Advice on disciplining cranky 15 yr. old

[maryj]

My daughter will be 20 in a few days and I learned a very long time ago to not talk to her unless absolutely necessary in the A.M. and I still hold tight to that practice. everyone is allowed to be cranky, do you really think she kicked that ball at you to hurt you or disrupt your driving, or was it her way of releasing that negative energy. I’m so glad you called her and apologized, even if it was her that made the mistake first. That is one thing about cell phones that I just love. when my daughter was in school I had to wait all day agonizing about what had happened, worrying that I had somehow ruined her whole day. As mothers I can think of nothing worse to feel!!! I’ll say a little prayer for you and her that tomorrow things go better. God Bless you and long live motherhood!!!

 

[SMHW]

I think we are all allowed to be cranky sometimes but that doesn’t give us license to be rude.

I think ideally you should have sweetly told your daughter, "Honey, you seem to be having a bad morning. Perhaps you don’t realize you are {list of things she is doing that are objectionable}. Hopefully that would give her the chance to examine and reflect on her actions. (Of course teenagers do go through stages where they are evidently unable to reflect on anything.)

Unfortunately you were having a bad morning too so I think it is appropriate that you apologized for perhaps over-reacting.

And yes, at some point when she is awake, make her aware of the fact that routinely failing to get enough sleep, proper food, etc are not fair to OTHER people if they result a tendency to bad behavior. If she can’t make wise decisions in this area you will have to do it for her.