Advice please: rotten extracurricular coaches: to tell or not to tell?

[PetraG]

Of course,it so much depends on the case…
Most of the time kids can handle it and very well alone.
My only advice is let the steam out going for a walk and talk a couple of days later, if necessary and on good terms.

The sports teams at most organizations our sons played for had a “24 hour rule.” Unless it was a mandatory reporting kind of issue (heaven forbid), the policy was that parents were expected to start with coaches and to wait no LESS than 24 hours before bringing grievances to coaches.

 

[graciew]

Edited:I misunderstood you.!
That is good,no less than two days…
Ours played sports too.
And we had no issues,they handled them. I just had a chat in two. opportunities,and it was very profitable for all. No problems.

 

[Erikaspirit16]

And of course when your kid goes to college, everyone he meets will be fair to him right? And when he gets a job, his bosses will always treat him fairly, right? And so when he comes up against a real jerk (which will be very, very, often), will he either a) deal with it on his own or b) run to mommy and daddy to help him out?

It seems to me you’re missing out on an extremely valuable life lesson: there are LOTS of jerks out there, and you have to learn how to cope with them.

 

[Clementine14]

I want to go up there and tell them my child does not want to participate, nor do I want my child to participate in an activity that involves this type of tyrannical behavior on the part of the people in charge. I also want to go to the school and tell them how the coaches are behaving.

“Tyrannical behavior” is telling kids to stop whining and complaining appreciate their parents?

I guess I’m not really understanding what the problem is. If a tough coach wants to let the new kids know what to expect, and that he expects them to act maturely, why is that an issue?

Honestly, I teach at the college level and I wish that more high school teachers (and coaches, I suppose) were a bit more “tough” on their students. Many of my students have not had the experience of having to discern what is a legitimate concern and what is a whiny complaint. Teaching kids to take responsibility for information about where to be and what to do seems appropriate for a high school student. Coaches don’t typically hold hands and neither do future bosses or college professors. It doesn’t mean they can’t be nice, but tough love isn’t always a bad thing.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Am I correct in assuming that this speech that your child is bringing up now is from half a year ago or more?

Talk to the adults. Talk to the coaches first and then the other parents.

 

[njlisa]

As a third-grade girl, I was in an instructional softball league. My coach grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me and yelled at me for striking out. I told my mother what happened and she immediately took me out of the program. No evidence other than my testimony was needed.

 

[Theo520]

So… to tell or not to tell?

Tell what?

That the coach didn’t prep the kids enough on the mechanics of how a ‘meet’ works?

I think you need something more substantial if you are going to lodge a complaint, something about their day to day coaching.

I assume the newbies have figured it out enough to be fine at the next meet, or they will be smart enough to ask questions of the more experienced players on the team.

That said, I wouldn’t hesitate to give the coach direct feedback that he can prevent the chaos next year by explaining the basics to newbies beforehand. But this is feedback, not a complaint.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

As a third-grade girl, I was in an instructional softball league. My coach grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me and yelled at me for striking out. I told my mother what happened and she immediately took me out of the program. No evidence other than my testimony was needed.

Physical assault reported immediately and a warning to appreciate what your parents do for you only retold 6 months later are a far cry from each other.

Not to mention that a 3rd grader is 7-9 and a 10th grader is 15-16