Advice in losing weight

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oremosjuntos

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Good evening all,

Right about this moment I had my mother call me fat since I’ve gained some considerable weight going into college. She’s always yelling at me when something goes wrong. It makes me feel like a slob every time it’s brought up. I’m the type to despise people who tell me what to do, and it’s very unhealthy. I wish I could tell her we should take a different approach to this whole situation involving our whole family, to pray on it more, etc. It seems like we never put our faith in this and only are quick to criticize anything with each other or ourselves I’ve had high triglycerides and high LDL cholesterol, and I only want to lose weight for health reasons and the fact I feel a lot more comfortable and confident when I do. I actually like working out and riding my bike (more than hitting a gym) for long periods of time. I do have a bad habit of snacking and I have to cut the carbs, but when I’m constantly shamed because of my weight I really lose my focus and I just want to tell my mother that but I’m sure she’ll never understand and she’ll keep doing the same thing anyway.

Thanks for your responses in advance,

Juan S.
 
I have achieved substantial weight loss, but for me the big trigger was dealing with all the underlying stuff that caused the overeating. That was very scary and stressful, but also worth it.

Some possible resources:
  • a dietician or nutritionist
  • a licensed counselor, perhaps one specializing in eating disorders or addictive behaviors
  • Overeaters Anonymous
Some lifestyle changes:
  • Food journaling, either on paper or using a website (MyFitnessPal is a common one that is pretty good)
    -Having a routine that gives you enough time for sleep, food prep, and eating, regular exercise, and other self-care
  • Yes to prayer. Big time. Be vulnerable to God’s love for you.
The family situation is really the main thing, though. Do you live with your mom?
 
oremosjuntos said:
Good evening all,

Right about this moment I had my mother call me fat since I’ve gained some considerable weight going into college. She’s always yelling at me when something goes wrong. It makes me feel like a slob every time it’s brought up. I’m the type to despise people who tell me what to do, and it’s very unhealthy. I wish I could tell her we should take a different approach to this whole situation involving our whole family, to pray on it more, etc. It seems like we never put our faith in this and only are quick to criticize anything with each other or ourselves I’ve had high triglycerides and high LDL cholesterol, and I only want to lose weight for health reasons and the fact I feel a lot more comfortable and confident when I do. I actually like working out and riding my bike (more than hitting a gym) for long periods of time. I do have a bad habit of snacking and I have to cut the carbs, but when I’m constantly shamed because of my weight I really lose my focus and I just want to tell my mother that but I’m sure she’ll never understand and she’ll keep doing the same thing anyway.

Thanks for your responses in advance,

Juan S.
Click to expand...
that depends on wha tyou mean by “overweight”

simply being “200 lbs” on a scale, does not automatically mean unhealthiness.

it depends on body composition. and weight loss programs can be way overhyped sometimes.

and it depends on peoples idea of “fat”. many parents criticize even a little bit of chubbiness as if the person were morbidly obese, which is simply not the same thing.

eat balanced meals, cut down on processed foods. exercise, keep alcohol to a moderate amount
 
I lost over 120 pounds when I was a teenager. Diet and exercise together are better than just one or the other. Do not starve yourself and resist the urge to starve yourself for faster results. All you will do is slow down your metabolism a lot and when you commence eating normally you will gain everything back and probably more

. You should find out roughly how many calories you need a day (there are calculators online that can help you do this) then you cut those calories down. I recommend calorie counting if you have never tried to lose a substantial amount of weight before because sometimes foods can be deceiving in how many calories contained in a portion. After you get the gist of how much of what is in what foods, you do not need to be as strict with counting calories because you will already have a rough idea of what you can eat and still get results.

Weight training with cardio is better than just cardio. Having muscle tone will make you look less fat better than losing weight alone. Some skinny people still look fat because they have no muscle either. Also, as a man, you will just look better if you widen your shoulders a little. I have a thick waistline even at my skinniest. But I balance it out because, thank God, I also have pretty wide shoulders naturally. And weight training has gotten them even wider, creating the illusion of a smaller waist.

