Advice on DH's clutter -- PLEASE!

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You are SO right.

Did I mention that my born-again effort to keep the bedroom picture perfect (it really IS a lovely room) gave him the idea (without my asking) to move a tacky cd rack down to the landfill – I mean, the basement. Not having that aluminum-tube contraption next to the 1860 marble-top dresser took 25 points off my blood pressure. And I didn’t even ASK!
That’s great! Maybe you’re starting to rub off on him…👍
 
I suppose you would recommend that we discard our 1977 Guide to Home Renovation? Or how about the Do-It-Yourself Handbook of Electrical Wiring (1951).

Man! THOSE are collectors’ items today! :rolleyes:
you would just see a blur of color as those books were being flung into the nearest trash can. 🙂

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo Da Vinci
 
Oh my goodness. I have no advice to offer, but I just wanted to say “thanks” for some good laughs! My 87-y/o father is a terrible packrat, and I know the day is coming when my brother and I will have to sort through his stuff. But he will have to be carted out of that house on a stretcher (or mortuary cart) before we will be able to touch any of it. Oy oy oy. But at least he doesn’t have any bulls’ horns stashed somewhere…or maybe they are really well-hidden. :eek:

The FlyLady rocks! 👍
 


Do you find yourself putting things away together? This is where the true clutter problem comes in – he won’t put things away, or he’ll scatter pieces to one thing all over the house then get really angry and panic when he can’t find a piece.
Yes, I do find myself keeping things grouped together. Of course he’ll have to be committed to it, and there has to be no backing down from the rules. I got bit the first few times because I’d go to get a gadget or item from one box, and realize a part I needed for it was in another box that got thrown out the previous month. Which meant that the gadget had it been in that box too, would have been tossed as well, so out goes the gadget.

Of course this has also lead to having to replace certain items, but now I am more careful with them.

Paper clutter is different for me. My mail goes into a single pile, along with other stuff. I do keep it in a box. I call it my archaeological filing method, the deeper I dig, the older it is.

EDIT: I should point out that being a packrat is a male tendency. We go out and hunt and gather things to provide for ourselves and our families, and leaving the stuff out for people to see is how we mark our territories. 😃
 
EDIT: I should point out that being a packrat is a male tendency. We go out and hunt and gather things to provide for ourselves and our families, and leaving the stuff out for people to see is how we mark our territories. 😃
And I always thought it was a female thing! 😛
 
About a year ago we rented a small dumpster to get rid of remodeling debris… about 1/2 way through filling it we realized there was more “debris” than space. So we had to order another. For an additional $15 the next unit could contain “Mixed Household Junk”… guess what!

With the exception of a few boxes of “family heirlooms” or sentimental trinkets the rule was: If it hasn’t seen the light of day, been moved, or actually been pressed into “I’ll need that someday” use it went in the dumpster! No emotions - just get rid of it!

I’m a pack-rat when it comes to old car parts… old meaning 30+ years. To justify my position, I’ll hit swapmeets and pick stuff up that I know is rare or not being reproduced. Then I’ll either hang on to them (if it’ll fit my car, or is better than what’s on my car), or E-bay them to fund the restoration of my car.
My space limitation is 2-bays of the 3-car garage, and my 10x12 basement workshop… Whatever I can pack/jam/store in there is find with the DW - but I can’t invade the other parts of the house, and she always has to be able to park her car inside!😛

I’d start in small bites. Pick a pile, and state “You have 1-week to sort/toss/condense this pile. After that it’s going bye-bye… my way”.
 
About a year ago we rented a small dumpster to get rid of remodeling debris… about 1/2 way through filling it we realized there was more “debris” than space. So we had to order another. For an additional $15 the next unit could contain “Mixed Household Junk”… guess what!

With the exception of a few boxes of “family heirlooms” or sentimental trinkets the rule was: If it hasn’t seen the light of day, been moved, or actually been pressed into “I’ll need that someday” use it went in the dumpster! No emotions - just get rid of it!

I’m a pack-rat when it comes to old car parts… old meaning 30+ years. To justify my position, I’ll hit swapmeets and pick stuff up that I know is rare or not being reproduced. Then I’ll either hang on to them (if it’ll fit my car, or is better than what’s on my car), or E-bay them to fund the restoration of my car.
My space limitation is 2-bays of the 3-car garage, and my 10x12 basement workshop… Whatever I can pack/jam/store in there is find with the DW - but I can’t invade the other parts of the house, and she always has to be able to park her car inside!😛

I’d start in small bites. Pick a pile, and state “You have 1-week to sort/toss/condense this pile. After that it’s going bye-bye… my way”.
There’s a CAR in your garage? You can actually get a CAR in there? Who would put a car in the garage when you can store 149 flower pots, some old three-legged chairs, bags of wet books?

