afraid of Confession....

[Monica4316]

Hello

it’s been around 3 months since my last Confession (I haven’t been receiving Communion either, though I’ve been going to Mass and praying… long story) - and I have kind of a long list… I’m planning on going to Confession this Saturday and I’m terrified. The main thing is the length of the list… I don’t know how to get through it all in time. I’m having trouble distinguishing between mortal and venial sins right now so I just want to say them all. I’m really kind of struggling spiritually and I know I need the Sacraments… but do you have any advice on how to get through the list …or anything else? If you have a moment please say a prayer for me… thank you!!

 

[MargeretMarina1]

You are not alone in your struggles with confession. It might be helpful to think about the nature of the sins you would like to confess. You might notice a common theme or area of life that your struggling with which has led to a group of similar sins. Instead of having to list each individual act you could instead discuss these common themes with your priest. If you need to space your confessions out to get everything in, I would definitely confess the mortal sins first. The Catholic encyclopedia on this website might help you determine the difference between venial and mortal sins. Hope this helps! God bless.

 

[svid]

Of course we’ll pray for you. And you pray for you, too!

 

[Ed_Normile]

Think of it this way, what is the only being that would want to keep you away from the gift of the Sacrament of Absolution and Penance? That would be the devil. The priest will neither be shocked or unforgiving at your confession, he has heard it all before. Make a good examination of your conscience, ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in your confession.
This Beatitude Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. sounds like something to think about, you are hungering to be righteous that is why you want to go to confession and your abstaining from communion shows your righteousness as you would not profane the Sacrament by receiving it unworthily.

Confess your sins with an honest and open heart, receive the grace of the Sacraments with a firm intention to abstain from sin, and if you fail again realize that you are human as God made you and He loves you as His creation and there is nothing that will change that.

God bless you.

ed

 

[revert_jen]

There is no time limit for confession. It is not a race, and the priest has certainly heard long lists before.

It’s better to be safe than sorry, so if there is a chance a sin is mortal, you should confess it. There is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with confessing venial sins. Also, you could ask if it is mortal.

But if you are worrying about it, you could call the church and see if you could set up a special appointment for confession, when there would be no time limitations. That would usually mean that you would be face-to-face, or at least that the priest would know who you are. Sometimes people aren’t comfortable with that, but if you could do it, it might be better, because it might be easier to discuss whether sins are mortal or venial. Then you’d start getting a better feel for it.

God bless you!

–Jen

 

[hxcCatholic413]

Hello

it’s been around 3 months since my last Confession (I haven’t been receiving Communion either, though I’ve been going to Mass and praying… long story) - and I have kind of a long list… I’m planning on going to Confession this Saturday and I’m terrified. The main thing is the length of the list… I don’t know how to get through it all in time. I’m having trouble distinguishing between mortal and venial sins right now so I just want to say them all. I’m really kind of struggling spiritually and I know I need the Sacraments… but do you have any advice on how to get through the list …or anything else? If you have a moment please say a prayer for me… thank you!!

Feel free to become close with the priest when your at Confession. You have nothing to be afraid of. You are talking to Christ…and he forgives all. I love the sacrament of Confession you go in carrying a burden and come out feeling refreshed…Amazing! God Bless!

 

[odhiambo]

Hello

it’s been around 3 months since my last Confession (I haven’t been receiving Communion either, though I’ve been going to Mass and praying… long story) - and I have kind of a long list… I’m planning on going to Confession this Saturday and I’m terrified. The main thing is the length of the list… I don’t know how to get through it all in time. I’m having trouble distinguishing between mortal and venial sins right now so I just want to say them all. I’m really kind of struggling spiritually and I know I need the Sacraments… but do you have any advice on how to get through the list …or anything else? If you have a moment please say a prayer for me… thank you!!

Hi Monica.
You are not alone in this. Many of us are afraid to confess and there is really no reason at all to fear. Tell the priest what you have told us here. that you are terrified, you have a long list and cannot tell which is mortal and which is venial. A good priest will get the picture, try to alley your anxiety and help you make a good confession. The time you spend at the confessional does not matter. It is a wonderful sacrament isn’t it? We go in sinners, come out saints! I think the best way to deal with fear of the confessional is to go to confession weekly.

 

[MtnDwellar]

Hi Monica,

I will definitely pray for you.

There are only two ways for us to receive sacramental grace on a regular basis. We need the Grace. It’s God’s power.

 

[PerfectTiming]

I am currently experiencing exactly the same and planning to attend confession and mass on Saturday.
Something that really helped me was I went into church yesterday, not for mass but to just sit in the church and pray. It really helped clear my head and give me the strength to go to confession. You are in my prayers.

 

[lauraabarlow]

Hi-I know the feeling yet after confessional, I feel the weight of the burden lifted from my shoulders. Like my precious late mom used to say-this is just an analogy-they have heard this all before. Just pray for guidance and then go in, honestly telling the priest that your are afraid, then asking him to help you to make a good confession. He will guide you through this-believe me. I was for many years in a different christian denomination just to come back in 2005 to the catholic faith. Thought I had to go through RCIA just to learn that I had to just go to confession to come back (was baptist for 20 yrs). Imagine my fear-and I forgot how to confess so for three weeks I’ve read on EWTN and other sources on confession and when I went that Saturday, I was honest to the monsignor and he gently helped me through it-then welcomed me back-boy did I felt the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders. Just take the plunge-you can do it. The thing I find helpful is that at least in confession, it is just you and the priest in the persona of Jesus-you are not in front of the congregation like some protestant churches confessing in front of many people. That is what is so cool about our catholic faith-this really makes a difference! Don’t let your fear keep you from going-that is what the devil wants-dont let fear keep you from God’s graces. You are in my thoughts and prayers-fear not!

