Advice needed for Agnostic

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Whistler64

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Hi Everyone,

Several years ago I decided to pursue the Deaconate Program, however I found that the more I read about Christian history and traditions, the less I believed in the truth of what has been taught by the Church. I now find myself in a position that I don’t believe that a God exists.
I still go to Mass every week, and play music with the church band as well as cantor when needed. I spoke to my pastor about whether I should continue to cantor even though I don’t believe. He said it was OK as long as there was no scandal regarding this.
I would dearly love things to be as they once were, but don’t know how to go forward and reconnect. Is there anyone out there who has had a similar crisis, and how were you able to reconcile?

Regards

Whistler64
 
Well, you are admitting to behaving inconsistently. If you do not believe in God, why are you going to Mass and participating in singing? You sound like you are on that fine line of agnostic/atheism. You will never be able to prove a faith. However, if you continue to search, read, think, dialogue, study, I trust you will eventually learn where you have fallen off the trail. There are plenty of books and writings about people who were where you are and found their way. Look up EWTN’s program Journey Home. It has personal stories of converts, including people from atheism. You can listen to past programs for free from the internet. There’s a good basic work called (I think) The Case for Christ.

I recoemmend you distill your points of skeptisism are and then research those point by point. See what people on the Christian side say and their opponents. This will bleed together quite a bit. However, I think you’ll find an incredibly rich reasoning and history with the RCC. It is demanding and lengthly, however. I think you owe it to yourself to keep searching. You won’t be able to prove any reasons not to believe either.

Happy hunting.
 
Whistler64 said:
Hi Everyone,

Several years ago I decided to pursue the Deaconate Program, however I found that the more I read about Christian history and traditions, the less I believed in the truth of what has been taught by the Church. I now find myself in a position that I don’t believe that a God exists.
I still go to Mass every week, and play music with the church band as well as cantor when needed. I spoke to my pastor about whether I should continue to cantor even though I don’t believe. He said it was OK as long as there was no scandal regarding this.
I would dearly love things to be as they once were, but don’t know how to go forward and reconnect. Is there anyone out there who has had a similar crisis, and how were you able to reconcile?

Regards

Whistler64
Click to expand...
Whistler64,

I have started reading a book called “Dark Night of the Soul” by St. John of the Cross. It talks about this. I am reading it to try and understand about a point in my life where I doubted God’s existence.

Considering reading this book. Also, continue to pray. Keep your eyes pointed to God, even if you don’t think He exists. I promise you He is still here. I don’t have much else to say just that this may be a blessing in disguise to test your faith. Pray. And pray some more.

My prayers are with you.
 
Whistler64 said:
Hi Everyone,

Several years ago I decided to pursue the Deaconate Program, however I found that the more I read about Christian history and traditions, the less I believed in the truth of what has been taught by the Church. I now find myself in a position that I don’t believe that a God exists.
I still go to Mass every week, and play music with the church band as well as cantor when needed. I spoke to my pastor about whether I should continue to cantor even though I don’t believe. He said it was OK as long as there was no scandal regarding this.
I would dearly love things to be as they once were, but don’t know how to go forward and reconnect. Is there anyone out there who has had a similar crisis, and how were you able to reconcile?

Regards

Whistler64
Click to expand...
You indicate you had decided to pursue the Deaconate Program. I assume that part of your process was having a regular Spiritual Director. If you do not have a Spiritual Diector I strongly recommend that you seek one out ~ you will benefit more from the guidance of a SD more at this time of your life than you will from those of us at CAF. We all mean well however in serious matters of faith ~ I believe one needs face to face spiritual guidance.

God bless your hearts desire to seek answers.
 
Whistler64 said:
Hi Everyone,

Several years ago I decided to pursue the Deaconate Program, however I found that the more I read about Christian history and traditions, the less I believed in the truth of what has been taught by the Church. I now find myself in a position that I don’t believe that a God exists.
I still go to Mass every week, and play music with the church band as well as cantor when needed. I spoke to my pastor about whether I should continue to cantor even though I don’t believe. He said it was OK as long as there was no scandal regarding this.
I would dearly love things to be as they once were, but don’t know how to go forward and reconnect. Is there anyone out there who has had a similar crisis, and how were you able to reconcile?

Regards

Whistler64
Click to expand...
I posted this on another thread where Athiests and agnostics are trying to convince believers that they are wrong.

