E
Explorer1962
Guest
Hello…I used to be pretty active on the Catholic Answers forum but have been away for a while, but I would like some advice and guidance for being a better wife.
My husband and I have been married about 1 1/2 years. It’s a second marriage for both of us - he’s 55, I’m 50. Our prior marriages were annulled and we were married in the Church - what a glorious day.
Our situation is somewhat stressful as my husband still has partial custody of his 17-year-old son, who lives primarily with his mother and goes to school in town A. My job is in town B, which is two hours from town A. As a result, my husband travels to town A each Wednesday morning and every other weekend, to a house we rent there. I join him every other weekend to be with him and my son. All of this going back and forth, and having his stuff in two different places, is exhausting, especially since he’s been doing it for about four years now (before we were married, he stayed in a cabin he had built on a separate piece of property).
Additionally, I lived along for about ten years before I met him, and I’m one of those people who sets a schedule and a routine and likes to stick with it. I work fulltime (he’s retired), and workout at my local Crossfit gym four times a week. (He’s very supportive of that.)
I’ve never had any children of my own, and I freely admit that I can be very selfish. When we argue, it’s usually about stuff that bothers me that is extremely trivial. We tend to raise our voices but usually don’t resort to verbal attacks (beyond “you’re too rigid” and “you don’t understand me”), but I still feel horrible afterward.
I love this man with all my heart, and I want this marriage to be better than both our first ones. I want our home to be a place where he can relax and feel welcomed and loved. I want to find a better way to put his needs first and to be more supportive, and to learn how to deal with disagreements more appropriately. Any suggestions, advice, guidance toward good reading resources would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you -
My husband and I have been married about 1 1/2 years. It’s a second marriage for both of us - he’s 55, I’m 50. Our prior marriages were annulled and we were married in the Church - what a glorious day.
Our situation is somewhat stressful as my husband still has partial custody of his 17-year-old son, who lives primarily with his mother and goes to school in town A. My job is in town B, which is two hours from town A. As a result, my husband travels to town A each Wednesday morning and every other weekend, to a house we rent there. I join him every other weekend to be with him and my son. All of this going back and forth, and having his stuff in two different places, is exhausting, especially since he’s been doing it for about four years now (before we were married, he stayed in a cabin he had built on a separate piece of property).
Additionally, I lived along for about ten years before I met him, and I’m one of those people who sets a schedule and a routine and likes to stick with it. I work fulltime (he’s retired), and workout at my local Crossfit gym four times a week. (He’s very supportive of that.)
I’ve never had any children of my own, and I freely admit that I can be very selfish. When we argue, it’s usually about stuff that bothers me that is extremely trivial. We tend to raise our voices but usually don’t resort to verbal attacks (beyond “you’re too rigid” and “you don’t understand me”), but I still feel horrible afterward.
I love this man with all my heart, and I want this marriage to be better than both our first ones. I want our home to be a place where he can relax and feel welcomed and loved. I want to find a better way to put his needs first and to be more supportive, and to learn how to deal with disagreements more appropriately. Any suggestions, advice, guidance toward good reading resources would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you -