After an argument with a friend of mine, i am confused about SEX

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SpiritMeadow said:
You know I just don’t know why the Pope doesn’t simply remove about 95% of all American Priests. After coming here for a few months, I’m now sure that most of them have not a clue about what they are doing. The vatican should no doubt appoint the patrons of CAF to do the work themselves since they know better than most priests what to do. The low opinion of the priesthood at this forum is astounding. There is zero respect, and what most say about nuns is insulting and shameful.

It’s simply amazing.
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I don’t think anyone has a low opinion of the Priesthood. I think it’s more of a :banghead: when examples are given of Priests who are obviously deciding for themselves what is sin and what isn’t - a right they haven’t been given.

We could start a new thread… post here if you love your Priest and I’m certain it would be pages & pages long in no time.
 
SpiritMeadow said:
You know I just don’t know why the Pope doesn’t simply remove about 95% of all American Priests. After coming here for a few months, I’m now sure that most of them have not a clue about what they are doing. The vatican should no doubt appoint the patrons of CAF to do the work themselves since they know better than most priests what to do. The low opinion of the priesthood at this forum is astounding. There is zero respect, and what most say about nuns is insulting and shameful.

It’s simply amazing.
Click to expand...
It seems you can’t let go of your need to be sarcastic, regardless of subject matter. So glad that I needn’t figure out why you do so.
 
yoyoboy said:
Here’s the story. A very good firend of mine is engaged. He and his fiance are catholic. one night about a month ago they slept together. the next two weeks he did attend mass but did not receive communion. the third week he went to confession and, of course, the priest heard his confession. while in there, the priest said something along the lines of this to my firend:

“god willing, it doesn’t happen, but if you were to fall into this sin again, by no means let it keep you from receiving communion.”

my friend questioned the priest, because as he understood it, sex before marriage is adultery and therefore wrong. the priest asked my firend:

“you said that you slept with the girl out of passion… love… correct?”

my friend said yes. the priest continued:

“if you had slept with her just out of desire to please yourself, or simply because you thought she was an attractive female and you felt aroused, or any reason other than genuine love, then yes, it would be a mortal sin. but since you really do care for the girl, since you intend on marrying her, since you slept with her because you love her and tehre was not a single selfish feeling inside of you, then the act is at the very worst, a venial sin. if you go to mass, the sin is forgiven you and you may receive.”

since this was, after all, his pastor, my friend left the confessional with this new idea. he told me about it beause we tell each other everything but hearing this troubled me. honestly, the priest’s reasoning seems to make sense. i gave it more thought and i cannot find any reason to think that if there is nothing but genuine selflessness, and the pure desire to please the other person, and to be open to pregnancy should it happen, then why would it be a mortal sin. i understand that since it is out of marriage, it is a sin nonetheless, but is it still a mortal sin necesarilly if those conditions i mentioned are in play?

is it ever a venial sin, and NOT a mortal sin, to have sex outside of marriage, under ANY circumstance whatsoever?
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That Priest was wrong.

People who LOVE each other don’t sleep with one another.
 
SpiritMeadow said:
You know I just don’t know why the Pope doesn’t simply remove about 95% of all American Priests. After coming here for a few months, I’m now sure that most of them have not a clue about what they are doing. The vatican should no doubt appoint the patrons of CAF to do the work themselves since they know better than most priests what to do. The low opinion of the priesthood at this forum is astounding. There is zero respect, and what most say about nuns is insulting and shameful.

It’s simply amazing.
Click to expand...
I’ll take arbitrary made-up percentages for 100, Alex.

Lots of people love their Priests. You either refuse to see that, or are lying in your asserions. Besides, no one is forcing you to post 1900 messagess here, many of them simple complaints.
 
Kathrin said:
I think the question was, it is always a MORTAL sin? (You probably meant to write that?)

I think it would be a venial sin if not all the conditions for a mortal sin are given. That is, if for example the person does not know it is a sin, or if the person does not consent with their full will (I am not talking about rape here!) Here it is easy to start questioning though… if somebody is overcome by strong desire and just can’t resist… or with actual sexual addiction… it is not their full free will either, right…

Kathrin
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Yes, it would always be considered a mortal sin.
 
yoyoboy said:
Here’s the story. A very good firend of mine is engaged. He and his fiance are catholic. one night about a month ago they slept together. the next two weeks he did attend mass but did not receive communion. the third week he went to confession and, of course, the priest heard his confession. while in there, the priest said something along the lines of this to my firend:

“god willing, it doesn’t happen, but if you were to fall into this sin again, by no means let it keep you from receiving communion.”

my friend questioned the priest, because as he understood it, sex before marriage is adultery and therefore wrong. the priest asked my firend:

“you said that you slept with the girl out of passion… love… correct?”

my friend said yes. the priest continued:

“if you had slept with her just out of desire to please yourself, or simply because you thought she was an attractive female and you felt aroused, or any reason other than genuine love, then yes, it would be a mortal sin. but since you really do care for the girl, since you intend on marrying her, since you slept with her because you love her and tehre was not a single selfish feeling inside of you, then the act is at the very worst, a venial sin. if you go to mass, the sin is forgiven you and you may receive.”

since this was, after all, his pastor, my friend left the confessional with this new idea. he told me about it beause we tell each other everything but hearing this troubled me. honestly, the priest’s reasoning seems to make sense. i gave it more thought and i cannot find any reason to think that if there is nothing but genuine selflessness, and the pure desire to please the other person, and to be open to pregnancy should it happen, then why would it be a mortal sin. i understand that since it is out of marriage, it is a sin nonetheless, but is it still a mortal sin necesarilly if those conditions i mentioned are in play?

is it ever a venial sin, and NOT a mortal sin, to have sex outside of marriage, under ANY circumstance whatsoever?
Click to expand...
The Priest maybe thinking you are in a state of Natural Marriage? It is still not acceptable however the sin of sex in engagement is obviously lower than other sins
ALLGIRLS said:
I don’t know how prevalent this is, but my priest has told me in the confessional not to refrain from receiving the Eucharist-using almost the exact same wording that’s in the op. In my case, I confessed to using contraception, and then of going to communion knowing I was in mortal sin (from contracepting). He told me not to let “anything” keep me from the Eucharist. I didn’t argue w/ him, just made a mental note to seek another confessor should I receive Communion unworthily again (I’ve found that arguing w/ priests about morals is ususually pointless). Like I said, I don’t know how widespread this is, but it seems like an instance of going overboard in an attempt at being “pastoral”.

In Christ,

Ellen
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The Priest may have given up on the Church’s teachings on contraception, however it is still not acceptable to oppose the Church. You did the right thing by confessing, so it was confessed.
 
Was the priest hinting that this person had lowered cupability due to being in a long-term relationship?

Take, for example, masturbation. There is some discourse over whether or not it is a mortal sin, or even a sin at all, when one has a long history of it, a compulsion, a habit, or a correlating mental illness.

Still sounds as if your Catholic friends has been given some poor advice.
 
Kathrin said:
I think the question was, it is always a MORTAL sin? (You probably meant to write that?)

I think it would be a venial sin if not all the conditions for a mortal sin are given. That is, if for example the person does not know it is a sin, or if the person does not consent with their full will (I am not talking about rape here!) Here it is easy to start questioning though… if somebody is overcome by strong desire and just can’t resist… or with actual sexual addiction… it is not their full free will either, right…

Kathrin
Click to expand...
The guy may not have known the severity of it the first time, but this supposed advice from the priest that if it happens in the future it will be just as venial is where I think it is off. The “if it ever happens again” advice was the wrong part. He should have told him that if it ever happens again, you will know it to be a mortal sin.
 
SpiritMeadow said:
You know I just don’t know why the Pope doesn’t simply remove about 95% of all American Priests. After coming here for a few months, I’m now sure that most of them have not a clue about what they are doing. The vatican should no doubt appoint the patrons of CAF to do the work themselves since they know better than most priests what to do. The low opinion of the priesthood at this forum is astounding. There is zero respect, and what most say about nuns is insulting and shameful.

It’s simply amazing.
Click to expand...
Do you just copy and paste this same post in all the threads? We know, we know. We’re all right wing knuckle dragging ultra-conservative throw backs to the last century and you are the enlightened and evolved spokesperson for the future of Catholicism. :yawn:
 
blessedtoo said:
Do you just copy and paste this same post in all the threads? We know, we know. We’re all right wing knuckle dragging ultra-conservative throw backs to the last century and you are the enlightened and evolved spokesperson for the future of Catholicism. :yawn:
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I think that would describe me. 😃
 
luvlife said:
I don’t think anyone has a low opinion of the Priesthood. I think it’s more of a :banghead: when examples are given of Priests who are obviously deciding for themselves what is sin and what isn’t - a right they haven’t been given.

We could start a new thread… post here if you love your Priest and I’m certain it would be pages & pages long in no time.
Click to expand...
Perhaps you are right. but all i see here are: “My priest said this…”, followed by “Your priest is wrong, report him.” I find it somewhat amusing that the laity is so quick to believe it understands things better than the priest. One always has one or two of these in every parish, but it is definitely the norm here. One would believe from these threads that there are a couple of hundred theologians onboard at CAF.
 
catharina said:
It seems you can’t let go of your need to be sarcastic, regardless of subject matter. So glad that I needn’t figure out why you do so.
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Do you have a point, or only you sarcasm to interject? I guess I could fairly say the same for you as well, just from a different perspective. Do you actually disagree with what I said?
 
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