Do cardio for at least 30 minuets, maybe a hour if you are on a bike. Biking does not burn as many calories as jogging. But of course you need to work your way up to being able to jog 30 minuets if you are not use to it. So do it gradually. So many people walk into a gym and walk on a treadmill for 20 minuets and they think that is good enough. It is not. You will burn like 100-150 calories. You want to be burning more like 500 calories at least. That takes jogging a couple miles on depending how fast you are going and how inclined the terrain is. If you lose 500 calories a day from jogging and jog 7 days a week, that is a pound of fat lost right there. That is a lot of work for just one pound but that is the way it goes.

Oh yeah, allow yourself a cheat food once a week but be sensible with the portion. It is good to help boost a lagging metabolism from dieting for a long time and good for morale. Unless of course if you cheat once you know you will not be able to stop after that. If that is the case, just forget it. You know yourself better than we do.

The first 5 pounds you lose will mostly be water. After that fat. And you will have to put in more effort to keep results going as you go into your diet longer. It is not uncommon to lose 10 pounds the first week with moderate effort, 5 pounds the second week with moderate effort and only 1 or 2 pounds the third week with a lot of effort. That is just the way it goes. Do not lose heart. Just keep going. That also depends how overweight you are. A man that weights 300 pounds can easily lose 10 or 15 pounds the first week of diet while a man who only weights 150 pounds will not lose 10 in a week no matter how hard he tries. Expect to lose about 2 pounds a week after the first 2 weeks with moderate effort. Do not weigh yourself more than once a week. If you weigh yourself every other day you will lose heart because we fluctuate in water weight day by day so the scale can say that you gained weight but then if you weight yourself hours later, it can say that you lost weight. Weigh yourself once a week on the same day.

Good luck.
 
oremosjuntos said:
Good evening all,

Right about this moment I had my mother call me fat since I’ve gained some considerable weight going into college. She’s always yelling at me when something goes wrong. It makes me feel like a slob every time it’s brought up. I’m the type to despise people who tell me what to do, and it’s very unhealthy. I wish I could tell her we should take a different approach to this whole situation involving our whole family, to pray on it more, etc. It seems like we never put our faith in this and only are quick to criticize anything with each other or ourselves I’ve had high triglycerides and high LDL cholesterol, and I only want to lose weight for health reasons and the fact I feel a lot more comfortable and confident when I do. I actually like working out and riding my bike (more than hitting a gym) for long periods of time. I do have a bad habit of snacking and I have to cut the carbs, but when I’m constantly shamed because of my weight I really lose my focus and I just want to tell my mother that but I’m sure she’ll never understand and she’ll keep doing the same thing anyway.

Thanks for your responses in advance,

Juan S.
Click to expand...
There’s marriage advice that says that to have a good relationship with a spouse, we need to make five positive remarks for every one negative remark to break even.

In fact, that seems to be well-supported by research on effective business practices:

hbr.org/2013/03/the-ideal-praise-to-criticism

Note that the lowest performing group was the one with with a ratio of three negative remarks to one positive remark.

Maybe try sharing something like that with your mom? You can point out to her that for her advice to have the effect she desires, she needs to make a lot more positive remarks than she is making with regard to diet and exercise.

Also, when she makes negative remarks, you can ask her to help you, maybe by not bringing home stuff you shouldn’t eat, or by stocking and offering ready-to-eat veggies, or by serving dinners with one more vegetable than normally.

There’s a Weight Watchers book with testimonial stories from people who lost major weight and kept it off (Start Living, Start Losing). You might want to share it (or something like that) with your mom.

Best Wishes!
 
Assuming your metabolism is normal, the best way is to avoid buying anything other than fresh meats, fruits, and veggies. Buy stuff you have to cook in order to eat. Stay away from sweets and if you get hungry between meals, eat carrots.
 
I lost weight cutting back on processed foods like frozen dinners. I learned how to understand labels and stopped buying foods with added sugars or with high fructose corn syrup.

Just start small and you’ll do it.
 
I am losing wt., but not because I was told to or because someone has called me fat. My Dr. did say I was “top heavy,” but did not say to lose wt. I am losing about a lb. per week because I want to be in better health and not to please someone else. I am using a high protein, low carb approach and it seems to work for me. Also, you can visit Dr. Oz’s web site as he has some really good plans on dieting. I find that when someone is critical of others they are just projecting their own dissatisfaction with their own conditions or selves. While it may not be a wt. situation that they endure, there is a problem with calling someone fat.

