Afraid of Jesus?

[Kevin12]

I have seen people on a couple of threads express an idea that they are attracted to Mary because they are in some way afraid of Jesus. And it didn’t seem to me to be in the sense of Fear of the Lord, but in the way a child fears a baby sitter or a prisoner fears an executioner.

Personally, I don’t under this sort of fear directed toward Jesus. I can understand the fear of letting him down or losing his love. But the Jesus in the Bible, how can I put it…he seems extremely approachable, like you could just go up to him and talk to him and he would understand you. I understand that these people feel this way out of reverence, but I can’t imagine that Jesus would have wanted us to revere him in such a way that we would almost flee at the sight of him. So I was just wondering if anyone had ever had this sort of feeling and could explain it

 

[Lina4803]

Interesting question! I have not experienced this fear myself, but I’ve heard one possible explanation. People often base their perceptions of male and female personality types on what they experienced as children. For those with a stern or authoritarian father/grandfather/uncle and an outwardly loving, approachable mother/grandmother/aunt, Mary may seem like a friendlier presence than Jesus. This is obviously not based on reality, but it’s tough to get rid of those perceptions that start at a young age. I’m not sure “afraid” is the right way to describe the people that feel this way…perhaps “wary” is more appropriate?

 

[Kevin12]

Interesting question! I have not experienced this fear myself, but I’ve heard one possible explanation. People often base their perceptions of male and female personality types on what they experienced as children. For those with a stern or authoritarian father/grandfather/uncle and an outwardly loving, approachable mother/grandmother/aunt, Mary may seem like a friendlier presence than Jesus. This is obviously not based on reality, but it’s tough to get rid of those perceptions that start at a young age. I’m not sure “afraid” is the right way to describe the people that feel this way…perhaps “wary” is more appropriate?

Well, I have just heard these people describe Mary as “less scary” than Jesus.

 

[Portofino]

You remind me of something I wrote to a friend, about a year ago! I’ve reposted it here, as I don’t think I could word it any differently.

"Mary helps clarify the true nature of Christ. By that I mean she would help clarify the loving, forgiving, merciful nature of Christ.

In so much of Christianity–for example, in the Westboro Baptist church–there is an emphasis on the wrathful side of God, on the God of punishment. Mary and Saint Francis–for Catholics–help steer the image of Christ, in my mind, more towards that of the Good Shepherd.

In that sense, I think a group like the Westboro Baptist church–or the 17th century Puritans, for that matter–could have benefitted from a greater devotion to Mary. Without it, their view of Christ seemingly became skewed towards anger and hatred of unrighteousness, as opposed to the message of love and forgiveness.

Along those same lines, however, there is the danger that Mary becomes a replacement for Christ for many ordinary Catholics. Catholics, like many Christians, are afraid of God and even afraid of Jesus. They know they will be punished for their transgressions. Mary is a more comfortable figure, to them. She’s the soothing mother, the one who will always welcome them with open arms. Jesus is often described in these terms, and yet there is often also the emphasis of the Jesus overturning the tables in the temple, or the Jesus of the Final Judgment.

Thus, I think Catholics feeling more “comfortable” with Mary than with Jesus or with God the Father is analogous to feeling more comfortable with Mom than with Dad (Dad being the one who administers the discipline).

I think that is the great danger, and also the greatest opportunity for questioning one’s own conception of God – why is it that many Catholics, even if subconsciously, feel more comfortable appealing to Mary than they do to God or even Jesus. What is their view of God or Jesus? Is God the stern judge, Mary the soothing mother?

Again, I think an emphasis on Christ the Good Shepherd is important, since the fear of judgment can instinctively make people turn away, even if they don’t realize they’re doing it."

 

[Deltadeliquent]

I’ve never been afraid of Jesus, but I am terribly interested in His mother.

