Advice to Help Those Who've Had Sex Outside Of Marriage

[baloou24]

Hi. My name is Lindsay and I’m a freshman in college. I have a great friend of mine that told me that he is questioning his faith. The root of it is that he’s convinced that he can not be forgiven for having sex outside of marriage. Someone Catholic in his past got angry with him and told him that he is going to hell. So he’s even more torn up with his Catholic faith.

My question is, Is there anything that I could say or do to help him? I’m not very good with my Apologetics but wouldn’t he go to Purgatory to be cleansed of his sins before going to heaven?

Also I’m nervous cause I may push him away from the faith even more. Got any advice?

 

[Neil_Anthony]

Is your friend willing to stop having sex outside of marriage? Or is he saying that since he continues in this sin, he doesn’t think he can be forgiven?

Remind him that Jesus said “In the same way, I tell you that there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who don’t need to repent.” Nothing would make God happier than to welcome him back.

Also remind him that in this day and age he’s hardly alone. In fact just to believe that fornication is a sin shows that God is working in him.

 

[baloou24]

No he hasn’t continued doing this sin. He feels really bad for it. He just started talking to me without really wanting to get anything out of it. However I had no idea what to tell him. It’s a very touchy subject with him. I can tell that this is rooted very deep within him.

 

[Sailka]

No he hasn’t continued doing this sin. He feels really bad for it. He just started talking to me without really wanting to get anything out of it. However I had no idea what to tell him. It’s a very touchy subject with him. I can tell that this is rooted very deep within him.

He is very conscientious, and too worried. All in the world he needs to do is to go to Confession. Confess Through a Priest, to be forgiven by Our Lord.** No sin is unforgivable.** And True confession, and the absolution that follows are the Best Mental Health medication available, Because he is Fully Forgiven. No guilt complex remains. The solution is so simple, and Ideal. Not confessing or leaving the Church unnecessarily is the worst thing to do.
What does he say about confessing through a Priest?

 

[Spots]

The root of it is that he’s convinced that he can not be forgiven for having sex outside of marriage

Can too.

He needs to talk to a priest/go to confession. Encourage him, support him, listen to him.

 

[baloou24]

What does he say about confessing through a Priest?

I’m not sure. But he is very turned off of the Catholic faith. I personally want to have somethings to say so when he asks again I have some answers to give him.

Chances are though he is not willing to go see a priest. However if I can plant the seed in his head for him to go. I will.

 

[Sailka]

Hi. My name is Lindsay and I’m a freshman in college. I have a great friend of mine that told me that he is questioning his faith. The root of it is that he’s convinced that he can not be forgiven for having sex outside of marriage. Someone Catholic in his past got angry with him and told him that he is going to hell. So he’s even more torn up with his Catholic faith.

My question is, Is there anything that I could say or do to help him? I’m not very good with my Apologetics but wouldn’t he go to Purgatory to be cleansed of his sins before going to heaven?

Also I’m nervous cause I may push him away from the faith even more. Got any advice?

The only thing he needs to do is to go to Confession, State his repentence, and be forgiven, all anonimously Through a Priest, By Our Lord himself. Simplest thing in the world. Solves All Problems, worries.

It is 100% false that one is doomed to Hell, Unless the person Refuses to repent for the sin, and does not Confess, be forgiven.
Top mental health experts have stated for over a Century that proper Catholic Confesson through a Priest is the Best ‘medicine’ in the mental health field.

Lets both pray for him!.

 

[Sailka]

I’m not sure. But he is very turned off of the Catholic faith. I personally want to have somethings to say so when he asks again I have some answers to give him.

Chances are though he is not willing to go see a priest. However if I can plant the seed in his head for him to go. I will.

The Problem is your friend is turned off to a mythical church that is not The Catholic Church. He does not understand the Basics of Catholicism, or Our Lord, or the Bible. Happens a lot; To me too, when I was in college. Big mistake to ignore/misunderstand the most ideal, idealistic organization in the world: the RCC. Am about to publish why: Every reason.

 

[1ke]

So why, exactly, would he believe the ramblings of one random person and let it impact his relationship with God rather than talk to someone knowledgeable such as a priest?

You cannot convince him of the untruth of something he is determined to believe. And, he seems determined to believe he is unforgiveable and that the Catholic Church is bad for some reason he has not shared with you.

It makes no sense.

 

[Sailka]

So why, exactly, would he believe the ramblings of one random person and let it impact his relationship with God rather than talk to someone knowledgeable such as a priest?

You cannot convince him of the untruth of something he is determined to believe. And, he seems determined to believe he is unforgiveable and that the Catholic Church is bad for some reason he has not shared with you.

It makes no sense.

How much sense did We make when we were teens, young adults? :tiphat:

 

[turtle18]

Actually, the only thing you can’t be forgiven for…is believing that you can’t be forgiven. That is far worse than the sin of premarital sex. If you believe you can’t be forgiven, you are basically rejecting every thing Jesus suffered and died for.

 

[jmcrae]

Actually, the only thing you can’t be forgiven for…is believing that you can’t be forgiven. That is far worse than the sin of premarital sex. If you believe you can’t be forgiven, you are basically rejecting every thing Jesus suffered and died for.

That’s a good point! If he stays in his current condition, things don’t look too good for him. But, if he goes to a priest for Confession, he will be just fine - he might even get to skip Purgatory, if he goes on to live a very holy life after he repents - St. Augustine did.