You crazy or sumpin?
 
My DH is guilty of this, but I am as well in different areas. And we both packrat books, to the point where we have several libraries. I am talking over 1,000 books on philosophy alone. Now, some of the stuff he needs as a profesor of philosophy. But last year’s adjunct handbook from a school that is no longer a client? No. Likewise- Paper prints of recipes from Food Network that were never tried? No as well.

As I was repainting and repairing in anticipation of possibly selling the house, I put some of the stuff in one of those POD things (only it’s another company), and took the rest to a climate-controlled storage place that just opened nearby.

ONE WEEK BEFORE I LOADED THINGS- I made the announcement that I could not paint or repair in this clutter!!! I said anything that was not safe-guarded by X-date was fair game, and I would decide what to do with it at the storage center. This went for the girls, as well, although I did help them a bit.

Some things, he safe-guarded. The rest was either packed into a box or Rubbermaid container, contents labeled, and carted away. When asked, “What is this bill?” I reminded him that all that stuff was in storage, and I was going through it as I had time.

When I was done, excepting his office, we were down to 3 beds, a kitchen table and chairs, a sofa, 2 dressers, a loveseat, very small entertainment center (converted from a dry bar), 2 end tables, and a coffee table. Oh yes- and the girls “have to keep” toys, and of course clothes.

It’s been a lot like when I cut the SAT TV from 185 to 40: Nobody has noticed. Nobody has asked for anything. We’ve eaten off paper plates all summer. I have barely baked, as I put most of that stuff in storage. I just brought back my portable kitchen cabinet and shelf.

I spend about 2 hours a week just going through containers of stuff, taking a lot of it to St. Vincent de Paul and Goodwill. I am doing it slowly, one-to-two rooms at a time, until I have a place for everything, and everything in its place.

It’s costing me about $40 a month.

But my house has never been tidier.
 
My DH is guilty of this, but I am as well in different areas. And we both packrat books, to the point where we have several libraries. I am talking over 1,000 books on philosophy alone. Now, some of the stuff he needs as a profesor of philosophy. But last year’s adjunct handbook from a school that is no longer a client? No. Likewise- Paper prints of recipes from Food Network that were never tried? No as well.

As I was repainting and repairing in anticipation of possibly selling the house, I put some of the stuff in one of those POD things (only it’s another company), and took the rest to a climate-controlled storage place that just opened nearby.

ONE WEEK BEFORE I LOADED THINGS- I made the announcement that I could not paint or repair in this clutter!!! I said anything that was not safe-guarded by X-date was fair game, and I would decide what to do with it at the storage center. This went for the girls, as well, although I did help them a bit.

Some things, he safe-guarded. The rest was either packed into a box or Rubbermaid container, contents labeled, and carted away. When asked, “What is this bill?” I reminded him that all that stuff was in storage, and I was going through it as I had time.

When I was done, excepting his office, we were down to 3 beds, a kitchen table and chairs, a sofa, 2 dressers, a loveseat, very small entertainment center (converted from a dry bar), 2 end tables, and a coffee table. Oh yes- and the girls “have to keep” toys, and of course clothes.

It’s been a lot like when I cut the SAT TV from 185 to 40: Nobody has noticed. Nobody has asked for anything. We’ve eaten off paper plates all summer. I have barely baked, as I put most of that stuff in storage. I just brought back my portable kitchen cabinet and shelf.

I spend about 2 hours a week just going through containers of stuff, taking a lot of it to St. Vincent de Paul and Goodwill. I am doing it slowly, one-to-two rooms at a time, until I have a place for everything, and everything in its place.

It’s costing me about $40 a month.

But my house has never been tidier.
This is AWESOME!

Keep us posted on your progress – kind of like how flylady posts the pounds flung. It’s an inspiration to the rest of us!
 
Don’t tell my family, but I sometimes take a kitchen trash bag and fill it with stuff and through it away. It is the biggest rush!!! I even to a victory dance all the way out to the trash bin when I do it! Sometimes I even dance around the bin before I head back into the house!:eek: Oh it was a glorious day when I nabbed the easy bake oven and trashed it. It brings a smile to my face each time I think about it. Oh and then there was the day I made my son toss out two race tracks for breaking his sister’s glasses. The stuffed animals were taking over the house until I started the adopt a pet carnival booth at the church festival. My kids donated two green trash bags full. I give a lot to the women’s shelter and there are a group of nuns that have a daycare that can always use toys.

My husband is harder. I gave him part of the garage and half the storage room. He can’t go over that. If it is in my stuff it is free game! I try to help get him anything he needs to get it organized. He has gotten better over the years.
 
