Advice Please

[Mirror_Mirror]

I think sometimes the concept of forgiveness gets misused, too. Someone has to ASK for forgiveness before we can give it! That’s the step so many people forget.

If we choose not to let the pain rule our lives any longer, to allow ourselves to heal and move on, that is valid and commendable. But that is not forgiveness, it is growing up and learning how to take responsibility for our own lives.

True forgiveness may not be possible in this lifetime, because the person who wronged us may never ask. And that is no fault of the person who has been wronged, because s/he was never given the chance to forgive. Human evil and weakness probably prevents a lot of forgiveness that might have been given, had it only been asked.

I have to disagree with you when you say that a person has to ask for forgiveness. You are free to forgive anyone for anything at any time. When reciting the Lord’s prayer, we do not say “forgive us our trepasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, when they ask for it.” We are to forgive as Christ forgave.

You must think that with someone that has abused you or has hurt you, they may not ever ask for your forgiveness. So are we to just hold onto that? That hurt, those feelings? Or are we to follow the teachings of Christ “forgive one another as I have forgiven you?”

Jesus Christ did not say many things while he was hanging on the cross, but one thing that he did say is “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they have done.” Did they ask for his forgiveness? No, but Jesus Christ, while dying for our sins, kept giving and giving.

 

[iamrefreshed]

I have to disagree with you when you say that a person has to ask for forgiveness. You are free to forgive anyone for anything at any time. When reciting the Lord’s prayer, we do not say “forgive us our trepasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, when they ask for it.” We are to forgive as Christ forgave.

You must think that with someone that has abused you or has hurt you, they may not ever ask for your forgiveness. So are we to just hold onto that? That hurt, those feelings? Or are we to follow the teachings of Christ “forgive one another as I have forgiven you?”

Jesus Christ did not say many things while he was hanging on the cross, but one thing that he did say is “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they have done.” Did they ask for his forgiveness? No, but Jesus Christ, while dying for our sins, kept giving and giving.

Forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things.

She may forgive her parents without their asking, but that does not mean she must move on as if nothing happened.

They NEED to make an effort for true reconciliation. That includes asking for forgiveness.

In your scenario, why go to confession? God forgives without our asking.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things.

Agreed! I did not mention anything about a reconciliation. Taking that step would be much more difficult in this situation.

She may forgive her parents without their asking, but that does not mean she must move on as if nothing happened.

They NEED to make an effort for true reconciliation. That includes asking for forgiveness.

I did not say that she should pretend that after she forgives them that it all goes away. I just mentioned it as a suggestion and a possible step to healing. That is not the conclusion, to me, it is only one of the steps towards a reconciliation.

In your scenario, why go to confession? God forgives without our asking.

When Jesus said “Father forgive them for they know not want they do” was not an end all statement. You must remember that Jesus gave the power to forgive men’s sins to his disciples. Following the teachings of the Catholic Church.

 

[iamrefreshed]

Agreed! I did not mention anything about a reconciliation. Taking that step would be much more difficult in this situation.

I did not say that she should pretend that after she forgives them that it all goes away. I just mentioned it as a suggestion and a possible step to healing. That is not the conclusion, to me, it is only one of the steps towards a reconciliation.

When Jesus said “Father forgive them for they know not want they do” was not an end all statement. You must remember that Jesus gave the power to forgive men’s sins to his disciples. Following the teachings of the Catholic Church.

I thought you implied forgiveness was a given without remorse on the part of the offending party. If I was mistaken, I apologize.

In fact, what I pointed out was the fact that Jesus gave the authority of forgiveness to His disciples for those who ASKED for it.

I found your example at Calvary incorrect. Jesus begged for their forgiveness, I don’t believe it was granted without some remorse on their part.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I thought you implied forgiveness was a given without remorse on the part of the offending party. If I was mistaken, I apologize.

In fact, what I pointed out was the fact that Jesus gave the authority of forgiveness to His disciples for those who ASKED for it.

I found your example at Calvary incorrect. Jesus begged for their forgiveness, I don’t believe it was granted without some remorse on their part.

No need to apologize, it is tough sometimes to expain via a forum everything that you have in your head.

I think that the example at Calvary is not incorrect. I am not sure how you are saying that forgiveness was not granted to them, Jesus, who is God, can do anything that He wants to do. If God accepted Jesus’ request and forgave them then their sins are forgiven.

True for one to receive the grace of God they have to repent of their sins, turn away from their sins.

I guess that we may interpret Calvary different.

 

[iamrefreshed]

No need to apologize, it is tough sometimes to expain via a forum everything that you have in your head.

I think that the example at Calvary is not incorrect. I am not sure how you are saying that forgiveness was not granted to them, Jesus, who is God, can do anything that He wants to do. If God accepted Jesus’ request and forgave them then their sins are forgiven.

True for one to receive the grace of God they have to repent of their sins, turn away from their sins.

I guess that we may interpret Calvary different.

You bring up some good points. I think I will have to seek answers in the Church’s teachings.

When I think about Calvary I’m now a bit confused.

Jesus “asked” God to forgive them. Does that mean He did? I don’t know. Jesus did not always get what He asked for of God. Remember He asked for something in Gethesemane.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

You bring up some good points. I think I will have to seek answers in the Church’s teachings.

When I think about Calvary I’m now a bit confused.

Jesus “asked” God to forgive them. Does that mean He did? I don’t know. Jesus did not always get what He asked for of God. Remember He asked for something in Gethesemane.

Good thing you are looking into it, because heaven knows ho many times I have interpreted things wrong. Let me know what you find out.

I agree with you that Jesus did not “get” everything that he requested from God. In the garden he begged his Father (begged Him) “Father PLEASE let this cup pass by me, not My will, but Yours be done.” We must remember that Jesus was here to do the Father’s will.