Advice with someone receiving communion

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OK there is a young man who lives in another state. He is a youth minister. His mother lives in my state, works as a nurse at a Catholic school and has told me personally that she is protestant. She used to be Catholic, but now attends her daughter’s protestant church. When he comes back to visit, she comes to Mass, she goes up, and receives communion.
I have thought of going up to her after Mass and saying something like “congratulations on returning to the Church” She would probably say she hasn’t then I would say innocently “oh, I thought I saw you receive.”

I am open to several ideas including shut up and mind my own business, or defend our Lord, I’m not sure talking to the priest would be a good idea because he does not know her by sight and she usually goes to an EMHC.

What do you all think?
 
A few thoughts for you:
  1. Whether the church knows or not that she shouldn’t take it, they won’t question her at mass. At best they would ask her not to at a separate time. Even then, probably not.
  2. For most people I figure it’s not my business. When I invite non-Catholic friends to mass I’m clear with them that it would be offensive to take communion. I leave it at that and let them decide for themselves. In those cases they always refrain.
    Often it’s lost on them why it matters since they take communion at their church. I explain it drawing parralels such as:
    “It’s like women going into a Muslim mosque without a head scarf.”
    “it’s like going into a Mormon temple without the right status.”
    “It’s like participating in a Jewish ritual that non-Jews aren’t suppose to partake it.”
    In all cases, we don’t agree with the religious view but if we don’t respect their wishes at their service, all we did was violate ‘Love your neighbor’. I’m quite certain Christ wouldn’t want any of his Christians disrespecting each other like that. If they feel that strongly they should take communion then they should go to their own church instead of pretending to respect ours.
  3. Having said all that, unless I have a friendship where I can politely inform them of the Church’s wishes I leave it alone. If I do inform them I do so once and leave it alone no matter what they do. There are probably many in mass each time who shouldn’t be taking it. I was in RCIA patiently awaiting initiation and first communion. Then at the holidays all these people I know aren’t there regularly walk up as if it’s nothing. I let it bother me until I realized that it’s still as sacred to me as ever no matter what everyone else does. Basically Jesus wants me to be the one that works the hardest for my wage. Once I accepted that I stopped being bothered by others.
Peace
 
Is it possible that she doesn’t know that she should not be receiving? I was raised Catholic but very poorly catechized. I believed for years that the only requirements to receive Communion was that you had to be baptized, had to have made your First Communion as a kid, and that you believed in the Real Presence. I was seriously never taught by my parents or my Catholic teachers that you can’t receive if you were in mortal sin- and I only thought mortal sins were things like murder or sex outside of marriage- I had no idea missing Church was a mortal sin. Until I returned to the Church and found this forum I had no idea that I had received unworthily the majority of the time and some of those times may have caused scandal to others which I deeply regret…

If you decide to speak with her about it, you may have to be more direct if her situation is that she was poorly catechized or she might not understand your point. Then again, maybe you could try your approach and if she seems confused or something you can go from there?
 
PenitentGrace said:
Is it possible that she doesn’t know that she should not be receiving? I was raised Catholic but very poorly catechized. I believed for years that the only requirements to receive Communion was that you had to be baptized, had to have made your First Communion as a kid, and that you believed in the Real Presence. I was seriously never taught by my parents or my Catholic teachers that you can’t receive if you were in mortal sin- and I only thought mortal sins were things like murder or sex outside of marriage- I had no idea missing Church was a mortal sin. Until I returned to the Church and found this forum I had no idea that I had received unworthily the majority of the time and some of those times may have caused scandal to others which I deeply regret…

If you decide to speak with her about it, you may have to be more direct if her situation is that she was poorly catechized or she might not understand your point. Then again, maybe you could try your approach and if she seems confused or something you can go from there?
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No, she knows.
As far as being poorly catechized I would think that would be part of the problem. I think she is of the mindset that as Christians we are all one. Her son is a knowledgeable and great Catholic. I can only imagine that he does not say anything because it is his mom and she is quite an opinionated woman.
As I understand it she does it with a " I believe I can" attitude.
I know that the “Catholic” way is to assume charity to the extreme. But I really feel that this is something that is done in defiance not ignorance.

From the little I have talked to her though it was apparent she is on the “liberal” side of things and that is why she left the Church.
 
I wrestle with this type of question myself, I wish I had a clear cut response for you but I can give you a passage in the Bible that caught my attention regarding such issues.

*Ezekiel 3:18-21

18 When I say to a wicked person, ‘You will surely die, ’ and you do not warn them or speak out to dissuade them from their evil ways in order to save their life, that wicked person will die for[a] their sin, and I will hold you accountable for their blood. 19 But if you do warn the wicked person and they do not turn from their wickedness or from their evil ways, they will die for their sin; but you will have saved yourself.