This is so good! Makes me feel much better too!

Dh and I are both trash-happy, but I had to deal with my packrat father for so long - and still do.

The home we live in was my maternal grandparents’ holiday home and I inherited it. I own it. My father has no sentimental attachment to it whatsoever. When dh and I decided to live here, we had a horrible time with my father whenever he saw or heard about any old thing we decided to throw away.

Like a 50-year-old wardrobe that suffered through a flood and STANK. Old furniture, falling apart. Paintings done badly by amateurs and given to my grandfather decades ago (grandad and the ‘artists’ are long dead). Rotten, torn sunshades.

We still did it. It felt so good throwing things off the balcony and onto the lawn - you get to literally throw stuff out! 😃

It was worse growing up with my father - I can only imagine how my mother felt. My father, an electrical engineer, loves repairing everything himself. He collects discarded, broken appliances, JUST SO he could fix them - he never actually needs them! He had, at one point, several old transistor radios, several old trimmers, several old lamps - all stacked on the kitchen table! (We had to start eating in the living room). 🤷

He collects anything vaguely ‘technical’ when he sees it. He’ll take a dirty old nail or screw if he stumbles across it on the street - and clean it, so he could ‘use’ it. He never does, but he has piles of rusty metal on the kitchen table…

He also refused to throw out empty plastic bottles or even empty milk/juice cartons!!! The former he used to keep mineral water in (which he would only occasionally get from a source in another town), and the latter were used for small kitchen-sink trash - but he had more than a steady supply stashed in the hall.

He retrieved - from the trash! - some of MY stuff that I’d thrown away, things like rulers and crayons I hadn’t used since elementary school (I was 20+ when I threw them out). I had to throw them out straight in the dumpster in front of my building when he wasn’t home.

Glad to hear there are more people like that. I thought he was the only one, and that it was a rare form of insanity, and that it’s hereditary… will my kids have it? 🙂
 
He retrieved - from the trash! - some of MY stuff that I’d thrown away, things like rulers and crayons I hadn’t used since elementary school (I was 20+ when I threw them out). I had to throw them out straight in the dumpster in front of my building when he wasn’t home.
I hear you! What is it with THAT!

The problem I am having at this point is that whenever I clear out a shelf or a drawer, something IMMEDIATELY takes over. So now “my” orderly, organized bookshelves, that have been purged of no-longer-useful books have interstitial volumes on completely unrelated subjects that relate to HIS interests! I pruned my wardrobe, and now my dresser has a drawer full of his brand newl, never worn, too-good-to-use clothes.
 
There’s a CAR in your garage? You can actually get a CAR in there?
Well, uh, I can actually get 3 cars in there! … the wife’s, my pickup, and the “project” car. If the project is in progress it takes two stalls, and I park in the turnout or on the street.

(A yard shed is a wonderful thing. All the bikes, mower, snowblower, gardening “stuff”, and camping gear is tucked away in there.)
 
I wonder how much I could get for those bullhorns on ebay? Shall I give it a shot? LOL Some other wife out there will go to bed hating me when her DH get’s those things in the mail. 😃
http://bestsmileys.com/lol/20.gif I know someone who would happily buy them…but his wife would kill me, if I told him about them… “But,but…But, honey, suppose we*** need*** them someday??”🤷 …Did you ever notice, it is never just “I want that” or “I like that”; it is “But I might need that someday”.
My stepfather saved a half a century’s worth of Wisk detergent bottles, just in case he ever needed them…You know, when they start selling detergent only to people who bring their own containers…
I still have a can of Crow Repellent that I found in the garage last week, after they picked up the garbage…It just “appeared”, on the garage floor. (I have no idea; maybe the http://bestsmileys.com/lol/25.gifRepelled Crows threw it there…)
40.png
mercygate:
On trash night (one grocery bag at a time), I take stuff three houses down the block so he doesn’t see it in front of our house. I’m in good company, I know other women who carry the trash off-site so that it won’t walk back into the house when they’re not looking!
My trashcans are available to all those married to packrats. (Hey, my:D local friends married to packrats throw out their trash here, 😉 why not a few more of you??)
 
Guys will be guys, however hoarding useless things and annoying the wife isn’t cool, so get rid of it, but perhaps talk about it first?
 
I still have a can of Crow Repellent that I found in the garage last week, after they picked up the garbage…It just “appeared”, on the garage floor. (I have no idea; maybe the http://bestsmileys.com/lol/25.gifRepelled Crows threw it there…)
That’s because clutter, like dirt, keeps floating to the surface as you begin to manage it.

