Afraid God wants me to be a priest

[astroalbert]

I have felt similar emotions before. It is important to be open to where the Holy Spirit leads us… it always leads us to peace and love. Take things one day at a time, think about what your heart desires to do in this life to save souls: raising children and living one with your spouse, entering a religious community and living in fraternity with other religious Brothers/priests, serving your (a) diocese as a priest, serving the Lord as a single man, a permanent deacon… So many beautiful options, but always remember that we need to analyze our desires for our life, in order to better dialogue with the Lord and to better understand what God wants us to do in this life in order to best serve Him (my spiritual director was able to put this a lot better than I can). Maintain an open heart, never shut any doors, and be absolutely certain that any commitment you make in order to follow God will never be in vain, and will lead you closer to God.

Much peace and prayers,
Al

 

[NextElement]

I have the same problem as the original poster; I’m not sure if I’m meant to be a priest, but MAN would I give some awesome homilies!

 

[Iveinfo]

Hey. I have had the same fears. I have had people tell me I was gonna be a priest on different occasions in my life. A long story short I am a recovering alcoholic/drug addict and I was raised catholic and became agnostic through the years. I found God and became deeply envolved in a twelve step program. I had a very loving relationship with God and felt like my purpose was to help others like me. It brought me great peace. This fear or idea of the priest hood kept comming up. It disturbed me greatly. Plus being told that by people in my life didnt help. So when I talked to someone about it they said that maybe I have the calling. This scared me greatly. I was told of a priest that wanted to be something else but then got the calling. I was told he also wanted to get married but God ended up wining the war. I felt like since thats what happened to that guy then that must be what is happening to me. I became even more scared because God seems to hound a person with the calling until they give in. Like I dont really have a choice. It hurts me badly and I suffer greatly from this. This brings me to deep saddness and anger towards God and even feelings of hate towards God for putting this on me. I am not even a very devout Catholic but I do like helping people and carrying the message of recovery to others. I like to help people find God and tell them of the God found within. So this is a factor that makes me believe that maybe God is calling me to do it in the Catholic church despite my lack of sincere interest and life long desire to be married. But it creates such havoc for me emotionally and has put a big strain on my relationship with God. My parents and friends have seen the awful emotional wreck I get in when this happens to me. Man I dont want to be celibate but at the same time I know That I am not in charge and that God is and that in order for me to have any kind of quality life I have to do what He wants. So I feel trapped in this misery and pressured to go do despit how it makes me feel. Like maybe if I just surrender and go do it I can have some peace in my life. It angers me to think that is how all this works or that God is an opressing diety that burdens you to no end until you give up evrthing that you have hoped for (a marraige and a family) to do something like that. I feel like there is no reason to hope for anything in life that you may want even if you follow God because what is the point? God might just force you into something you dont really want to do. He may just burden you with a heavy wieght on your heart to do something that is not truly desired by you to do no matter how it makes you feel.Its all very sadding to me but I feel like I may have to any way because of how I have to do what God wants me to do beacause I have to in order to stay sober and not wreck my life. I feel stuck with no real peace where I use to have that in God now it has become like feeling like I dont have a real choice. Like I am obligated to chose the more selfless thing. But it makes me very unhappy to think that I have to make that choice out of loyalty to God.

Maybe you have a vocation… but when I read “drug addict”, “alcoholic”, “agnostic”, “not very devout”, “this causes me suffering”, “forced”, “don’t want it” this doesn’t sound like what a vocation sounds like. It sounds more like your conscience trying to get you to change your life and convert.

It’s not to say that you can’t have a rough life and then end up a priest - look at Fr Calloway with the Marions… But he converted, changed his life, and finally wanted to be a priest.

The universal call is to holiness and you’ll be judged based on this, not on your vocation. What God does to your conscience is at times something beyond our understanding. Maybe what you feel right now is him trying to get your attention.

Fr Gallagher has some great books and free podcasts on discernment (just google his name and “discernment”) if you are really hung up on the vocation thing, but I’d worry about your spiritual life and get to the point where you can really make a free decision about your vocation, whether that’s to marriage or something else.