You can snack without getting “fat.” That is why I like the Dr. Oz plan for myself. It works and I don’t feel deprived, but am already feeling healthier. I wish the same for you. I am not endorsing Dr. Oz, just saying it works for me. Peace and prayers for you endeavors.
 
I am a certified exercise physiologist. I have coached a few people in weight loss but mostly work with performance situations. It all works the same regardless. Feel free to message me privately and I’d be willing to give you some specifics instead of asking you a ton of questions over the public forum.
 
oremosjuntos said:
Good evening all,

Right about this moment I had my mother call me fat since I’ve gained some considerable weight going into college. She’s always yelling at me when something goes wrong. It makes me feel like a slob every time it’s brought up. I’m the type to despise people who tell me what to do, and it’s very unhealthy. I wish I could tell her we should take a different approach to this whole situation involving our whole family, to pray on it more, etc. It seems like we never put our faith in this and only are quick to criticize anything with each other or ourselves I’ve had high triglycerides and high LDL cholesterol, and I only want to lose weight for health reasons and the fact I feel a lot more comfortable and confident when I do. I actually like working out and riding my bike (more than hitting a gym) for long periods of time. I do have a bad habit of snacking and I have to cut the carbs, but when I’m constantly shamed because of my weight I really lose my focus and I just want to tell my mother that but I’m sure she’ll never understand and she’ll keep doing the same thing anyway.

Thanks for your responses in advance,

Juan S.
Click to expand...
:hug3:

My heart goes out to you.

I am also overweight and have been for most of my adult life. And like you, I have a mom who’s made losing the weight always about something other than health. I wish I could tell you some way of instantly erasing the messages in your head from your mum, and the barriers those messages place between you and losing the weight you need to.

The best advice I can give you is to seek committed friends who will help you focus on YOUR goals, and not your mother’s or anyone else’s. Have friends to whom you can vent when your mom and your thoughts give you messages that keep you from your goals. Having a journal helps me to vent, as it were, and to keep MY plan in front of me.

This isn’t just about having a weight-loss plan. This is about healing the pain within you and creating new ways of thinking according to the Heart of God. Don’t expect healing overnight, but the fight will make you strong, and God will support you through it all.

God bless you, dear one. I will keep you in my prayers!
 
Weight watchers was going great for me until last Easter. I told my mom I wasn’t going to eat anything so I could stay on track, but she got me to ruin that day. Now I’m worse than before.

Pointsplus is their best system, at least for me I got 40 points a day and 49 flex points (As a guy I get more, and as a big guy more). I would also HIGHLY RECOMMEND getting a fitbit and try to get 10,000 steps a day. I think the Charge is the best value. Also follow the app and drink all the water it wants you to based on the information it gives you. And remember, do not listen to ANYBODY. Do NOT eat that chocolate on Easter because it’s a great way to gain ten pounds over the holiday.
 
oremosjuntos said:
Good evening all,

Right about this moment I had my mother call me fat since I’ve gained some considerable weight going into college. She’s always yelling at me when something goes wrong. It makes me feel like a slob every time it’s brought up. I’m the type to despise people who tell me what to do, and it’s very unhealthy. I wish I could tell her we should take a different approach to this whole situation involving our whole family, to pray on it more, etc. It seems like we never put our faith in this and only are quick to criticize anything with each other or ourselves I’ve had high triglycerides and high LDL cholesterol, and I only want to lose weight for health reasons and the fact I feel a lot more comfortable and confident when I do. I actually like working out and riding my bike (more than hitting a gym) for long periods of time. I do have a bad habit of snacking and I have to cut the carbs, but when I’m constantly shamed because of my weight I really lose my focus and I just want to tell my mother that but I’m sure she’ll never understand and she’ll keep doing the same thing anyway.

Thanks for your responses in advance,

Juan S.
Click to expand...
Even just giving up eating foods with sugar permanently until back at normal weight. This will do loads.

And give up white bread, and eat real type of whole grain multi seed brown bread (not the processed sliced loaves), this bread is real bread, and has slow release of energy, and is more filling. This type of bread can be got in shops.

Buy a smoothie maker (to make sure you get your five fruit or vegetables per day), smoothies are really tasty and also are full of energy. The Nutribullet is really cool.

Give up eating cheese and instead have yogurt or milk (for daily). Cheese is weight gaining. But do make sure you have 3 different dairy products per day (yogurt or milk).

