Advice or prayer, please

[sparrowhawk28]

I am actively discerning religious life, but am also in love with someone. I feel more and more in my heart that I am called to be a nun, and that while I love this person I couldn’t really see myself dating him.

I am seeing him tomorrow and am planning on telling him that I am discerning, which is pretty nerve-wracking in itself. My feelings for him are strong and I’m not sure whether I should confess them to him. If he said he liked me in return, I do not think I would stop discerning religious life. So telling him would really be more to get all my feelings (which I’ve held for 2+ years) out, and to see how he feels as well.

Has anyone ever done something like this? How did you do it? Should I tell him I like him at all?

Please pray for me. Thank you!

 

[St_Francis]

If he does not know you have romantic feelings for him, do **not **tell him! It would be opening a door only to immediately slam it shut. Whether he has had or not had similar feelings for you, for you to tell him at the same time you tell him you are discerning the religious life would only potentially disrupt his thoughts about you for no reason at all.

 

[InThePew]

I think you need to be open and honest about your feelings for your sake as well as his.

In the early stages of my discernment of a vocation to priesthood, I met a very nice girl and had strong feelings for her (as she did for me). Although I felt called to priesthood, I still told her how I felt but, at the the same time, I also was up front about my vocational call. I firmly believe that it was God’s will for us to be together for that time and that it was beneficial for both of us.

So I guess what I’d say is just be open to God’s will, let Him guide you and try to not get in the way!

 

[sparrowhawk28]

Thank you both.

If he does not know you have romantic feelings for him, do **not **tell him! It would be opening a door only to immediately slam it shut. Whether he has had or not had similar feelings for you, for you to tell him at the same time you tell him you are discerning the religious life would only potentially disrupt his thoughts about you for no reason at all.

I can understand this. It’s one of my hesitations about telling him.

I think you need to be open and honest about your feelings for your sake as well as his.

In the early stages of my discernment of a vocation to priesthood, I met a very nice girl and had strong feelings for her (as she did for me). Although I felt called to priesthood, I still told her how I felt but, at the the same time, I also was up front about my vocational call. I firmly believe that it was God’s will for us to be together for that time and that it was beneficial for both of us.
So I guess what I’d say is just be open to God’s will, let Him guide you and try to not get in the way!

I have wanted to be open with him for so long, but I’m so terrified it will ruin our friendship. I don’t know how he feels about me either, so that’s holding me back in some regard. I know that God is willing this friendship, and it’s been such a blessing to know this friend. I will pray about it tonight. I am thinking of writing a letter to him explaining things, so that if I can’t speak about it but still want to tell him, he can read it.