Advice on Intrusive Thoughts

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POJIUJH

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Hello everyone.

This is difficult to explain, but the past 3/4 year has been somewhat difficult for me. Roughly a year and a half ago due to God’s Grace, the Sacraments and Our Lady’s prayers, God has won a victory over my sins against purity. Being released from that hell and after a long time of discernment I had decided to apply to the seminary for the Fall. I was one of the uncatechised, and so due to my new found greater understanding of the faith over the past number of years, this discernment of the priesthood and my own, unfortunately solitary nature, it had caused me to lose contact with all of my previous friends.

Now, however, after having decided against joining the seminary of this Diocese due to concerns of their orthodoxy, I have fallen out of contact with my previous seminarian friends and the others who were also on a vocational journey. I am now discerning a few different orders, but this process is very slow. Particularly with the distances needed to travel.

Unfortunately, the solitude and having nobody to talk to in any meaningful way is taking it’s tole on me a little bit. I have been inclined to be OCD with my work (very mildly, more just fussy, nothing diagnosable or anything of the sort) but unfortunately over these past months it seems to be getting worse with this seclusion, and I am having intrusive thoughts of my past troubles which take a lot of force and effort to get rid. This has caused me to lose my peace continually and is very draining.

Since I cannot talk to many others about this, I thought that it might be wise to make a thread on this forum to ask for advice if anyone could give any, and/or and prayers if possible.

Thank you very much in advance, any help is much appreciated.
 
Sounds like you are dealing with a lot.

Do you have a spiritual director helping you with your discernment process? He might be able to give you some personalized advice about this.
 
Hey, pretend you are a Priest in an Order that has taken the Vow of Silence.

POJIUJUH said** :
"the solitude and having nobody to talk to … is taking its tole on me a little bit.
I have been inclined to be OCD with my work … but unfortunately over these past months it seems to be getting worse, with this seclusion, and
I am having intrusive thoughts of my past troubles, which take a lot of force and effort to get rid [of].
This has caused me to lose my peace continually, and is very draining.**

If you have dropped out of plans to attend a certain Seminary, maybe you can reach out to one of your former seekers, and discuss your feelings with him (and, re-start a relationship with him).

It sounds like you are one of those people who thrives on interaction with other people.
If this is the case, then I think you will remain this way … until you find a Social outlet.

If I wanted Spiritual intercourse, I would reach out to a few of the fellow Parishioners in my Church.
Hopefully, there would be a couple people there who are deeply concerned with Spiritual matters.

But, if you are discerning some new Orders, it would simple to reach out and befriend one or 2 of those guys.

I, too, live most of my Life obsessing about old Sins.
When I am in it, those Sins swirl around me like a swarm of mosquitoes.
My Peace goes out-to-Lunch … and sometimes skips Dinner too.
I wish that I (and you) could get beyond this stupid Game.​

You haven’t explained what type of interaction you miss.
This would help me (and others) to recommend a course of action for you.
 
All sorts of thoughts can happen to us out of the blue…

the fact that a though happened to one- does not mean per se there was any sin.

And for mortal sin one needs not only grave matter, but full knowledge and deliberate (complete) consent…

(And some need some medical/professional assistance in this area…such as medication etc and often a regular confessor )​

Now…

For the next few moments --try real hard NOT to think of Apple.

then scroll down.

What did you think of?

An apple.

Even though your will was against it -you did not want to think of an apple.

Now back to unwanted thoughts…

The best thing to do with such thoughts is not to fight them directly --not fear that they will come—simply do not consent and simply and calmly turn to something else…(or it may be best to keep doing the good thing one is doing…like they come out of the blue when your at work …keep working …etc) (one can gently - conversi ad Dominum - turn towards the Lord).