 

[CanMan86]

Hey. I have had the same fears. I have had people tell me I was gonna be a priest on different occasions in my life. A long story short I am a recovering alcoholic/drug addict and I was raised catholic and became agnostic through the years. I found God and became deeply envolved in a twelve step program. I had a very loving relationship with God and felt like my purpose was to help others like me. It brought me great peace. This fear or idea of the priest hood kept comming up. It disturbed me greatly. Plus being told that by people in my life didnt help. So when I talked to someone about it they said that maybe I have the calling. This scared me greatly. I was told of a priest that wanted to be something else but then got the calling. I was told he also wanted to get married but God ended up wining the war. I felt like since thats what happened to that guy then that must be what is happening to me. I became even more scared because God seems to hound a person with the calling until they give in. Like I dont really have a choice. It hurts me badly and I suffer greatly from this. This brings me to deep saddness and anger towards God and even feelings of hate towards God for putting this on me. I am not even a very devout Catholic but I do like helping people and carrying the message of recovery to others. I like to help people find God and tell them of the God found within. So this is a factor that makes me believe that maybe God is calling me to do it in the Catholic church despite my lack of sincere interest and life long desire to be married. But it creates such havoc for me emotionally and has put a big strain on my relationship with God. My parents and friends have seen the awful emotional wreck I get in when this happens to me. Man I dont want to be celibate but at the same time I know That I am not in charge and that God is and that in order for me to have any kind of quality life I have to do what He wants. So I feel trapped in this misery and pressured to go do despit how it makes me feel. Like maybe if I just surrender and go do it I can have some peace in my life. It angers me to think that is how all this works or that God is an opressing diety that burdens you to no end until you give up evrthing that you have hoped for (a marraige and a family) to do something like that. I feel like there is no reason to hope for anything in life that you may want even if you follow God because what is the point? God might just force you into something you dont really want to do. He may just burden you with a heavy wieght on your heart to do something that is not truly desired by you to do no matter how it makes you feel.Its all very sadding to me but I feel like I may have to any way because of how I have to do what God wants me to do beacause I have to in order to stay sober and not wreck my life. I feel stuck with no real peace where I use to have that in God now it has become like feeling like I dont have a real choice. Like I am obligated to chose the more selfless thing. But it makes me very unhappy to think that I have to make that choice out of loyalty to God.

My best advice for you is to seek out a priest or spiritual director to talk to about this. Your problem isn’t that God is calling you to be a priest. Your problem is that you have no peace. Based on what you wrote I see no reason to think God is calling you to be a priest.

These are my thoughts… BASED ON PERSONAL EXPERIENCE…

My question for you is… are you depressed? You seem to suffer from scrupulosity. I find a correlation between scrupulosity and depression in my life. The happier I am the less I get into these type of thought loops. Maybe you need to do more things that make you feel happy. Get out. Play sports. Go dancing. Serve the poor. Get the focus off of yourself. You are stuck in your head way too much. Remember this, YOU ALREADY ARE A PRIEST as you were baptized into the priesthood of Jesus Christ. How can you worry about becoming a priest when you already are one?

With all that said. Go talk to a priest. He will help you put your mind at ease and show you how to know what God wants you to do with your life. Don’t worry brother, it will all be ok. You just need to learn how to quiet your mind. If you beat alcoholism you will surely be able to beat this problem. This is a problem with your thinking more than anything else.

 

[His_helpmeet]

It sounds as if you really need spiritual direction. A good spiritual director will be able to give you proper advice in this area.

I have had 3 male acquaintances who had considered the priesthood at one point. (One was living with the Basilian Fathers for a time, another was in the seminary.) All three got married. I know a woman who was considering a vocation and lived with the Sisters of Sion for a year when she was in university. If she had entered the convent, she would never have married my father and had me - she is my mother. I had seriously considered the religious life from the time I was about 9 or 10 until I was 16. My grandfather died of terminal cancer and my father was diagnosed and treated for a non-fatal cancer at that time. I realized that God was calling me to become a nurse. Today, I am a practical nursing instructor, I’m married, and I have a beautiful 9-year-old stepdaughter.

As a child, I left my future up to God, telling Him that I would do whatever He wanted. I believe that God has a plan for each of us. Whether or not we choose to follow that plan is up to us, but if we act in harmony with it, it will become the surest and most direct route to heaven, and will bring us the most happiness in this life. I feel true joy in my life now, and I firmly believe that it is all due to Him. I used to worry that I would never get married - then I met my husband. God will lead you if you choose to follow Him.

 

[emanuelGeorge]

Hi i am 21 years old and every girl i try to get with fails…

I am afraid that god is stopping me from having a girlfriend and eventually marry which is what I DEEPLY DESIRE!!!
Im afraid he will block me from doing this ti make me a priest.

I feel depressed when i think i cannot get married because i have to be a priest!

every now and then these worries come up… PLease help!

 

[His_helpmeet]

I know this is going to sound very cliche, but I assure you it’s not meant to. I’ve been where you are. I had a deep desire for marriage but it seemed as if the “right man” was not to be found. I believed God might be calling me to single life, although I felt deeply unhappy about it.

When I was 25, I met a wonderful man who is just about everything I wanted in a husband (and some things I needed, but didn’t know it!). We met online in 2009 and were married in 2011.