I think we have things in common, you see. A son who drives her to distraction!
He said hurtful things to her, hated to be told what to do by her, and hung out with questionable people. And he wandered about preaching some weird lovey dovey stuff that made the priest’s hair stand on end instead of getting a good job and getting married.
Not the sort of thing a good Jewish mother wants to see in her son…

I figure she would understand my hurt and pain over this. (Although my son is not a preaching sort, nor does he wander around the desert)Plus she knows how a mother feels in general about her children and her life as a woman. I guess I just have more in common with her than with Jesus.
So I relate…

 

[jeffrey_tantowi]

I am afraid that is a wrong point of view that Jesus is not loving. Why would He let Himself be killed and tortured and mocked terribly for us and we do not want to get close to Him.
As long as when we want to approach Him in prayer, or read bible or by singing a song of praise, we should humble ourselves and approach Him properly just like when we want to come to talk to our parent or friend but in a higher degree since He is our Lord and Savior (that is called respect for Him).
Our religion should help everyone to know and understand His love and we are also called to imitate Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1). So every saints are following His example so there is no reason why we should we are look alike a certain saints since they have the same role model which is Jesus

 

[Kevin12]

I am afraid that is a wrong point of view that Jesus is not loving. Why would He let Himself be killed and tortured and mocked terribly for us and we do not want to get close to Him.
As long as when we want to approach Him in prayer, or read bible or by singing a song of praise, we should humble ourselves and approach Him properly just like when we want to come to talk to our parent or friend but **in a higher degree since He is our Lord and Savior **(that is called respect for Him).
Our religion should help everyone to know and understand His love and we are also called to imitate Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1). So every saints are following His example so there is no reason why we should we are look alike a certain saints since they have the same role model which is Jesus

There are many people who seem to hold Jesus in such high respect that in their secret heart they believe Peter was right to try to prevent Jesus from washing his feet. I respect Christ, but not in the way (note this is not a matter of degree but kind) I respect my father. Jesus said, "I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father. (John 15:15)

 

[fred_conty]

I have seen people on a couple of threads express an idea that they are attracted to Mary because they are in some way afraid of Jesus. And it didn’t seem to me to be in the sense of Fear of the Lord, but in the way a child fears a baby sitter or a prisoner fears an executioner.

Personally, I don’t under this sort of fear directed toward Jesus. I can understand the fear of letting him down or losing his love. But the Jesus in the Bible, how can I put it…he seems extremely approachable, like you could just go up to him and talk to him and he would understand you. I understand that these people feel this way out of reverence, but I can’t imagine that Jesus would have wanted us to revere him in such a way that we would almost flee at the sight of him. So I was just wondering if anyone had ever had this sort of feeling and could explain it

I believe the reason is that Jesus is God and Mary isn’t. When a person has sined, it is against Jesus because he is God. It isn’t against Mary. And Mary is a woman, and woman are softer and more understanding by nature than men.

I do not believe Jesus is offended by this thought at all. Although it is true that he loves us more than we could ever love ourselves even in sin. And it is a mistake, but a human one.

For example, here is a hymn,“If you love me you will follow me says the Lord, for where I am my servant will also be says the Lord.” It is obvious to the sinner that they aren’t following the Lord. So they go to Mary. Personally, I think Jesus, in his goodness gave us his mother just so that everyone would find their way back, which Mary brings about. How good and kind he is to us.

Just a thought.​

“Mother dearest, Mother fairest, help of all who call on thee.” (hymn)

 

[dee_burk]

Wednesday was the first time i finally got the courage to go to the adoration chapel at my parish. it was lovely, i felt like crying but there were several people in there. Why did it take me so long to reach this milestone??? i was afraid, afraid of what Jesus would see in me and how disappointed he must be in my life so far.
i suppose the “fear” may be you are looking into a mirror of yourself, your soul, what humans feel that Jesus must see. it is uncomfortable to say the least.
plus, i was raised with a vengeful protestant God, so happy to be here, in the Catholic Church where i can try my best to hide behind Mother Mary’s robe, a scared and awed child that i am…

 

[Kevin12]

I believe the reason is that Jesus is God and Mary isn’t. When a person has sined, it is against Jesus because he is God. It isn’t against Mary. And Mary is a woman, and woman are softer and more understanding by nature than men.

I do not believe Jesus is offended by this thought at all. Although it is true that he loves us more than we could ever love ourselves even in sin. And it is a mistake, but a human one.