I’ve been keeping SERIOUSLY after my bathroom since July but only just discovered the thin line of “fuzz” lurking along the edge of the join between the tub and shower door track. I never noticed it when the place wasn’t in sparkle-plenty condition.

Also, I find that what doesn’t go on the first round of clutter purging becomes eligible on the next . . . and so forth.

I’ll be dropping a bag of trash in your can tonight, if DH isn’t watching.
 
Okay, I knew I would find the right box, and I finally did. I found a picture of my face upon seeing my soon to be husband’s odd habit of many.

I am not going to go into all the items that he saves, but one I find oddly amusing for some reason, is the saving of ice cubes. If you could see the picture of my face, you would realize that it was before knowing of the other “collections” and you would have a better idea of what my face looks like now when I stumble over them, ect.

Yes, folks Ice Cubes. They get strained out of a drink, spooned into a freezer bag (the cost of which, I have not tabulated yet) and saves them for the next time he needs a cool drink which require ice cubes. I asked how this was cost effective and was told that it is the “right thing to do”.

Now, they did come in handy a few times when the old standard fozen peas bag labled with a big X on it (so we dont end up eating the old peas) can be used for minor injuries was buried. But- I think it was the first sign of a deeper problem I simply wrote off as “eccentric” and ignored (love is blind)

So, I assume cost is really not the issue as people have told me must be the underlying problem to this, comparing it to “depression baby syndrome” (which he is not old enough to be) and making all sorts of comparisons to everything but I really think its simply a bad habit he is addicted to, and the habit is in need of constant attention and adding to all the time.

We finally tossed out an old toaster oven that had seen its day in the sun.
I automatically grabbed the manual for it, and tossed it in full view of him to see what would happen. And, just as I guessed, he retreived it and put it back in the file of manuals. When I later asked why, he said, well if a garbage picker uses it, gets it to work, and needs more parts they may come back here and ask us for it. I said why didnt we just strap it to the thing when we threw it out if that is the real reason? I got, well- hindsight is a good thing, but lets not take a CHANCE on this. :mad:

URRGH.
 
Okay, I knew I would find the right box, and I finally did. I found a picture of my face upon seeing my soon to be husband’s odd habit of many.

I am not going to go into all the items that he saves, but one I find oddly amusing for some reason, is the saving of ice cubes. If you could see the picture of my face, you would realize that it was before knowing of the other “collections” and you would have a better idea of what my face looks like now when I stumble over them, ect.

Yes, folks Ice Cubes. They get strained out of a drink, spooned into a freezer bag (the cost of which, I have not tabulated yet) and saves them for the next time he needs a cool drink which require ice cubes. I asked how this was cost effective and was told that it is the “right thing to do”.

Now, they did come in handy a few times when the old standard fozen peas bag labled with a big X on it (so we dont end up eating the old peas) can be used for minor injuries was buried. But- I think it was the first sign of a deeper problem I simply wrote off as “eccentric” and ignored (love is blind)

So, I assume cost is really not the issue as people have told me must be the underlying problem to this, comparing it to “depression baby syndrome” (which he is not old enough to be) and making all sorts of comparisons to everything but I really think its simply a bad habit he is addicted to, and the habit is in need of constant attention and adding to all the time.

We finally tossed out an old toaster oven that had seen its day in the sun.
I automatically grabbed the manual for it, and tossed it in full view of him to see what would happen. And, just as I guessed, he retreived it and put it back in the file of manuals. When I later asked why, he said, well if a garbage picker uses it, gets it to work, and needs more parts they may come back here and ask us for it. I said why didnt we just strap it to the thing when we threw it out if that is the real reason? I got, well- hindsight is a good thing, but lets not take a CHANCE on this. :mad:

URRGH.
ROFL - OK I’ll shut up about the bull horns now.

I have to admit I am a instruction manual keeper, but I do toss them when I notice we have directions for a product we no longer HAVE.

But wait: your DH wants to keep it IN CASE a trash man comes by to get it? (psssst toss it when he’s not looking!) 😃
 
ROFL - OK I’ll shut up about the bull horns now.

I have to admit I am a instruction manual keeper, but I do toss them when I notice we have directions for a product we no longer HAVE.

But wait: your DH wants to keep it IN CASE a trash man comes by to get it? (psssst toss it when he’s not looking!) 😃
I did muse with the idea of telling him today- “Honey, guess what? That toaster oven? well, the guy who picked it out of our garbage, he came over today! Can you believe it? I am so happy I had the manual to give him!😃
You were right as usual hon. Yes, next time we will know how to handle this when something else knocks out. Yes hon, I love you, Bye!”

But, that would be lying,😦 Except for the love you part…

Unless- I somehow get around that- but I doubt I can.😦
 
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