Advice from Protestant's and Catholic's please

[Protestant_Me]

I need some advice. My fiance was raised as a devout Catholic. His faith is waivering I guess is what I would call it. I am Protestant and I don’t completely agree with how the Church does everything, but I don’t want him to lose faith in God. I won’t make him stick to his Catholic faith if he does not wish too, but I also will not ask him to convert to mine either, I just ask he remain faithful to God. What can I do to help him with this dilemma?

                                Thank you for the advice,
                                 Have a blessed day everyone!
                                   Protestant Me.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

I need some advice. My fiance was raised as a devout Catholic. His faith is waivering I guess is what I would call it. I am Protestant and I don’t completely agree with how the Church does everything, but I don’t want him to lose faith in God. I won’t make him stick to his Catholic faith if he does not wish too, but I also will not ask him to convert to mine either, I just ask he remain faithful to God. What can I do to help him with this dilemma?

                                Thank you for the advice,
                                 Have a blessed day everyone!
                                   Protestant Me.

First and foremost, pray for him.

Second, find out why he’s losing his faith.

Third, try to pray together and seek that you both remain Christ Centered, regardless of the religion you end up in.

Faith comes from God, it is his gift to us. All we can do is be open to faith, we can’t force it on ourselves or anyone else.

Jim

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

I agree with the above: try and find out what is causing this spiritual crisis. Talk about it. Praying together will help, because people often need encouragement, someone to lead them in the right direction when they are stuck.

 

[anruari]

You have not given any indication as to what is causing his fall in faith.

As others have suggested praying together could help. I think it was C.S. Lewis who said that if a man acts like he believes for one year, by the end of that time he will have a firm and unshakable belief.
Unfortunately the same is very true in reverse: When you stop acting like God is the centre of your life your faith will (has) inevitably start(ed) to wane.
Compare the word “Faith” which we commonly treat as synonymous with “belief” to the word “Faithful” - You need to be faithful to God in a greater way than you are Faithful to your spouse - as God is infinitely greater than his created children.

Last Advent My wife & I started praying the Liturgy Of the Hours - for us we typically pray either Morining or Evening prayer, though if we miss that we will say Night Prayer together.

We have found this form of praying together to be amazing in it’s riches. - The prayers follow the book of Psalms, and a series of old and new testament canticles which are gradually all prayed over a 4 week period. There is also a Gospel Canticle prayed at each of the 3 hours I named. There is also a short (1 - 2 verses) reading, and some intersessions

There is nothing (or very little) in this form of prayer which is likely to point out doctrinal differences between the Catholic faith and your protestant one.

It incorporates all three forms of common prayer: Praise(& worship), Contemplation, and supplication (intersession).

this is version my wife & I use, but it’s the UK version so is more expensive on the other side of the pond - there are US version that are cheaper for you

Morning & Evening Prayer

There’s an entire section of this forum dedicated to this form of prayer that also provides links to free web-based resources.

 

[Bob_Crowley]

I need some advice. My fiance was raised as a devout Catholic. His faith is waivering I guess is what I would call it. I am Protestant and I don’t completely agree with how the Church does everything, but I don’t want him to lose faith in God. I won’t make him stick to his Catholic faith if he does not wish too, but I also will not ask him to convert to mine either, I just ask he remain faithful to God. What can I do to help him with this dilemma?

                                Thank you for the advice,
                                 Have a blessed day everyone!
                                   Protestant Me.

I’m not sure if my thoughts are going to be much use, but here goes. I’m Catholic and my wife is Protestant. However we were both Protestant when we married, so I know the sorts of issues that a Protestant / Catholic relationship might entail.

That said, is your fiance’s faith wavering in God, or the Catholic Church, or both? If it’s the Catholic Church, then his experience with your Protestant church might be having an effect. If that’s the case, then to be fair, you ought to attend mass as often as he attends your church. It doesn’t hurt to touch base with both sides of the Great Divide.

But if his faith is wavering in God, that’s a different issue, and a far more difficult one. You could find yourself married to an unbeliever if it keeps going.

In our case, my wife is the more consistent Christian in some ways, althougth she doesn’t go to my Catholic mass (I try to go to her church monthly for family reasons). That’s not because my faith is wavering, but I have reasons for being a bit cranky with God - in my opinion anyway. There’s no way though that I can deny He exists - I’ve had too many direct spiritual experiences for that.

