Advice needed about relationship, and sponsor

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amb

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If anyone would be willing to share some tips and advice with me, I would greatly appreciate it. I have been dating an amazing girl for almost a year now. I plan to marry her after we graduate, and we had been best friends for a couple years before we started dating. I definitely count my blessings!

I am currently going through RCIA, and my sponsor has not been attending with me, and despite sincere intention, he works night shifts and hasn’t come to class with me or attempted to have any sort of discussion at all with me, apart from normal greetings (he is a close friend of her family). I have really been struggling with the physical aspect of our relationship coming into Catholicism. I have read many forum posts (and the entire catechism front to back) and understand the teachings of the church well. I believe it is important to grow together spiritually before the physical aspect takes place (in marriage). Despite my feeling about this, this has been in the back of my mind for a large majority of the relationship, and it really takes a toll on myself mentally thinking about this all the time.

Of course I can’t discuss this with my sponsor, as I would be very uncomfortable bringing this up due to close family ties, and we have not had any regular conversation about faith, let alone relationships. How can I get this out of the back of my head and thoroughly live in the present? It should be easy for me since I know that I am going to marry her, but it is driving me crazy!

Thanks for any (name removed by moderator)ut. I pray the chaplet of divine mercy daily and attend the adoration chapel frequently as well. I want to honor God the best I can in my actions and thoughts, and I feel as though chastity should be endearing and promote a better relationship foundation but it is really making me upset, and I don’t understand why.
 
amb, it’s very natural that the time prior to marriage, with it’s challenges, is difficult.
I would expect that it would be for most people.
Do what you can to avoid unnecessary temptation which would include passionate kissing (if you don’t already).
Stressing over it all will make it harder.
Sadly it’s likely to remain a battle until you are married…which hopefully isn’t too far away.

Hopefully you will receive some good advice from others, but it’s marvelous that you are intending to remain chaste until married, and that you ray earnestly.
https://www.catholicgentleman.net/2013/07/fighting-for-purity/
https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/...nence-and-chastity/10-12-reasons-to-be-chaste

I could mention speaking to your priest, whose battle for chastity is lifelong
 
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During this time it is important that you have someone, a well-formed Catholic, in your life whom you can talk to. For the sake of propriety and modesty, it is best that you have someone of the same gender.

This person does not have to be your official sponsor, but, you should be free to select your own sponsor (good friend of the family is a nice thing, but, you should not be pressured to select him).

Look around your RCIA class, around your parish, is there a person who is approachable? Maybe someone who is a volunteer, on staff or even someone who is sponsoring someone else (there is no exclusivity rule).

It is very wise of you to realize NOW that you need a wise companion on your journey.
 
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What she said.
I would add, that you should team up with one of your RCIA Catechists to help you in this matter. The priest, as well.
You’re off to a good start.
When you find yourself thinking about it too much, so much that it troubles you, redirect your thinking to how much you love your fiance, and that your eventual marriage and togetherness in faith will be such a joy and blessing for YEARS to come!
 
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