20 “Again, when a righteous person turns from their righteousness and does evil, and I put a stumbling block before them, they will die. Since you did not warn them, they will die for their sin. The righteous things that person did will not be remembered, and I will hold you accountable for their blood. 21 But if you do warn the righteous person not to sin and they do not sin, they will surely live because they took warning, and you will have saved yourself. ”*

It has made me think more than once if I “mind my own buisness” is it because I don’t want to come out of my comfort zone or am I truly being charitable.
 
I have never seen anyone take communion who I knew to be nonCatholic. In my former parish there was a lady that I saw for the 30 years I was a member never took communion. Once she told me she was a Baptist. After 30 years why not change? Once in a while my wife comes to mass and I told her she cannot take communion. She finds that offensive and reminds me that I am welcome to take it in her church (I do not).

When I joined my current parish I was not asked if I am Catholic. Nor have I ever heard anything that states I need to be one. I could be a Protestant who wants to attend the church close to my house without knowing the requirements. It is my belief that there are many who believe that they are Catholics (and devout ones too) but never actually knew that they really never joined.
 
In honesty from the point of view of God

would he think it really mattered if you are protestant or Roman Catholic? I think God isn’t worried by our categories we have given to ourselves 😃
 
I do recall one time seeing a girl, maybe 20, walked back from the priest after receiving communion. Our priest stopped giving communion temporarily to the next in line and with an upset look on his face took several steps toward her but she was quickly gone. It had to have been something bad but I never knew what.
 
we are all Christian… 🙂
… and what I like about the church of england is that we are the ones who decide if we don’t want to take it that service and there is no big deal about it if we do or not and the priest does not punish our sins further by refusing us communion because of our sins. Or the priest be punishing me pretty heavily right now where as instead he is there just waiting to guide and be supportive and communion can be a strength to aide us in our time of disgrace as such. People can get excommunincated but I think it would have to be something fairly big, though the more Catholic a church of england member may think themselves to be the more in line they will be with what you all think about it. I notice my last comment was deleted and I bear no grudge.🙂 Just a little suprised but it tells me alot about how you might be thinking of it all. It wasn’t a stir, just a simple fact, in my opinion and tells me how much you disagree 😃 .Peace be with you
 
and she may have done at a neigbouring church etc etc etc…
Not all Christians are to receive in the Roman Catholic Church I hope you add rather than just Church as we all go to Church 🙂 I know how it stands which was what my earlier post was about in reality, the one that got deleted. I am still convinced that God don’t see our labels… No offence:)
 
I would ordinarily dismiss it with the “well maybe she went to confession since I have seen her last.” However this happens 7 or 8 times a year. So if she is leaving the Church and coming back 7 or 8 times a year then she is getting poor spiritual direction. I don’t think this is happening. I think she is just prideful and disobedient.
However she could actually be doing it FOR her son and not want to create the "why doesn’t your mom recieve?’ Question for him. I never thought of that.
 
Just to say no offence taken 😃 I am happy

and err many are taught the Catholic Teachings - or so they firmly believe they do and that really confuses me because yes I go to anglican church and quite happy about that but many like to think themselves Catholic and on the surface everything appears Catholic and yeh well it is confusing a lot and its why I don’t go down that road. We say the Nicene Creed etc. We have one foot in each camp it could be said I guess. But honestly I take no offence at anything you said. ecclestical community means nothing to me if am being very honest. I just worship God in my parish church and the rest are all labels that others use. Yeh I Serve etc but all the labels make it very confusing and I know I can’t receive communion in the RC Church but you guys can in ours though you choose not to because of the teachings… Its why I say we are all Christian and why I did mean that I am sure God don’t look at our labels. The labels get everyone all very hot and bothered whereas we all believe in God and the Holy Trinity and that is the bit that matters really and if one or two people do take Communion in your church by accident though they seem to know what they are doing then no one is going to be punished for it are they? I am not meaning to stir but just get closer to the truth about that we all believe in God. Sorry you were upset. Ps glad you from UK and it be easier for you to understand church of england - anglican etc and all its confusions…😊 I really don’t mean to cause any offence. Sorry if it looked like it.
 
I just got off the phone with a good friend who knows them well. The son, is going into the seminary and is the only Catholic of his 5 siblings. The mom, was Catholic and has stopped practicing. The poor son is always defending his Catholic faith to his siblings, and mom. He went to a protestant religious college and held tight to his faith.
I really feel that it is a family situation and the son’s place to handle rather than any of us.
I am curious if anyone has the opinion that one should “protect” the Lord in the Eucharist no matter what and that if one knows another is receiving in this situation they have a duty to say something. I I were her EMHC my answer would probably be different. But as of know I think the situation is one where there would be more damage by saying something than not.

So a new question. If you were an EMHC would you withhold or say something to her?
 