Just something to think about when so many things appear to be foggy…

With communications the way it is, and virtually unlimited views to so many opinions, how does anyone know what to believe?

You have to get back to the basics. What is good, what is bad and how are they defined. Christ’s example that the ultimate good is to give your life for others and then the Catholic Church’s (through Christ) guide on living your life is the perfect blueprint. When it gets right down to it the message is selfless vs selfish.

I am a cradle Catholic, but am drawn deeper into the faith, mainly because of how common sense the faith is.

At the very worst error on the side of caution. I cannot understand how athiests and agnostics as a whole think they are doing good by trying to lead others away from their faith.
 
Whistler64 said:
Hi Everyone,

Several years ago I decided to pursue the Deaconate Program, however I found that the more I read about Christian history and traditions, the less I believed in the truth of what has been taught by the Church. I now find myself in a position that I don’t believe that a God exists.
I still go to Mass every week, and play music with the church band as well as cantor when needed. I spoke to my pastor about whether I should continue to cantor even though I don’t believe. He said it was OK as long as there was no scandal regarding this.
I would dearly love things to be as they once were, but don’t know how to go forward and reconnect. Is there anyone out there who has had a similar crisis, and how were you able to reconcile?

Regards

Whistler64
Click to expand...
Whistler64,

I think there are two problems. The first is an inadequate grasp of philosophy/natural theology. Unfortunately, the common views we are given in society are so “secular” that even belief in God seems something unreasonable and outlandish. The second is perhaps a lack in prayer life. The primary way to “know” God is through a relationship with Him, and that means living a deep prayer life.

If you could, could you tell us what your history is, and your problems are, concerning numbers 1 and 2, and perhaps I could help a bit. (i.e., for 1, why don’t you think God exists? for 2, what sort of prayer life did you lead before and during your discerning process?)

When I was a little bit younger I went through a period when I doubted God’s existence and the faith. I can definitely sympathize. Ultimately, I think some of my root problems were the extremely secular philosophical views we all hold unthinkingly, and my complete lack of an intimate prayer life. But even more fundamental was sin, which often incites us to disbelief and, as it were “clouds our intellect.” Send me a private message if you want to talk one on one. God bless,

Rob
 
My question to you is; How can you pursue the study of Church history and doubt what the church teaches? It seems to me, in my studies, that a real study just bears out the truth.

Of course it depends on the authors you are reading. You could be led astray by the selection of heretical authors.
 
I believe that this is why we use the word “faith”. We do not see, and yet we believe. It is an expression of our trust in God and in His love. I also look at numerous moments in my life where I come to the conclusion that God’s hand was present. I have been involved in several traffic accidents without any serious injury. I had a couple of incidents as a child where I could have been seriously hurt, but was not, and I attribute this to God’s mercy. It is easy to fall into the trap of wanting proof, but as Christ told St. Thomas the apostle, blessed are those who believe yet have not seen.

I endorse the earlier suggestion that you consult with a Spiritual Director. They would, I expect, be able to direct you to the best resources for finding the information that you seek. In addition, continue to pray. I believe that you will find God and know that He is real, alive and active in this world. I pray for God’s blessing on you and for the success of your search.
 
At the very worst error on the side of caution. I cannot understand how athiests and agnostics as a whole think they are doing good by trying to lead others away from their faith.

I explain this a few ways . there is the atheist who just is bitter and resentful. And inspired by this hate, he wants to bring others to his own ruin. This is inspired by Satan. Satan seeks to convert…and i want you all to pay close attention what i say here… satan converts you through resentment, through hate. Whenever you talk with an atheist you cannot cannot resent his unbelief. you need to always have love. if you resent…be careful lest they turn and tear you to pieces.

this is what is happening now on this message board. atheists are coming and converting catholics to atheism because we catholics are not being patient or just wiping the dust off are feet .

second there is the other atheist who is sent on these boards for a direct purpose. I have no doubt there is freemasons on this board who are infiltrating it to undermine people’s faith.

Id like to add the christian is moved by loved and out of this love there inspired to preach God’s love. but the atheist is the complete flip side of the coin, filled with hate, he’s motivated by hate to destroy and ruin. there soul is rotted out and filled with all kinds of evil and in some cases evil spirits.

That is why alot of saints said those they saw in hell most were atheists or who people didnt believe in hell, usually atheists.

I warn you with christs words…CAST NOT YOUR PEARLS BEFORE SWINE LEST THEY TURN AND TEAR YOU TO PIECES.
 
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