For example, here is a hymn,“If you love me you will follow me says the Lord, for where I am my servant will also be says the Lord.” It is obvious to the sinner that they aren’t following the Lord. So they go to Mary. Personally, I think Jesus, in his goodness gave us his mother just so that everyone would find their way back, which Mary brings about. How good and kind he is to us.

Just a thought.

I don’t understand your way of thinking. Jesus was God, but he also a man. It is almost as if you are saying Christ, in spite of the Incarnation, is somehow deficient in his humanity.

I particularly don’t understand why people need to turn to the apparently more human Mary when she is not even a prominent character (excuse the expression) in the Gospels, outside of the nativity. I am not denying anything the Church teaches about Mary, but I can’t understand this way of thinking of her.

 

[mcrts]

I’m afraid I don’t understand that view either.

For me, personally, I pray to Mary so that she can guide me to her Son. She is my mother and queen because she knows God in a way that is so intimate. The Father chose her from the start, the Son had His being through her and the Spirit is her loving Spouse.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

A few years ago I was regularly going to Adoration and that taught me to have a healthy fear of Jesus. He is God after all. I was gifted with an understanding of his infinite goodness and infinite power. That sense of his power scared me and I abandoned the “buddy Jesus” imaged that was taught to me for years.

 

[Orton]

I for one have a certain level of fear of Jesus. I have the complete opposite view in that I don’t understand how someone couldn’t have a certain level of fear towards the Lord. Have these people ever even read the gospels? Have they ever read how often Jesus refers to final judgement and gehenna (hell)?

Jesus shows love and forgiveness, but that is an incomplete picture. Justice and judgement also make up the man. Maybe I can explain it this way. You fear the Lord in the same way that you fear a parent. You love your parent, so you don’t want to do anything to upset them. Everything your parent asks of you is done out of love for you (ideally) so you know that if you disobey them, you are to blame. Plus there is punishment for disobedience.

Jesus Christ is our superior. We aren’t equal to him. He is God and we are not. Not having fear of him shows a lack of understanding in my opinion.

On to Mary. Mary isn’t God, but lived a sinless life. She gave birth to Jesus. Because she was human and was able to do all of these things she is an inspiration and a beacon of hope to humanity. She was assumed body and soul into heaven and was coronated as Queen of heaven and earth upon entering heaven.

Mary isn’t involved in the final judgement, that is left to God, but the church teaches that the Lord has given her a high place in heaven. So I would say I’m attracted to Mary for these three reasons: 1.) She was fully human and lived a life free of sin as opposed to Jesus who was true God and true man. 2.) She isn’t involved in the final judgement. 3.) She is a woman and our mother and is less scary for this reason as well. I’m not sure I explained this as well as I could, but hopefully you get the idea.

 

[Orton]

A few years ago I was regularly going to Adoration and that taught me to have a healthy fear of Jesus. He is God after all. I was gifted with an understanding of his infinite goodness and infinite power. That sense of his power scared me and I abandoned the “buddy Jesus” imaged that was taught to me for years.

 

[Orton]

I don’t understand your way of thinking. Jesus was God, but he also a man. It is almost as if you are saying Christ, in spite of the Incarnation, is somehow deficient in his humanity.

I particularly don’t understand why people need to turn to the apparently more human Mary when she is not even a prominent character (excuse the expression) in the Gospels, outside of the nativity. I am not denying anything the Church teaches about Mary, but I can’t understand this way of thinking of her.

Just wanted to add something else. It is true that Mary doesn’t have much written about her in the gospels, but what is written is powerful. When the baby Jesus is presented in the temple, Simeon tells her that a sword will pierce her heart. She is also present at Christ’s passion and before he dies on the cross he tells the beloved disciple that Mary is his mother and Mary that the beloved disciple is her son.

There is also much private revelation about Mary that the church has compiled over the centuries. Of course this is private revelation and the church doesn’t require you to believe it, but much of it has been declared worthy of belief by the church.

 

[Kevin12]

I for one have a certain level of fear of Jesus. I have the complete opposite view in that I don’t understand how someone couldn’t have a certain level of fear towards the Lord. Have these people ever even read the gospels? Have they ever read how often Jesus refers to final judgement and gehenna (hell)?