Moore11 said:
So a new question. If you were an EMHC would you withhold or say something to her?
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1 Corinthians 11:26-32

26 For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

27 So then, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord. 28 Everyone ought to examine themselves before they eat of the bread and drink from the cup. 29 For those who eat and drink without discerning the body of Christ eat and drink judgment on themselves. 30 That is why many among you are weak and sick, and a number of you have fallen asleep. 31 But if we were more discerning with regard to ourselves, we would not come under such judgment. 32 Nevertheless, when we are judged in this way by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we will not be finally condemned with the world.
 
figs said:
.

*Ezekiel 3:18-21

18 When I say to a wicked person, ‘You will surely die, ’ and you do not warn them or speak out to dissuade them from their evil ways in order to save their life, that wicked person will die for[a] their sin, and I will hold you accountable for their blood. 19 But if you do warn the wicked person and they do not turn from their wickedness or from their evil ways, they will die for their sin; but you will have saved yourself.

20 “Again, when a righteous person turns from their righteousness and does evil, and I put a stumbling block before them, they will die. Since you did not warn them, they will die for their sin. The righteous things that person did will not be remembered, and I will hold you accountable for their blood. 21 But if you do warn the righteous person not to sin and they do not sin, they will surely live because they took warning, and you will have saved yourself. ”*
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This post along with the one just before this kind of lay it all out, but that doesn’t say it’s easy or popular
 
Moore11 said:
I just got off the phone with a good friend who knows them well. The son, is going into the seminary and is the only Catholic of his 5 siblings. The mom, was Catholic and has stopped practicing. The poor son is always defending his Catholic faith to his siblings, and mom. He went to a protestant religious college and held tight to his faith.
I really feel that it is a family situation and the son’s place to handle rather than any of us.
I am curious if anyone has the opinion that one should “protect” the Lord in the Eucharist no matter what and that if one knows another is receiving in this situation they have a duty to say something. I I were her EMHC my answer would probably be different. But as of know I think the situation is one where there would be more damage by saying something than not.

So a new question. If you were an EMHC would you withhold or say something to her?
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That is their private affair and shouldn’t have been posted by you here really without you asking them first and basically you should leave it with the priest and not make their situatiion as public as you just have done. It may have been something entirely different the priest reached out to the girl but then couldn’t reach etc and nothing to do with the communion at all but may have wanted to give reassurance in some way and the moment had passed and he was unhappy therefore. Their business is not yours and you had no right in probing about them to be honest.

If I were an EMCH I would give because it not the appropropriate time to withold if the communicant is throughly expecting to receive because nothing has been agreed before hand has it.

I think you probably need to drop it because basically you don’t know what is going off.
 
Moore11 said:
She used to be Catholic…
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She is still Catholic. She may not see herself as Catholic, but her baptism leaves an indelible mark, and the Church still sees her as Catholic.

What she is, is a Catholic not in a state of grace, or out of communion. But she’s still Catholic.

So her worthiness to receive or not is related to her being outside a state of grace. All she has to do is go to confession, in order to return fully to the sacraments.
 
englishredrose said:
That is their private affair and shouldn’t have been posted by you here really without you asking them first and basically you should leave it with the priest and not make their situatiion as public as you just have done. It may have been something entirely different the priest reached out to the girl but then couldn’t reach etc and nothing to do with the communion at all but may have wanted to give reassurance in some way and the moment had passed and he was unhappy therefore. Their business is not yours and you had no right in probing about them to be honest.

If I were an EMCH I would give because it not the appropropriate time to withold if the communicant is throughly expecting to receive because nothing has been agreed before hand has it.

I think you probably need to drop it because basically you don’t know what is going off.
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1 I didnt delete your post. I dont have the power to do that.
2 I am speaking of the Catholic Church, not the anglican one
3 I have kept everyone’s privacy in tact.

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut. But I dont think you are understanding the situation.
However, I agree that it is something that I should, and have dropped.
 
More11
I never said you had deleted my post 🙂 I know only forum mods can do that etc and hadn’t a problem with it if you read the replies which am glad have been left for partly that reason.

… Whether I was Catholic or not that is still my response as you asked as an EMCH what would you do. I would continue to have done the same thing because and EMCH cannot refuse communion to anyone based on nothing. To assume someone is in Sin because a priest looked unhappy toward her is more than unfair. As an EMCH it be wise to take it up with the priest in private later but that is all.

The rest of the matter should be dropped because no one here actually knows what is happening accept for the priest and girl who probably have no idea what they have caused simply because he looked unhappy at her. Its upto him to follow up is concern with her privately if he has one and nothing to do with anyone here to be honest even any EMCH but the main thing they can do in the future is seek advice from the priest about where they stand and that is that whatever Catholic or not.🙂
 
Moore11 said:
So a new question. If you were an EMHC would you withhold or say something to her?
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As an EMHC I would do neither of these things as it is not my place.
If I had any concerns, it is my duty to bring those concerns to the priest/pastor and then let it go.
 
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