Think positively (negative thinking causes stress and worry or lack of sleep causes the body to store food rather than burn it off).
Read on the kindle app “The Miracle Ship” by Brian O’ Hare (it’s all about God’s power in positive thinking, and never to think negative) powerful book 🙂

You will find it easier maybe to go for a walk or jog on a Saturday or Friday, (to get your 2 hrs 30mins exercise for the week done in one go rather than on week days). Even start small, just a walk

Longterm the above will work. Eat healthy foods only.
This means giving up pizzas, and fizzy drinks

Make sure you drink 6 to 8 glasses of water each day.
One at every meal and one between meals. Or two glasses of water at each meal.
Lack of water causes the body to store food aswell, because its a defence mechanism of the body.

Going to bed early will also work loads, because not getting enough sleep causes the body to store food as a defense mechanism. (give up chocolate also)

Starving yourself is a terrible idea because it results in no energy for work etc…
 
You have two things going on.
  1. You are not entirely satisfied with the way you are caring for your own body
  2. Your mother thinks that it is OK to talk to you in a rude manner
I think you’re tolerating (2) because your mom’s rude comments hit on (1). It really should not be relevant. Rude comments do not become OK because there is some truth to them, do they? No. If anything, the most hurtful comments are the ones that hit the area of their victim’s greatest insecurity.

You may not be politically in a situation to do it, but there wouldn’t be anything spiritually out of place to tell your mother that it is rude to call you or anyone else fat, reminding her that negative comments about other people’s physical appearance are not kind and rarely gain anyone’s cooperation. It is certainly OK to ignore her when she says things like that.

You don’t have to have decided where to find the guidance that will actually help you before deciding that you aren’t going to accept it from your mother. She is rude to you, she doesn’t have the same goals that you have for yourself, and you are old enough to decide who is and who is not welcome in discussions about your care of yourself.

I know people who tolerate being bossed around in a rude manner, but I don’t know anyone who likes it. Many (if not most) people despise being bluntly told what to do, especially in a disrespectful way, even if they are very good at taking solicited advice from someone qualified to give it or orders from someone with the authority give orders. I know people who allow themselves to be bossed around without minding it too much and I know even know people who welcome those who will make their decisions for them, but I wouldn’t call that healthy or even necessarily humble. Bearing wrongs patiently is a spiritual work of mercy, but a wrong that is borne patiently out of love does not become a right.

Statistically, people lose weight by a combination of exercise and food restrictions and they do it over a long course of time by finding a system of accounting to someone (a friend, a coach, a counsellor) and/or something (a journal) that will help them make goals, put boundaries on themselves to reach them, hold them accountable, and give them evidence of progress. The exact way to do that depends on you, and it may take you some tries to find it. Don’t give up. Even if you improve your exercise and nutrition a little bit, it can make a big difference in your health and the satisfaction you feel in your own self-care efforts in the long run. Do not start thinking that “Mom must be right” if the ways you try don’t work. That does not make it right to be bossed around by someone who puts you down, not even your dear beloved mama. (And yes, many people love their mothers to distraction even though their mothers try to have an inappropriate level of control over them, just as mothers can love their children even when they aren’t very good at the obedience that is the duty of a* child*.)
 
I’m a guy that has been in the gym for quite some time, so i have some experience. And i have coached some girls (not professionally) to lose weight.
Some guys here have already said a lot but il tell my piece of advice just in case. 😃

First off! Your awesome to ask for advice and try to achive your goals!!! 👍 Few do sadly!

Now dont fret. You can easy lose your weight even if its 100+ pounds. The thing is to do it smart! Don’t starve or only be a treadmill-queen. Now if you do that you will never achieve your goal.

So i would advice you that first off get your food-intake under control. That is the big first step. You don’t need to eat healthy salads or that hipster stuff. Just check up online your daily calorie intake to loose that amount of fat in such a period of time that you want and is recommended!
A tip is to exchange things you eat for less calorie dense foods. A snack for example, exchange that with a banana or such. Just count all your calories and soon you will look like a super model! 😉

Second is hit the gym. What you want in your stage is a 24 hours burn effect and you can only reach that with training the muscles. you need to lift weights! 24hour burn is that you burn fat for 24hours. And if your a girl you will never ever be able to gain the muscle volume as a dude will do. Not even close, so don’t worry to become the next Arnold. 😃

Sure u can go for a run every day but that will only burn fat for the time you run so its pretty ineffective if you want to lose some more weight.