 

[Kevin42]

Hi. My name is Lindsay and I’m a freshman in college. I have a great friend of mine that told me that he is questioning his faith. The root of it is that he’s convinced that he can not be forgiven for having sex outside of marriage. Someone Catholic in his past got angry with him and told him that he is going to hell. So he’s even more torn up with his Catholic faith.

My question is, Is there anything that I could say or do to help him? I’m not very good with my Apologetics but wouldn’t he go to Purgatory to be cleansed of his sins before going to heaven?

Also I’m nervous cause I may push him away from the faith even more. Got any advice?

Just tell your friend that if Peter could be forgiven and chosen as the Church’s first Pope after denying that he knew Jesus three times-and pretty much abandoning him during the crucifixion-then he too can be forgiven for having premarital sex if he is repentant and confesses his sin.

Oh, and let us certainly not forget St. Augustine and the many sins like this that he committed. Yet, nonetheless, he was converted, repented, and became one of our Church’s best saints.

 

[newbetx]

Hi. My name is Lindsay and I’m a freshman in college. I have a great friend of mine that told me that he is questioning his faith. The root of it is that he’s convinced that he can not be forgiven for having sex outside of marriage. Someone Catholic in his past got angry with him and told him that he is going to hell. So he’s even more torn up with his Catholic faith.

My question is, Is there anything that I could say or do to help him? I’m not very good with my Apologetics but wouldn’t he go to Purgatory to be cleansed of his sins before going to heaven?

Also I’m nervous cause I may push him away from the faith even more. Got any advice?

Jason Evert has written a few books and made a few videos and audios on this subject. Do a quick google and you should find lots. Other Theology of the Body books would be helpful for him, too. Remind him that there are so many of us that were duped, but all we need to do is repent! God loves us and wants us back!

Tell him he’s far from alone on this and just about all of us are now in fine standing with the Church! I was so grateful when I was told that the Church is patient. She is! She waited for me until I was ready and brought me to Her with open arms and a repentive heart.

Peace to you and your friend!

 

[CatholiCommit]

Sounds like your friend is questioning his faith and whether or not it worth being Catholic, if he does that then he is leaving for no reason, there are people out in the world that are mean and can say cruel things to us whether we know them or not, but the thing is your friend needs to remember why he is Catholic to start with.

Giving up is no way to solve this dilemma, explain to him that there is hope for him, and there is something he can do about it, whether he believes such, however he has to want help, and no one can force him or it will only make matters worse.

Sex can be a powerful source that can get us into all kind of trouble, especially if we do this act outside of marriage, He has to be willing to stop and turn over a new leaf. maybe the first step for him might be a confession with the priest, or some counseling with the Priest to figure out how to get him back on the right track.

If he is like most people and has a heavy conscious then He will want to stop however if he continues it will make him feel worse.

Comments of a harsh nature from others who are Catholic should set a better example for others not make comments that could make a person decide if their faith is worth it after.

Your friend needs lots of guidance and he needs prayer for God to guide him in the right direction, maybe you could encourage him to pray, he will be glad that he did. This is not the worst thing he could have done although it is a bad thing if not careful.

 

[Maxply]

Geez, I think he’s probably feeling pretty crummy about himself, pretty depressed that he did this.

I would think a good confessor makes really good sense for him. Much better than going off the deep end, like it sounds he’s tending.

You know, he made a VOW, and broke it! That’s traumatic if you consider yourself a serious person.

 

[Sailka]

Indeed, big Negative statements can destroy people and lives. Whoever told him he is doomed to hell was heretical false ‘teacher’. No excuse, Ever, for such.
Our Lord is Love. Our Church is Love. Any priest would love to hear his confession and Our Lord Himself Wants to forgive him. Priests dont do the sacraments, or forgive. Only Our Lord does, through Priests.
He only needs to go to Confession through a Priest. Our Lord gave Power to Bind/Loose to the Apostles, and thus Priests.
Repentance/Forgiveness is not a do it yourself process, except if no one available, in emergency.

 

[baloou24]

Thank you to all of you that have replied… It is helping me figure out what to say to him when I talk to him about this. However I am not going to push and so I ask you who read this please pray that Brian has the courage to talk to me again. He needs to hear the truth. But right now he is not strong enough to ask. So please pray with me that he has the strength to speak and see a priest.

Once again thank you so much for your advice that you have given me.

 

[Sailka]

Thank you to all of you that have replied… It is helping me figure out what to say to him when I talk to him about this. However I am not going to push and so I ask you who read this please pray that Brian has the courage to talk to me again. He needs to hear the truth. But right now he is not strong enough to ask. So please pray with me that he has the strength to speak and see a priest.

Once again thank you so much for your advice that you have given me.

Will do! He is imagining problems that don’t exist. Priests hear Every kind of confession possible! And his mistake is one that is most hidden, worried about, Needlessly. Our Lord, a Priest, The Church Are the Easy Answers! Simple confession, and he’ll Feel the joy, freedom of Forgiveness By Our Lord. Maybe while chatting, joking with him, just throw in a casual: by the way,.is Easy solution to your concern. Go to Confession, Feel the Forgiveness! no problems. Priest hear these all the time.

 

[manualman]

Ask him if he thinks Mary Magdalene is in hell.

If not, why not? Most bible scholars still think she was the reformed adultress referred to in the gospels.