So our situation is not the same as yours.

In a nutshell, if his faith is wavering in the Catholic Church, then you could help by learning a bit more about the Catholic Church and not just believing everything that Protestantism teaches about it, which is often plain wrong. But if he decided to go Protestant due to your influence, which is a possibility, then I’d be less concerned about that than I would about a loss of faith in God altogether.

But if his faith is wavering in God, then you’ve got a real problem. My suggestion, for what it’s worth, is that you ask God to give your fiance a real sense of His presence in some way or another.

 

[JRKH]

I need some advice. My fiance was raised as a devout Catholic. His faith is wavering I guess is what I would call it. I am Protestant and I don’t completely agree with how the Church does everything, but I don’t want him to lose faith in God. I won’t make him stick to his Catholic faith if he does not wish too, but I also will not ask him to convert to mine either, I just ask he remain faithful to God. What can I do to help him with this dilemma?

                                Thank you for the advice,
                                 Have a blessed day everyone!
                                   Protestant Me.

Based solely on what you have written it appears that his faith is wavering on a deeper level than simply in the form of Christianity (Catholic v Protestant). I say this because you declare above that you do not want him to lose faith in God.

Certainly the fact that you are of different faith traditions can cause some issues and difficulties in communication. Where these might be issues, I suggest that you embark on a study of the Catholic faith so as to gain an understanding of a) what the faith actually teaches (there is a lot of misconception out there) and b) Why the Church teaches thus and what the benefits are. To do this you need to set aside your personal “disagreements” with the Church so you can better understand and help him.
Of course such an effort takes many years - which you do not have if you wish to help your fiance so as a shortcut you can bring specific questions here to CAF and rest assured of getting good sound answers from the good folks here.

But even more basic than this is the need to seek out the why’s of the wavering and address the specific issues. Often times there are common themes to ones doubts, the condition of the world, personal tragedy (how can a loving God…) mixed signals in teaching, bad experiences with sinful people within one’s given faith tradition etc…
These can all cause one to doubt. If the doubts are caught and addressed early, they can often be minimized. If allowed to fester they can lead to disaster.

As others have said, begin with prayer. Ask the Holy Spirit for Guidance.
Follow this up with Loving discussion with your loved one.
Begin the faith journey anew with him and begin with “Love”, which is the greatest commandment (Mt 22:36-40) and is the very essence and nature of God (…God is Love (1 John 4:8).
Beginning the conversation from the position of God’s Love, will allow you build the truest faith together.

If you would like to share any further details with us, please do feel free, and we will try to provide good answers.

Peace
James

 

[Protestant_Me]

I’m not sure if my thoughts are going to be much use, but here goes. I’m Catholic and my wife is Protestant. However we were both Protestant when we married, so I know the sorts of issues that a Protestant / Catholic relationship might entail.

That said, is your fiance’s faith wavering in God, or the Catholic Church, or both? If it’s the Catholic Church, then his experience with your Protestant church might be having an effect. If that’s the case, then to be fair, you ought to attend mass as often as he attends your church. It doesn’t hurt to touch base with both sides of the Great Divide.

But if his faith is wavering in God, that’s a different issue, and a far more difficult one. You could find yourself married to an unbeliever if it keeps going.

In our case, my wife is the more consistent Christian in some ways, althougth she doesn’t go to my Catholic mass (I try to go to her church monthly for family reasons). That’s not because my faith is wavering, but I have reasons for being a bit cranky with God - in my opinion anyway. There’s no way though that I can deny He exists - I’ve had too many direct spiritual experiences for that.

So our situation is not the same as yours.

In a nutshell, if his faith is wavering in the Catholic Church, then you could help by learning a bit more about the Catholic Church and not just believing everything that Protestantism teaches about it, which is often plain wrong. But if he decided to go Protestant due to your influence, which is a possibility, then I’d be less concerned about that than I would about a loss of faith in God altogether.

But if his faith is wavering in God, then you’ve got a real problem. My suggestion, for what it’s worth, is that you ask God to give your fiance a real sense of His presence in some way or another.

He has never attended my Methodist church. I have attended Mass a few times so I do know something about his religious beliefs. I read lots of informative websites and links from CAF in particular. So it is not my belief that is causing him to wane from his own. I appreciate the advice and I will pray more with him. Thank you.