If it is your deepest desire to be married, I encourage you to continue praying about it. St. Anne’s intercession can be very helpful for finding a good spouse. (St. Anne is the mother of Our Lady and patron of housewives.) If that desire is truly from God, He will kindle and increase that desire, and He will help you to find someone to marry. 21 is still young (I’m 29 myself) so you don’t need to be in a massive rush. God brought someone into my life when He knew we were ready for marriage. For now, you would do well to begin preparing yourself to be a good husband and father.

 

[Iveinfo]

Hi i am 21 years old and every girl i try to get with fails…

I am afraid that god is stopping me from having a girlfriend and eventually marry which is what I DEEPLY DESIRE!!!
Im afraid he will block me from doing this ti make me a priest.

I feel depressed when i think i cannot get married because i have to be a priest!

every now and then these worries come up… PLease help!

The fact that you can’t find a girlfriend is not a sign of a priestly vocation. If that’s the only thing, the quit worrying about the priesthood and just focus on your spiritual life.

And remember that a deep desire to get married probably means you have a vocation to such.

God doesn’t want to make you miserable, there is probably something else going on in your life. Find a good priest fit for spiritual direction and start working on your spiritual life.

 

[Jr062910]

Emanuel George. I had the exact same thing happen with me. I thought that Iwas alone because maybe God wanted me to be a priest. I was dating a girl and very close to God. The closest I have ever been. We talked about marriage and when it didn’t work out those thoughts and fears came back up. When I talked to someone about it I was told that I may have the calling. I didn’t know what it was and I read some things on line about it and I was able to relate to some of the signs. The signs that I read about and could relate to are not that positive but I started thinking Oh my God I may have the calling. I got seriously depressed and completely filled with fear. My relationship with God has suffered to the point of a desperation. Hate and resentment towards God. But I feel stuck in this attitude of its Gods will not mine. I have spoke to priest and vocation directors. Most of them said this is not how God works. I had a vocations director tell me he wouldn’t even give me an application because of the rebellion that I have towards this idea. But I still suffer from this greatly. Its been over a year and it still haunts me. My spiritual life and emotional condition have gone done the tubes. Its a horrible place to be in. To feel like I don’t want to do it but I may have to because it may be Gods will. Like maybe I should because its an unselfish thing but man does it cause me some serious emotional problems. I feel your pain on that. I wish I had the answers for you. And to Kovacs725 the young man didn’t say he wanted to preach the faith. He said he was scared to open up to gods will out of fear that he might have a calling to be something he doesn’t want to be. With all do respect how is that not a sign that he is not being called? That’s one of the reasons I am confused because of things that I have read. Like God might be using your fear to make you into something that you fear to be. Like he is using your fears to accomplish what he wants in your life to turn you into the very thing you fear of becoming? Why would God do that to a person?

 

[lukemattsean]

The fact that you can’t find a girlfriend is not a sign of a priestly vocation. If that’s the only thing, the quit worrying about the priesthood and just focus on your spiritual life.

And remember that a deep desire to get married probably means you have a vocation to such.

God doesn’t want to make you miserable, there is probably something else going on in your life. Find a good priest fit for spiritual direction and start working on your spiritual life.

thank you so much for your help and advice, I appreciate it, and pray for me!!

 

[lukemattsean]

I know this is going to sound very cliche, but I assure you it’s not meant to. I’ve been where you are. I had a deep desire for marriage but it seemed as if the “right man” was not to be found. I believed God might be calling me to single life, although I felt deeply unhappy about it.

When I was 25, I met a wonderful man who is just about everything I wanted in a husband (and some things I needed, but didn’t know it!). We met online in 2009 and were married in 2011.

If it is your deepest desire to be married, I encourage you to continue praying about it. St. Anne’s intercession can be very helpful for finding a good spouse. (St. Anne is the mother of Our Lady and patron of housewives.) If that desire is truly from God, He will kindle and increase that desire, and He will help you to find someone to marry. 21 is still young (I’m 29 myself) so you don’t need to be in a massive rush. God brought someone into my life when He knew we were ready for marriage. For now, you would do well to begin preparing yourself to be a good husband and father.

Hi thanks for the reply, and for the advice, i do appreciate it. and pray for me!! thank you!

 

[emanuelGeorge]

The fact that you can’t find a girlfriend is not a sign of a priestly vocation. If that’s the only thing, the quit worrying about the priesthood and just focus on your spiritual life.

And remember that a deep desire to get married probably means you have a vocation to such.

God doesn’t want to make you miserable, there is probably something else going on in your life. Find a good priest fit for spiritual direction and start working on your spiritual life.

thankyou so much!