Z
ZDHayden
Guest
If you will, please offer me some much-needed advice. Here is a bit of a background of my need of advice:
I was confirmed in the Catholic faith this Easter, and am the only Catholic in my entire family and the only churchgoer in my immediate family. While I am only a senior in high school, soon to graduate, I have felt a strong desire (maybe pull, I don’t know) to ministry even when I was very young (As young as 8, if I remember correctly) and in the Southern Baptist church of my upbringing. After attending Mass for the first time last year, the desire for ministry became much stronger, compounded by a strong desire for the Eucharist (which I found myself believing in its entirety even after my first Mass). However, I recently (almost a year ago), became involved in a relationship with a very … sheltered? … non-denominational Christian girl. It may be because this is my first relationship, or it may be her reaction (to be mentioned later), or even a calling from God to marriage, but my former desire for ministry has come into doubt in favor of possible marriage in the distant future (post-college). Every time I mention priestly vocations, she starts acting very frightened, which only makes me doubt more. I’ve prayed numerous times for clarity, and have determined to, when certain of a path, to follow said path to its end. But, to be perfectly honest,I am slightly afraid of both. I am a horrible sinner, and end up making the same mistakes the day after confession that led me to the sacrament in the first place, even though I am torn with regret each time. Old habits (which formed during my rebellious atheist days – two years’ worth) die hard, I suppose. If I go the path of the priesthood, I have to let go of my girlfriend. If I go the path of marriage, I have to let go of the ministry. I don’t know what to do. Even though there are conflicting desires for both, I cannot justify myself, knowing my flaws, in either. (I understand that the Sacraments are not reliant upon the priest’s own sanctity, but still . . .) Thank you.
I was confirmed in the Catholic faith this Easter, and am the only Catholic in my entire family and the only churchgoer in my immediate family. While I am only a senior in high school, soon to graduate, I have felt a strong desire (maybe pull, I don’t know) to ministry even when I was very young (As young as 8, if I remember correctly) and in the Southern Baptist church of my upbringing. After attending Mass for the first time last year, the desire for ministry became much stronger, compounded by a strong desire for the Eucharist (which I found myself believing in its entirety even after my first Mass). However, I recently (almost a year ago), became involved in a relationship with a very … sheltered? … non-denominational Christian girl. It may be because this is my first relationship, or it may be her reaction (to be mentioned later), or even a calling from God to marriage, but my former desire for ministry has come into doubt in favor of possible marriage in the distant future (post-college). Every time I mention priestly vocations, she starts acting very frightened, which only makes me doubt more. I’ve prayed numerous times for clarity, and have determined to, when certain of a path, to follow said path to its end. But, to be perfectly honest,I am slightly afraid of both. I am a horrible sinner, and end up making the same mistakes the day after confession that led me to the sacrament in the first place, even though I am torn with regret each time. Old habits (which formed during my rebellious atheist days – two years’ worth) die hard, I suppose. If I go the path of the priesthood, I have to let go of my girlfriend. If I go the path of marriage, I have to let go of the ministry. I don’t know what to do. Even though there are conflicting desires for both, I cannot justify myself, knowing my flaws, in either. (I understand that the Sacraments are not reliant upon the priest’s own sanctity, but still . . .) Thank you.