Afraid I would not be a good father? Not fit for marriage? Called to Priesthood instead?

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kapp19 said:
Third, you will not have success converting your family members. It is almost a guarantee. They know you as “the carpenter’s son,” and if they don’t try to “throw you off a cliff” then they will typically just politely ignore you. Don’t worry about converting Nazareth… it’s not exactly your responsibility.
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NevermoreLenore said:
But I believe He guides us one step at a time to increase our faith.
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+1 Great advice. It’s really easy to romanticize what a particular path will be (whether it is the priesthood, the married life, or converting loved ones) but our life’s path is usually not that simple.

Our cross to bear is our challenges. Sometimes I just am not that easy to live with - I am working on changing that for my wife’s sake. But I will say that sometimes you just have to accept one step at a time to see where the path leads instead of the path being revealed to you right away. But whether you like it or not, God can take everything away from you and where’s your joy going to come from? Your joy needs to be rooted in God so that even if everything is taken from you, you still have joy.

Sometimes, we are to lead our own path and God doesn’t answer yes, no, or even maybe. He stays silent allowing us to grow in our faith with Him; sometimes he makes us stronger by NOT giving direction.
 
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Jen7 said:
Why should you feel fulfilled?? I don’t think a persons fulfillment is what God has in mind when he calls a person. I doubt our Lady felt personally fulfilled in her vocation… or St. Thomas More (his first wife died and his second wife sounded difficult to live with)… or St. Francis Xavier who hardly made any converts but preached faithfully for years. Our calling is to a particular CROSS.
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This is dangerously close to a whole slew of serious errors, and an ethic that can absolutely destroy someone who struggles with anxiety and depression… While true that we are called to embrace a particular cross, the cross we are called to embrace should be extremely fulfilling because we are moved by charity to pick it up and carry that cross in particular. Done rightly, it is pleasant and easy.

Kant is wrong about ethics.
 
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kapp19 said:
While true that we are called to embrace a particular cross, the cross we are called to embrace should be extremely fulfilling
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I don’t think adult life is supposed to be “about us” such that our cross fulfills us. I have a friend with a severely handicapped child. She didn’t choose that and I doubt it fulfills her but that’s not the point. She’s probably a saint.
 
There is a huge difference between feeling depressed and being in a real depression.

If someone is really in depression, I don’t think that anyone will let him becoming a priest. Depression is a serious illness where working normally is compromised and it some killed themselves.

Anyway, we don’t come to the holy orders just because we feel guilt of not becoming a priest or because we want to convert or correct our relatives’s unfaithfullness. It would probably feel very superficial reasons in some years.

Yet, if you are really depressed, I suggget to consulut a psychologist and a doctor. You should let your illness under control mostly if you want a family and before you try to enter in the workforce.Having a family and working/ or search a job can let you more down than everything.

If you are just depressed, maybe try to find a way to change toward a more positive attitude over life. Maybe start with a psychologist.

Of course it is easier to said it than to succeed in it.
 
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Jen7 said:
I don’t think adult life is supposed to be “about us” such that our cross fulfills us. I have a friend with a severely handicapped child. She didn’t choose that and I doubt it fulfills her but that’s not the point. She’s probably a saint.
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A cross handed to us directly by the Lord is indeed “about us” - it is designed with the individual in mind to make him or her charitable. And charity is the most pleasant virtue when fully lived… Not that all other things are pleasant, but love makes all things easy.

Anyway, we should certainly not go looking for what makes us miserable. That would be a bit presumptuous of grace, and just plain silly.

I’ll have to leave it there.
 
Priesthood isn’t the backup plan for guys who feel they’re too inadequate to be husbands and fathers.

Priesthood is for guys who want to be priests so much that they’re willing to give up having a wife and kids, or so much that a wife and kids aren’t even on the radar screen for them.

Priesthood also isn’t a magic bullet where by being a priest you somehow save your family or the world from Hell. You can expect priesthood (and everything else you do in life) to be pretty much like Rudyard Kipling’s “If” poem.
 
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