltry, minor, pathetic little pleasure. It’s a big waste of time.

Find other ways to feel better. Sex is a great pleasure, and can be very meaningful, in the committed relationship called marriage. But outside of that, sex is a fleeting, minor pleasure that only leaves you empty. Do you think Hugh Hefner (founder of the first major porno magazine), who had lots of sex with all sorts of women, feels proud of his life now, and fulfilled. I am certain that he does not. I am certain that he sees how pathetic and pointless his life is. Yes, he enjoys his fame and wealth. But that doesn’t fight off the persistent nagging feeling that he has that, compared to truly important men of his era, he has spend the time of his life on trivialities.

Find alternative pleasures to the one in question. Find what feels good to you. It could be things such as:
–Cultivating friendships
–Volunteering to help the truly worthy
–Reading the Bible
–Reading great literature
–Physical exercise
–Join an adult soccer league
–Martial arts training

Recall St. Augustine’s famous prayer: “Grant me chastity and continence, but not yet.” He has a mistress/girlfriend with whom he had a child. He struggled to give up his sinful relationship. Yet, in time, he did, and ended up being a saint.

Best wishes!
 
It’s a grave matter certainly, but we don’t know the state of the OP’s mind when he committed the sin.
 
First off I would like to tell you that just because all of your “friends” are pressuring you about this, don’t give in! You know what is right, and that is to love God and to follow his commandments. Pray for the blessings and graces to be someone that your friends can look up to, if they see that you are weak in this area, they will continue to be against you. Show them that you are stronger than them and that they have no power over you. Believe in your faith and set that good example that they need to see and follow. It won’t make much sense now as you are still in adolescence. Once you get out of high school you will realize that their opinions don’t matter and the only opinion that does matter is Jesus opinion. God bless and remain firm in your beliefs! Many at your age are discovering their sexuality in unhealthy ways, ways that the world are pressuring onto our youth. Just remember that you know the truth and the truth will set you free! Stay strong friend
 
Firstly, it’s great that you take your faith seriously and are determined not to fall into this particular sin. Well done.

Secondly, in this instance I suggest you do seek confession before receiving Eucharist again. While no one here can tell you that you are in a state of mortal sin, it is important to discuss this with a confessor, who is the appropriate person for such a conversation. You can certainly ask his advise about whether or not to receive the Eucharist if you commit this sin again and whether you will need confession of each instance or not. In your case, since the sin is not habitual, it may be wise to confess each occasion in order to keep yourself accountable, but that’s really between you and your confessor.

Thirdly, how stange that your friends discuss this with you. I have never discussed such an issue with…well, anyone, other than confessors. Just ignore them and refuse to enter into such a discussion. If they know your position on it, that is the best witness that you can provide them, and you really don’t need to talk about it further.
 
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