Advice to younger friend about sexual activity?

[CatholicCoffee]

Hi all,

I’m a 17-year-old, Catholic woman looking for help with an issue that recently came up in my social life. A 15-year-old, non-Catholic friend of mine recently confided in me that she & her boyfriend of two months had reached, as she phrased it, “third base.”

I responded with open dismay (I felt my smile drop instantaneously), as I’m greatly troubled by people - young girls especially - not knowing their own self-worth. I tried to make it clear that I disapproved of her choice, but I was in a bit of shock, so the only useful thing I could think of to say was, “Be careful. Be safe.”
Needless to say, I am disappointed with my lack of eloquence when faced with such a situation, but I was not expecting anything past the usual comments of, “He’s so cute!” that I usually hear from her.

She seemed to be at least partially happy with her choice, but it was almost as if she was looking for approval from me. I offered none, but now I wonder if I should do something more. Now every time she mentions going to see her boyfriend, I am struck with a feeling of uneasiness…
There’s a bit of a big-sister/little-sister relationship between us, so do I try to speak to her about it? I feel obligated, but I’m slightly wary about broaching the subject with someone who does not share my exact views on the subject.

May I beg some advice from anyone who bothered to read this huge post?

Thanks in advance.

 

[teachccd]

Just remind her that you love her as your friend but that you dislike what she is doing. Share with her your reasons for waiting to have sex and the consequences (spiritually and physically) of having sex this young and outside of marriage. A true friend should not have to worry that your comments of her well being might be offensive. Fifteen is way too young to be getting involved in that type of relationship and that is not just an opinion. Many girls end up with countless diseases, loss of self esteem and/ or pregnant. This guy is looking for a good time and if he really loves her he would never ask her to do such things.

Keep her in your prayers and stand firm on your beliefs. It’s better to lose a friend than to jeopardize a soul… teachccd

And if you do lose her as a friend then she was not your friend but a good acquaintance…

 

[1ke]

She seemed to be at least partially happy with her choice, but it was almost as if she was looking for approval from me.

Or she was looking for someone to give her a good reason not to be intimate with this boy.

I offered none,

Actually, you did offer approval. “Be careful, be safe” is tacit approval of the activity, “just don’t get caught.”

but now I wonder if I should do something more. Now every time she mentions going to see her boyfriend, I am struck with a feeling of uneasiness…

Yes, definitely do something. You need to be very black and white, not wishy-washy.

I suggest www.chastity.com and materials available from Jason and Christalina Evert. Pure Womanhood and Pure Love are excellent booklets, not too long and easy to read.

There’s a bit of a big-sister/little-sister relationship between us, so do I try to speak to her about it? I feel obligated, but I’m slightly wary about broaching the subject with someone who does not share my exact views on the subject.

Share your views. Someone this young and impressionable is looking for someone to tell her it’s OK to be chaste.

 

[vz71]

Of course, the morality of the issue is paramount.

But one thing I find absolutely nuts.
These children partake.
And then over the next few weeks they near sweat blood in the stress as the possible ramifications of what has been done sink in.

Then they discover she is not pregnant after all.

And then do the same thing again.

Why live such a stress filled life?