Jesus shows love and forgiveness, but that is an incomplete picture. Justice and judgement also make up the man. Maybe I can explain it this way. You fear the Lord in the same way that you fear a parent. You love your parent, so you don’t want to do anything to upset them. Everything your parent asks of you is done out of love for you (ideally) so you know that if you disobey them, you are to blame. Plus there is punishment for disobedience.

Jesus Christ is our superior. We aren’t equal to him. He is God and we are not. Not having fear of him shows a lack of understanding in my opinion.

On to Mary. Mary isn’t God, but lived a sinless life. She gave birth to Jesus. Because she was human and was able to do all of these things she is an inspiration and a beacon of hope to humanity. She was assumed body and soul into heaven and was coronated as Queen of heaven and earth upon entering heaven.

Mary isn’t involved in the final judgement, that is left to God, but the church teaches that the Lord has given her a high place in heaven. So I would say I’m attracted to Mary for these three reasons: 1.) She was fully human and lived a life free of sin as opposed to Jesus who was true God and true man. 2.) She isn’t involved in the final judgement. 3.) She is a woman and our mother and is less scary for this reason as well. I’m not sure I explained this as well as I could, but hopefully you get the idea.

I personally think that the way you seem to fear Jesus shows a lack of understanding. Christ is our superior, but he is not like our parent but our brother. I think it is especially inappropriate to compare him to a parent, because that is to conflate him with God the Father. I refer against to John 15:15: “I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father.” There is a sense in which one should fear God, but the fear I see being expressed here is more of a servile fear of punishment than a desire to truly please Christ.

What really worries me is this bit in bold - why are you using the phrase “as opposed to” as if it were not the case that Christ was also fully human? To deny this, or say that his human nature was somehow absorbed by his divine nature, is Monophysitism, which the Church teaches is an error.

 

[Kevin12]

I believe the reason is that Jesus is God and Mary isn’t. When a person has sined, it is against Jesus because he is God. It isn’t against Mary. **And Mary is a woman, and woman are softer and more understanding by nature than men.
**
I do not believe Jesus is offended by this thought at all. Although it is true that he loves us more than we could ever love ourselves even in sin. And it is a mistake, but a human one.

For example, here is a hymn,“If you love me you will follow me says the Lord, for where I am my servant will also be says the Lord.” It is obvious to the sinner that they aren’t following the Lord. So they go to Mary. Personally, I think Jesus, in his goodness gave us his mother just so that everyone would find their way back, which Mary brings about. How good and kind he is to us.

Just a thought.

If you are saying Mary is more understanding than Christ, I think you are mistaken. I think, first of all, that was the point of the Incarnation - so no man could say that God had no right to condemn him, having know direct knowledge of what it is to suffer. Furthermore, Christ, being God, understand us better than anyone, and that includes Mary.

 

[Kevin12]

A few years ago I was regularly going to Adoration and that taught me to have a healthy fear of Jesus. He is God after all. I was gifted with an understanding of his infinite goodness and infinite power. That sense of his power scared me and I abandoned the “buddy Jesus” imaged that was taught to me for years.

You may abandon it, but Christ is your friend whether you like it or not. Aquinas wrote that Charity, that is to say, the Love that God is, is Friendship. Indeed, this is the first thing he has to say about Charity in the Summa Theologica. I’ll just quote it wholesale:

Article 1. Whether charity is friendship?

Objection 1. It would seem that charity is not friendship. For nothing is so appropriate to friendship as to dwell with one’s friend, according to the Philosopher (Ethic. viii, 5). Now charity is of man towards God and the angels, “whose dwelling [Douay: ‘conversation’] is not with men” (Daniel 2:11). Therefore charity is not friendship.

Objection 2. Further, there is no friendship without return of love (Ethic. viii, 2). But charity extends even to one’s enemies, according to Matthew 5:44: “Love your enemies.” Therefore charity is not friendship.