One important thing is to find a coach and they cost so i would advice you to search on youtube for Nikki Blackketter if your a woman and if your a guy well just follow her BF. They both are awesome at keeping things down to earth. There you will learn a ton of info of what you need to know! Strongly advice that!

Keep in mind that if you want to hit the goal to lose all your fat, it will take some time. Mostly is to just keep doing the what you set out to do. You don’t even need to train, run sometimes, but just lower you food intake. That’s is! Don’t do over complicated things. Keep it simple and just never give up. Its hard but you can do it!

Stay awesome! 😃 😃
 
oremosjuntos said:
Good evening all,

Right about this moment I had my mother call me fat since I’ve gained some considerable weight going into college. She’s always yelling at me when something goes wrong. It makes me feel like a slob every time it’s brought up. I’m the type to despise people who tell me what to do, and it’s very unhealthy. I wish I could tell her we should take a different approach to this whole situation involving our whole family, to pray on it more, etc. It seems like we never put our faith in this and only are quick to criticize anything with each other or ourselves I’ve had high triglycerides and high LDL cholesterol, and I only want to lose weight for health reasons and the fact I feel a lot more comfortable and confident when I do. I actually like working out and riding my bike (more than hitting a gym) for long periods of time. I do have a bad habit of snacking and I have to cut the carbs, but when I’m constantly shamed because of my weight I really lose my focus and I just want to tell my mother that but I’m sure she’ll never understand and she’ll keep doing the same thing anyway.

Thanks for your responses in advance,

Juan S.
Click to expand...
I am saddened by your mother’s nagging. I am sure it is very hurtful. However, we cannot change other people, but we can change ourselves. We can keep making the effort, with the help of the grace of God, to look past the badgering and anger of family members. With prayer you can achieve a calm which can disarm your mother.

I know from my own experiences with conflicts with others, that prayer changes us and aids in the battle to stay at peace with the Lord. And many times it helps to just walk away and work on a hobby.

God’s blessings to you!
 
I’m really sad to her this. I have 3 words for you:
Mayo Clinic Diet.
Look it up online.
You can sign up fro free and they send you really cook tips in your email box daily about what things to do to alter your lifestyle and make the weight loss less stressful and more doable. St. Thomas Aquinas was a big guy…ask him in prayer to walk the journey with you.
God bless.
 
Here’s an approach that may be good for both the weight and the mom stuff.

Next time your mom says something hurtful, say, “Yeah, I know, mom. Let’s talk an hour walk together now/after dinner/etc!” (Or whatever form of exercise is feasible for both of you to do, whatever that might be.)

I guarantee that you will get fewer remarks from her. And/or, you’ll get more healthy walks. Win-win!
 
I used to be overweight. I still am, but I used to be, too. And the biggest thing that I learned is that you can’t out-train a bad diet. I train and train but I’m still overweight because I eat like a cow. http://forums.frogdice.com/images/smilies/cow.gif

If you’re looking for a good training program I would recommend either P90x or Ross Enamait’s program “Never Gymless.” Whatever you decide to do you have to continue to challenge yourself or you’ll reach a point where you plateau and eventually regress. Good luck.
 
Prayers to you…

I used to weight 270… now I’m down into the 190’s.

I could eat all day, and did. Not sure why… just have a bottomless pit for a stomach. So… I found Atkins to be a great benefit… I could stuff my face on meat and cheese, not count calories, and lose weight. Also, my triglycerides, BP, and bad cholesterol went down.

There were Saturdays I’d have a pound of bacon for breakfast. LOL And the weight came off!

Also took up biking, strength training and running… and have kept at those, which is key.
 
Its alright. You should do what makes you happy and not what your mother defines it is.Unfortunately, we have to deal with people like this our whole lives. I use be to overweight as well, but I am in perfect health now. I know a lot of weight loss, so I can help you if you need guidance. I have a few clients running on a personalized diet program called the 3 week diet, I can guide you through it. Check out here and see if it’s something you like to try, reviewyu.com. I like how you want to lose weight for health reasons which is mostly different from everyone else.
 
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