Advice on going to church for Catholic friends

[Bluegoat]

My husband and I are quite involved in our church. We’re Anglican.

A couple who are good friends of ours recently asked us for advice on choosing a church. They had tried their local Catholic church,. I gather it was quite conservative, and people scared them off by being rather pointed about some issues in the family’s first few visits there.

As a bit of background, one is a cradle Catholic and the other converted before the marriage. Neither are really well-formed theologically, and don’t have what I would say was a theological way of looking at the world. To some extent this is a feature of personality - they are practically oriented people. As well, the Catholic spouse is a bit hindered by his upbringing with very nasty but strict Catholic parents.

They are thinking of going to a non-Catholic church. I am inclined to think this is a bad idea for a number of reasons, but I am not sure what to advise them from a practical sense. They need more instruction in Catholicism, but the one at least has already done RCIA. I think they have a lot of potential to grow in their faith if they can find a congregation that is willing to help them do that and not immediatly put them off. I’d hate to see them go somewhere with airy-fairy practices, but at the moment they would be considered cafeteria Catholics at best.

 

[JRKH]

First let me ask how you feel about the “re-union” possiblities between the anglican and Catholic Churches. Based on how you feel about this I see two possible peices of advise.

First that they should not judge the Catholic Church on just one parish experience.

Second, if they really don’t wish to go to a catholic Church then encourage them to go to the Anglican Church with you.
Since they are “cafeteria catholics” anyway, attending an Anglican Church would at least keep them closer to catholicism, at least in form if not in doctrine. Also it would allow you and they to discuss similarities and differences between the two.

Keep encouraging them to learn more about the Catholic faith.

I wonder if they would be interested in havnig access to the Catechism for when they have questions. If so send them this link.

scborromeo.org/ccc/ccc_toc.htm

I like this one because at the bottom of the page is a search engine specifically for the catechism (the one at the top is for the entire website). This way they can get specific answers and official answers to specific questions.

Peace
James

 

[jonpd]

I would advise them not to give up, perhaps talking to the priest at the Catholic church might help, to understand what it was that “people were pointed about”.

 

[Malleus_01]

My husband and I are quite involved in our church. We’re Anglican.

A couple who are good friends of ours recently asked us for advice on choosing a church. They had tried their local Catholic church,. I gather it was quite conservative, and people scared them off by being rather pointed about some issues in the family’s first few visits there.

As a bit of background, one is a cradle Catholic and the other converted before the marriage. Neither are really well-formed theologically, and don’t have what I would say was a theological way of looking at the world. To some extent this is a feature of personality - they are practically oriented people. As well, the Catholic spouse is a bit hindered by his upbringing with very nasty but strict Catholic parents.

They are thinking of going to a non-Catholic church. I am inclined to think this is a bad idea for a number of reasons, but I am not sure what to advise them from a practical sense. They need more instruction in Catholicism, but the one at least has already done RCIA. I think they have a lot of potential to grow in their faith if they can find a congregation that is willing to help them do that and not immediatly put them off. I’d hate to see them go somewhere with airy-fairy practices, but at the moment they would be considered cafeteria Catholics at best.

Malleus : First of all - the “Catholic upbringing” is a non issue. I come across people all the time who say - I was raised Catholic but now I am an (Insert whatever). Being a True Catholic means living your faith. Once baptised - you are Catholic for life. You cannot unbaptise anyone. But people fall away for various reasons just as people convert to the One True Faith for various reasons. What people should do and what they actually do or what we wish they would do are not always the same thing. Certainly , I would approach the sitiation by simply discussing the importance of the Catholic faith and the truths contained therein. I wouldnt worry too much about what they wind up doing. GOD 's grace will prevail for the worthy. We are obligated to relay the Truth and we are obligated to defend the Faith and to give good counsel and to pray for our friends and Family and fellow Christians and non Christians - on these things will we be judged - but ultimately its going to come down to GOD’s grace and their use of their own free will in conforming their own human will with the will of GOD. Plant the seeds of Truth. You may not see them convert or recommit but you may still be the one who has planted the seed that ultimately leads to that occurance. We as Catholics can use any excuse in the world for not being a good Catholic - but no matter who our parents are - there are Saints with worse Parents. No matter who our friends are - there are Saints who had worse friends. No matter how much of a sinner we are there are Saints that overcame worse sins. So my advise - Pray for them and be a good example for them and give them good counsel. But that is all you can do. And then they will develope that relationship with GOD or they wont. It is up to them.

Pax

 

[chris_molter]

Maybe ask other Catholics in the area about their parishes and see if they’d be willing to take them to Mass with them. It always helps to have a member as a friend when you go to a new parish.

If all else fails, they could try a TAC parish if there’s one in the area (they’ll be one of us soon enough… mwahahahaha!!)