Objection 3. Further, according to the Philosopher (Ethic. viii, 3) there are three kinds of friendship, directed respectively towards the delightful, the useful, or the virtuous. Now charity is not the friendship for the useful or delightful; for Jerome says in his letter to Paulinus which is to be found at the beginning of the Bible: “True friendship cemented by Christ, is where men are drawn together, not by household interests, not by mere bodily presence, not by crafty and cajoling flattery, but by the fear of God, and the study of the Divine Scriptures.” No more is it friendship for the virtuous, since by charity we love even sinners, whereas friendship based on the virtuous is only for virtuous men (Ethic. viii). Therefore charity is not friendship.

On the contrary, It is written (John 15:15): “I will not now call you servants . . . but My friends.” Now this was said to them by reason of nothing else than charity. Therefore charity is friendship.

I answer that, According to the Philosopher (Ethic. viii, 2,3) not every love has the character of friendship, but that love which is together with benevolence, when, to wit, we love someone so as to wish good to him. If, however, we do not wish good to what we love, but wish its good for ourselves, (thus we are said to love wine, or a horse, or the like), it is love not of friendship, but of a kind of concupiscence. For it would be absurd to speak of having friendship for wine or for a horse.

Yet neither does well-wishing suffice for friendship, for a certain mutual love is requisite, since friendship is between friend and friend: and this well-wishing is founded on some kind of communication.

Accordingly, since there is a communication between man and God, inasmuch as He communicates His happiness to us, some kind of friendship must needs be based on this same communication, of which it is written (1 Corinthians 1:9): “God is faithful: by Whom you are called unto the fellowship of His Son.” The love which is based on this communication, is charity: wherefore it is evident that charity is the friendship of man for God.

Reply to Objection 1. Man’s life is twofold. There is his outward life in respect of his sensitive and corporeal nature: and with regard to this life there is no communication or fellowship between us and God or the angels. The other is man’s spiritual life in respect of his mind, and with regard to this life there is fellowship between us and both God and the angels, imperfectly indeed in this present state of life, wherefore it is written (Philippians 3:20): “Our conversation is in heaven.” But this “conversation” will be perfected in heaven, when “His servants shall serve Him, and they shall see His face” (Apocalypse 22:3-4). Therefore charity is imperfect here, but will be perfected in heaven.

Reply to Objection 2. Friendship extends to a person in two ways: first in respect of himself, and in this way friendship never extends but to one’s friends: secondly, it extends to someone in respect of another, as, when a man has friendship for a certain person, for his sake he loves all belonging to him, be they children, servants, or connected with him in any way. Ondeed so much do we love our friends, that for their sake we love all who belong to them, even if they hurt or hate us; so that, in this way, the friendship of charity extends even to our enemies, whom we love out of charity in relation to God, to Whom the friendship of charity is chiefly directed.

Reply to Objection 3. The friendship that is based on the virtuous is directed to none but a virtuous man as the principal person, but for his sake we love those who belong to him, even though they be not virtuous: in this way charity, which above all is friendship based on the virtuous, extends to sinners, whom, out of charity, we love for God’s sake.

As to the “Buddy Christ” - the idea that Christ indulges all our faults and sins without desiring us to improve is false. This, however, does not mean Christ is not our friend.

 

[ajecphotos]

The only fear i have is of going against Our Lords wishes, words and teachings etc. I am afraid of sinning against him. I sin often and knowingly and it hurts me to see that i am making Our Lord suffer by my actions.

I dearly love Our Lord and try to live my life according to his teachings. It is hard but i am hoping to become at least 99% pure!! I am only human!

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

As to the “Buddy Christ” - the idea that Christ indulges all our faults and sins without desiring us to improve is false. This, however, does not mean Christ is not our friend.

I understand what you mean and I’m not disagreeing with you. But what happened that time at Adoration was my knowledge about Jesus being experienced by my entire being, not just my mind. And being in his presence was so wonderful but a bit scary because of his infinite goodness and power. I don’t think we can handle that goodness and power because of sin. I have since become absolutely certain of the reality of Purgatory. Jesus is so above anything that we can experience as humans. Yes, he is our friend, but this friend is God reaching out to us. I am in awe of him and never for a second imagine that this friendship resembles what I have with other people.