Advice on confused catholic and sacraments

[dee_burk]

Ok, I have been away from here for awhile but a situation has arisen and I don’t know what to do. I will try to make this short.
I recently moved and joined a new parish…well its been a year. A new older gentleman as started coming to our parish and he sits right in front of me. He has been coming for 2 months or so now. He is completely lost during Mass, so I try to help him as much as possible during Mass and I have even stayed after to explain things to him, from whats going on, which book to use between the Missalette and song book, how to follow the order of the Mass, when to stand, kneel, sit, ect. He was not going up to the Eucharist until about 6 weeks ago in an uncomfortable moment when the usher insisted he get up and go up to communion and in fact would not go to the next row until Mr. X got in line. Well, that was a mess and it has been every since. He doesn’t know what to do or say and it makes everyone uncomfortable including the Eucharist Minister who finally just gives him communion.
I have attempted to talk to him about it and he says he was raised Catholic and seemed aggravated that I asked and he insists he knows what he is doing. Yet again this morning he turned and asked me what he is suppose to say when he goes up there.
Part of me says to leave it alone that it really isn’t my business but then part of me feels a need to tell someone so that they can talk to him and properly “catechize” him. I don’t really think he has dementia but maybe since he cant remember week from week what to say… or do…
I even printed off an 11 page (big writing so he could read) the order of the Mass with responses to help him and gave to him, I am at a loss. What should I do or not???
Help

 

[angell1]

it is possible that he does have deimentia if he really can’t remember thngs from week to week. I find it disconcerting that the ushers forced him to go to communion though, that is someone’s own private choice, it could have been that deep down,he felt he wasn’t properly disposed., try not to worry about it too much, he is not responsible if he really can’t remember, if he asks for help, then give it to him if you want to, if he refuses your help, then also try to respect that

also, perhaps you should talk to your priest about the situation

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Talking with the priest seems like a good idea, if for no other reason than to make sure that usher receives some training.

 

[Lee1]

He may be a gift.

I’d ask your priest about it and keep helping him, if he’s ok then it won’t last forever, and if he isn’t then you’d have done a very nice charitable act.

 

[Brendea]

We got our children a book called the catholic children’s prayer book. It has all the prayers needed as well as the order of the mass. It’s been absolutely brilliant mabye it would help an elderly guy as well

 

[JMMJ]

I don’t really have any practical advice to offer but i just wanted to tell you how nice I think it is that you are going out of your way to offer your support in the way that you have. You sound like a wonderful person.

 

[BartholomewB]

an uncomfortable moment when the usher insisted he get up and go up to communion and in fact would not go to the next row until Mr. X got in line.

I would be more worried about the pastor apparently turning a blind eye to the usher’s gross mistake.

 

[otrrl]

If he’s there for a weekend Mass, he must have some ability to be rational – to get there, on time, right day, etc. possible causes? dementia or mental illness, more broadly. Might be an underlying medical problem. None of my or your business actually, but somebody might follow him after Mass to see if he has a home and take things from that point – to locate his family or case worker.

I would go to a different Mass or sit somewhere else. Kindness might work – take him to breakfast and talk to him. Ask the usher(s) if anybody knows him. Catch him on the way into church and find out his story.

 

[normdplume]

Just because someone is forgetful does not mean they necessarily have dementia. Many pills cause memory loss. Also, some memory loss comes naturally with age without it being a mental illness.

I disagree with otrrl about following him home. Although well-intended, that could be a little creepy. Invite him for breakfast if you’re concerned about his welfare or talk to your priest about it. It’s terrific that you are doing such a wonderful thing for this man.

 

[dee_burk]

Thank you everyone. I will try to talk to our priest about it. I just didnt want to butt in if it would be viewed as unacceptable since i dont know exactly what the circumstances are.