 

[paperwight66]

The thing I find helpful is that at least in confession, it is just you and the priest in the persona of Jesus-you are not in front of the congregation like some protestant churches confessing in front of many people. :

That’s interesting - which protestant churches require that?

 

[lauraabarlow]

Not a requirement-yet sometimes encouraged-when I used to be baptist, a young couple got pregnant out of marriage (both were engaged) and went before the congregation to confess voluntarily one Sunday, a month before their wedding. I was very uncomfortable with their public confessional. I was raised catholic yet left and became baptist just to later return-was baptist for many years and first time I’ve witnessed a public confessional.

 

[fhkjds]

If you’re not sure if it’s venial or mortal, it’s not mortal. For a sin to qualify as mortal you have to KNOW as you commit it that it has the consequence of severing your relationship with God.

It sounds like you’re not sure, so it qualifies as venial. Technically a mortal sin must be committed with what is called “full knowledge.”

 

[achmafooma]

I am praying for you.

A few things to consider:

First, as fhkjds said, if you’re not sure what it is it is probably venial. However, it can be good to confess venial sins. It’s not required, but it can still be good for the soul and help you overcome them (especially if they are habitual). If you feel a desire to confess all your sins, venial and mortal, then by all means do it!

Second, you don’t have to go into great detail. When I was converting, Father said in our RCIA class that we just need to say what it is and how many times. “I committed murder three times, and I missed Mass twice” (actual example Father used!). He doesn’t need a lot of detail; if he feels he needs more information about a particular sin, he will ask for it. Some people feel they need to go into deep, contextual detail, but this usually isn’t necessary.

Third, really, don’t be too concerned about time. Father has heard longer confessions than yours, I can guarantee it. After all, he will have heard from people like me. I converted at age 26, so I had my entire teenage years to Confess my first time . I feel sorry for the folks in line behind me.

Lastly, don’t let yourself get terrified. This is natural, up to a point, but Satan will use this natural fear to try and keep you away from the Sacrament. Don’t let him win!

God bless you.

 

[revert_jen]

If you’re not sure if it’s venial or mortal, it’s not mortal. For a sin to qualify as mortal you have to KNOW as you commit it that it has the consequence of severing your relationship with God.

It sounds like you’re not sure, so it qualifies as venial. Technically a mortal sin must be committed with what is called “full knowledge.”

That is certainly true, but it is still your responsibility to find out whether it is grave matter so that if so you can try harder to avoid it in the future. Also so that if not, you don’t avoid the Eucharist unnecessarily.

Incidentally, it’s very sinful to avoid finding out what is grave matter on purpose, with the idea that it is then impossible to commit a mortal sin. (No, I am not suggesting that you have done that, and it is obvious that the OP hasn’t. But it is still an important point.)

–Jen

 

[georgewithfaith]

Trust your priest and confess your sins and take as much time as you need. Tell the priest you have a long list and will probably have a lengthy confession. Confess to him that you do not know the difference between mortal and venial sins. So maybe if he could help you there then maybe you would be able to eliminate somethings from your list. Whatever the case may be most priests will be understanding.

If the priest rushes you along and is rude to you and you end up being cut off and not confessing a mortal sin then by all means find another pries even if that means going to confession somewhere else. I don’t think this will happen though.

Here’s the point, if you have committed mortal sin and before you confess and receive absolution you die you may have very well lost your salvation. Once you have confessed all of your mortal sins, received absolution and done penance and then you suddenly die your salvation is most certainly assured. Confession is the difference between Heaven and hell. It is God’s mercy to be there always to take us back and forgive us through Confession. These days too many people overlook this awesome sacrament. I used to be one of them but now through God’s grace I take advantage of Confession and go often.

 

[anruari]

I fully agree with the previous poster who suggested making a special appointment.
This can be very helpful - especially if there’s likely to be a que outside the regular saturday confessional.

 

[Decimvs]

You have my prayers.
Fall to your knees before God and ask the merciful father to guide you, and it will be so.

 

[The_Wizard]

Back when I was a kid (fifty years ago) I felt I had to follow a script when going to Confession. You know “Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been 4 weeks since my last Confession. etc.”. When I came back to the Faith I realized Confession was a conversation. Tell the priest your concerns. Ask for help. You don’t have to everything nailed down before hand. I know it is hard but it gets easier the more you do it.

 

[Iowa_Mike]

Hello

it’s been around 3 months since my last Confession (I haven’t been receiving Communion either, though I’ve been going to Mass and praying… long story) - and I have kind of a long list… I’m planning on going to Confession this Saturday and I’m terrified. The main thing is the length of the list… I don’t know how to get through it all in time. I’m having trouble distinguishing between mortal and venial sins right now so I just want to say them all. I’m really kind of struggling spiritually and I know I need the Sacraments… but do you have any advice on how to get through the list …or anything else? If you have a moment please say a prayer for me… thank you!!

Priests have heard it all so don’t be silly. I found that my not going to confession was based upon pride. Tell the priest you are struggling in this way and he will help you.

God Bless,

Iowa Mike