advice PLEASE.

[cmbertrand]

I’m very confused right now. I like this guy. He’s been a good friend of mine for a while. But there are a lot of factors that would make a relationship with him unwise. First of all, he’s three years younger than me (and I’m 16). Secondly, he’s catholic and everything, but he doesn’t go to church. Only with our school. He wasn’t really raised as a good catholic to begin with. And last, he has this perception that people can find their “other half” in a friend. That instead of being married, you can find your other half in someone of the same sex but not have a relationship with them. I honestly don’t get what he means, really. But he does swear he isn’t gay and that’s not what he means by it. But anyways, all of these things bother me and I don’t know why I still have feelings for him. I don’t want a relationship with him or anything right now, but I still think about him alot and I want him to like me. The whole situation is making me really upset and paranoid. I don’t think God would want me to be with this guy. So, how do I get him out of my head?

 

[tbcrawford]

Hi i dont know your family situation but do you have an older sister/grandmother/aunt you can speak to if not your mum?
I dont want to patronise you at all when i say you are young.As we develop and grow both physically & emotionally we do change in so many ways.It could be you have a "crush"type thing going on.It could be many things.I remember very well the strong feelings i used to have at your age.I still have those feelings but i developed & learned to control & understand them a bit more(not that much though,hee hee).
He has a different upbringing to you & will have formed different thought patterns to you.He will have a different set of values but you will have things in common.
If you want to persue him as a friend he will see from your example your set of moral values etc.by your actions.He may follow your example and follow a more Christ-like life,but he may not.
I really think it would be a good idea to talk to someone you trust wo can guide you with your feelings.
Pray to God for guidance and direction.I will keep you in my prayers
I probably havent been much help & im sorry but be his friend and let him see YOUR values in life and he can respect you.
God Bless

 

[dashso40]

He is too young for you…you can’t get him out of your head because you are young…don’t date him…eventually your feelings will fade…

 

[Nat2]

Hey - I know how you’re feeling - I’ve had crushes on guys younger then me *] and on guys older then me but it’s not about that.
No matter what age he is this guy doesn’t sound like the brightest [sorry ] First, he’s not going to church = no commitment/understanding for the best thing in his life [first reason not to like a guy] but you know that. I think you really know that this guy isn’t for you but you can’t help but to like him anyway.

I’m not going to lie - getting over him might take time. For me, I had the biggest crush on the guy who not only wasn’t Catholic but had NO respect for the faith and called me things like “closed minded” and “incompetent” for being Catholic and I still liked him. p) I knew this guy was a jerk *] but still, it hurt every time I signed onto chat a saw that he was on. I’m happy to say I’m totally over him without having to even block him & he and I was still friends. I just prayed really hard and God would take away the feelings I had for him and eventually they died. I realized that, “Hey - I’m a strong 16 year old girl. I don’t need some guy to make me happy” [cuz really - i liked him cuz he was one of the only guys I talked to ]]

Sorry If that wasn’t to clear…but my point was that - we have God. We don’t ever need anything else, He might eventually give us someone else, but right now - we are totally His!!! It’s beautiful if you think about it like that. Even though God can sometimes feel really far away, prayer is the greatest comfort and the best protection.

Again, sorry for the rambling - just one more thing - what really hit me about getting over my guy - i was praying & asking for God to send me some guy who loves me so much he would die for me - take a bullet for me. And then I went on this talk and the priest just said - “Jesus DIED for you!” right in the beginning and w0w did that hit me. I was like…“Natalie, you are soooo smart”

anyways…thanks for listening **