Ignore such unwanted thoughts like one would ignore a *hissing goose *or a barking dog. One does not stop to argue with a hissing goose or a barking dog does one? No one keeps on walking…and at most laughs at them…

(as noted above the image there comes from a Carthusian Monk from centuries ago…)
 
Bookcat said:
…The best thing to do with such thoughts is not to fight them directly --not fear that they will come—simply do not consent and simply and calmly turn to something else…(or it may be best to keep doing the good thing one is doing…like they come out of the blue when your at work …keep working …etc) (one can gently - conversi ad Dominum - turn towards the Lord).

Ignore such unwanted thoughts like one would ignore a *hissing goose *or a barking dog. One does not stop to argue with a hissing goose or a barking dog does one? No one keeps on walking…and at most laughs at them…

(as noted above the image there comes from a Carthusian Monk from centuries ago…)
Click to expand...
Very good point, and very good advice. I will do this, it also reminds me of a quote from St Francis de Sales who also said something similar. I will have to find it again. I know that these things aren’t sins, but what causes me the most distress is that they are almost open temptations to sins, and so the effort to get rid of them needs to be far more fierce, which as you say, must be what is making them worse. Thank you very much for the insight on this.
 
4love2God said:
Hey, pretend you are a Priest in an Order that has taken the Vow of Silence.

POJIUJUH said** :
"the solitude and having nobody to talk to … is taking its tole on me a little bit.
I have been inclined to be OCD with my work … but unfortunately over these past months it seems to be getting worse, with this seclusion, and
I am having intrusive thoughts of my past troubles, which take a lot of force and effort to get rid [of].
This has caused me to lose my peace continually, and is very draining.**

If you have dropped out of plans to attend a certain Seminary, maybe you can reach out to one of your former seekers, and discuss your feelings with him (and, re-start a relationship with him).

It sounds like you are one of those people who thrives on interaction with other people.
If this is the case, then I think you will remain this way … until you find a Social outlet.

If I wanted Spiritual intercourse, I would reach out to a few of the fellow Parishioners in my Church.
Hopefully, there would be a couple people there who are deeply concerned with Spiritual matters.

But, if you are discerning some new Orders, it would simple to reach out and befriend one or 2 of those guys.

I, too, live most of my Life obsessing about old Sins.
When I am in it, those Sins swirl around me like a swarm of mosquitoes.
My Peace goes out-to-Lunch … and sometimes skips Dinner too.
I wish that I (and you) could get beyond this stupid Game.​

You haven’t explained what type of interaction you miss.
This would help me (and others) to recommend a course of action for you.
Click to expand...
You know, I think you’re right. I had also thought that diocesan would be the more social option compared to an order, but now I think it might be the other way around. Priests are sparse here, so they tend to live alone and interact with the community, whereas orders tend to live in a community and might also interact with others.

What I am considering is the Institute of Christ the King, they look like they might be a great mix of both. I have visited them too and they seem to be very good. They are quite far away from me though and traveling can be expensive, but maybe a week every few months would be good.

To be honest, I just like having good discussions about the faith. Or even ordinary chats that don’t exclude the faith. I am self employed and so the only conversations I tend to have with people is about the weather. That is fine though of course, I wouldn’t have a problem with that ordinarily, just in this present situation. Maybe it’s just direction I lack.

Thank you very much for the reply and the thoughts. You are helping me think things through as I write 😃
 
I have been dealing with this like this: I remind myself I am not supposed to be thinking like that. If they continue, I ask for help from Christ, Our Lady, and St Michael the Archangel. Repeat as needed, yes, sometimes just moments later!

Thank you for discerning a vocation 🙂
 
If your intrusive thoughts are regarding a habit or practice,is it possible to join a self-help group of similar experiences?
 
Come o Holy Spirit ,fill the hearts of thy faithful and enkindle in them the fire of Thy love.
Send forth Thy spirits and they shall be created,and You shall renew the face of the earth.

When I have intrusive thoughts I pray this prayer (name removed by moderator)articular and they are blocked,stopped in their tracks and I can think of them no more.It’s a real sweet relief.Praying for you.
 
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