Afraid of confession, please help

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Chamomile

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Hello all,

I suffer from a terrible form of OCD that gives me the worst, most terrible thoughts possible. These thoughts feel intrusive 99% of the time, but that 1% feels quite deliberate. Either way, I am terribly afraid of going to confession. As a child I went through some rough things. I had an amazing family, loving, reaponsible parents, lovely siblinglings, so it had nothing to do with my immediate family. Either way, as a child these things I went through made me have some odd behavioirs for which I feel guilty as an adult. I’ve confessed everything in the past, but I believe that most of my confessions as a teenager were not good. I feel the need to make a confession regarding all the sins of my life, but I am afraid that hearing my behavioir as a child and then hearing about my OCD thoughts, the priest will believe that I am dangerous to my baby. I have been suffering terribly because I want nothing more than to go to confession and be in the grace of Our Lord, but I feel nothing but fear that the priest will not believe me and will do something to take my baby away from me. I would die of grief if my baby was ever taken away. I need a confessor because of how my OCD affects my confessions, but I just can’t shake the fear that my confession could affect my family. Please help, I don’t know what to do.
 
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I am in therapy, and it was my therapist that recommended going to confession to a regular priest. I do not have a spiritual director
 
This sounds quite extreme. I hope you are getting professional help for the OCD, although having had at least a moderate case myself for several years I understand that the circumstances may make that much easier said than done.

The fears involved with OCD are of course irrational, unshakable as they can be-- as difficult as it is confession is what will help you spiritually when you need it; therapy or the care of a professional in terms of the OCD.

You’ve also recognized already the impact this disorder has/will have on your confessions and spiritual life as a whole, which is good because certain kinds of OCD can lead persons to use the confessional improperly as the means for managing the anxiety-- never a good thing.

Edit- Your therapist’s advice to confess to one priest regularly and presumably to follow his guidance for spiritual matters is good in these cases.

Anyway, praying for you.
 
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Please, please do what your therapist says, please. I beg you, please.
 
I second this advice.

‘Shop around’ in your area to see what you can find. Maybe call the Diocesean office and ask if there’s a priest experienced in such matters.
 
I want to, believe me I truly, truly do. I could never forgive myself if it affected my husband and my baby though. I keep seeing images in my mind of her being taken away from me, of seeing her crying and it paralyzes me. I’d rather suffer until the end of the world than have that happen.
 
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You know the priest legally cannot report what he hears in a confession because of ecclesiastical privilege, and that anything he’d say would be inadmissible if he did say it.

My advice is to get off the internet for the rest of the night, and go to sleeep.

Please trust your therapist. Please trust your therapist.
 
I’ve tried, my therapist even tried helping me find someone. Unfortunately, the form my OCD has taken is not very known even to a lot of therapists and all my therapist said was “ hopefully we can find someone who is willing to learn”. I even had the courage to almost speak to a priest about this, but he was so busy that I lost all my courage to speak. My family, my husband, my therapist they all know about my illness. I am not hiding anything, which is the only thing that gives me hope that a priest will believe me. I am terrified, and feel completely alone.
 
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I do trust her, she’s done a fantastic job. My OCD is almost completely under control since I started working with her. I almost feel as though I am back to normal. The main issue remains confession, which is why she recommended finding a regular confessor to prevent me from repeating confessions.
 
I am so happy for you. I pray that you will go to confession at one church with a confessor with whom you are happy
 
Well, it’s quite early where I live and my little one is still awake. Unfortunately, I have a few more hours to worry. But I do appreciate your good advice and wishes. Thank you!
 
Prayers it all works out for the best 🙂 It sounds like your therapist is on the right track.God bless.
 
I know she is. I know this is the last step to completing my treatment, and healing my soul to be honest. I thank you for your prayers, but I don’t see myself having the courage to go through if it puts my child in danger. Absolutely not
 
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Chamomile said:
I thank you for your prayers, but I don’t see myself having the courage to go through if it puts my child in danger. Absolutely not
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It was mentioned before that a priest cannot break the Seal of Confession. To put it another way, I would assume you’ve mentioned some if the things that are making you worry to your therapist. And as you would know, your therapist keeps confidentiality. So when you come to a priest, they have an even stricter confidentiality. So when you go to a priest, talk about your fears. They’ll reassure you that nothing you say to them in Confession will be repeated elsewhere. And trust him. Please trust your therapist and please trust the priest you find.
 
I have spoken to my therapist about the thoughts extensively, even about my childhood. Obviously, I have not confessed my sins to her or anything like that, but she absolutely knows my worries. I know about the seal, I don’t even mind speaking to him outside of confession if only he would believe me. I know I have no desire to act on my OCD thoughts whatsoever. In fact, I almost wosh I could speak with him outside of confession about it all so I could ask for more detailed advice and speak more in detail of things since what I want most is to finally beat this thing. Like I said, my husband knows about my OCD, the thoughts it makes me have, and even some of my worse sins since part of my OCD was that it makes me confess things. I feel safe and I know my baby is safe. But I have seen a couple stories lf priests who broke the seal, and my fear is that the priest either won’t believe me or will not want to help me.
 
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nut up & go to confession, shipmate

you’ll’ve found it is really not that big of a deal

you will feel like load of bricks has been lifted off your shoulders
 
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this is such an issue around here

just as much as the “other one” the the 1,000 threads on “m…”

wheeew…
 
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