Advice on a Sunday problem

[Maynoothman]

The back story is that I work late night as a superviser in a fast food place to put myself through college. The busiest night of the week is, obviously, saturday night. My shift starts at 7 saturday night and I get home and into bed just before 7 sunday morning.

I miss the saturday vigil mass cause they all start at 7 on sat night and the times in my nearest church is 10:30 & 12.00 sunday morning. (My family goes to 10:30 and visit some elderly neighbors on the way home and dont be back till before lunch)

Now the thing is Im really tired having to work and do college but I always manage to get myself up and in mass for 12, but Im slightly disheveled cause I only get about four hours sleep and I jump into the shower and throw on the cleanest clothes I have but cause Im always running in rubbing sleep out of my eyes.

A couple weeks ago the sacristan, how knows my situation, grabbed me on the way out and said that I was being extremely disrespectful, that I was making a show of myself, was letting my family down and was lowering the tone of the congregation. Plus he said I was working on the sabbath and there was no reason for it.

I was shocked and told him that I was trying my best and I said that I was sorry if I was offending people but that I was sure that people have better things on their mind. (I really wanted to tell him where to go but. . .well THAT would have been improper.)

The last couple of weeks he has been throwing me dirty looks even though I have tried getting up a little earlier.

Now acting in a Christian manner doesnt come particularily easy to me and I have to constantly try to control myself. Im afraid that if he comes at me again I wont be able to restrain myself from telling him where to go.
If Im being honest Im also worried he might have a point that I am being disrespectful.

Am I being disrespectful? and how will I control myself from telling him to bugger off (or worse)

 

[Em_in_FL]

Do you have any other options? An evening Mass on Sunday? Another nearby parish with later Sunday Masses?

Unless you’re making a total scene as you come in, I would not imagine tiredness being disrespectful!
From what you’re saying I’d say you’re doing an awesome job… keeping your obligation regardless of your exhaustion! That’s to be commended!

I’m sorry the sacristan is a busy-body. Like I said, unless there’s a huge scene as you come into Mass, I’d say you’re on the right track. Just try to avoid this particular person… maybe sit elsewhere in the church or find another time or parish you can attend.

Good luck!

 

[bluerose]

This may sound crazy, but is there an even EARLIER Mass on Sunday, say at 7 or 7:30 or eight in the morning? Then you could pretty much go straight from work to church (you could even take your church clothes with you and change before leaving work.)

I would think it far easier to stay up an hour or two later (that is, postpone going to bed) in order to get to Mass than to try to squeeze in a couple of hours of sleep and be wide awake.

That’s just me, but it’s an idea.

 

[Newbie2]

Tell him to bugger off in a nice way; if he knows your situation and is critital of you anyway, he deserves it.

Something like, “Thank you for your concern for my situation” should be sufficient. If he continues, make a suggestion that he contribute financially to your situation so you didn’t have to work on the Sabbath.

When you get dirty looks, just smile back sweetly.

Another tactic is the “You’re absolutely right” technique. When he is critical, just say, “You’re absolutely right” and go about your business. Fell free to add, “…I should really do something about it”, and go about your business.

Jesus had to deal with Pharisees, too.

 

[love4mary]

I am a sacristan, and if I approached anyone in that manner my priest would “call me on the carpet” in a heartbeat, and he would be training a new sacristan.

I like newbie2’s suggestion, if your sacristan has issues with your working on Sunday, tell HIM to help support your education/bill paying responsibilities.

 

[teachccd]

Your Mass attendance is between you and God. You DO NOT need to explain yourself to an unsympathetic sacristan. Tell him to remove the beam from his eye before he picks at the splinter in yours. SHHEEESH…Why don’t people rejoice when they see people at Mass rather than scrutinize the details. Like the previous poster said, thank him for his concern but tell him that as an adult you can tend to your own business.

How do people get such nerve?? Wow…unbelieveable…teachccd

 

[Maynoothman]

The only masses in the village are the 10.30 and 12.00 on sunday.
I would have gone to the earlier one and spent more time in bed if that’d be an option.

Another tactic is the “You’re absolutely right” technique. When he is critical, just say, “You’re absolutely right” and go about your business. Fell free to add, “…I should really do something about it”, and go about your business.

Thats brilliant advice actually, cheers!
And thanks for everyones advice, possibly being oversensitive cause Iv had to cut down from being really active to just attending church on a sunday and I hate not being as involved anymore.

 

[Uncle_David]

I think your effort to attend Mass is very admirable!!!

 

[Lorik]

This may sound crazy, but is there an even EARLIER Mass on Sunday, say at 7 or 7:30 or eight in the morning? Then you could pretty much go straight from work to church (you could even take your church clothes with you and change before leaving work.)

I would think it far easier to stay up an hour or two later (that is, postpone going to bed) in order to get to Mass than to try to squeeze in a couple of hours of sleep and be wide awake.

That’s just me, but it’s an idea.

I find this so much easier. I work Sat overnight also. Way easier to just go straight to Mass after work at a different parish usually, their schedule just works better with mine than my home parish.