After vasectomy reversal should we have more children?

[conniejean]

After our conversion last fall, my husband and I realized that his vasectomy was wrong and we decided to have it reversed. (surgery done Aug. 16) While we are open to having another child, my question is how many do we accept? We have done a lot of reading on what the moral reasons are for postponing pregnancy either temporarily or indefinitely. We don’t carry any of those reasons. Both my husband and I are healthy, faithfilled people that could handle a few more kids. Financially we are considered “wealthy” and could financially support more children. My question is this: can a couple postpone more children (indefinitely) simply because of their age? I am 40 and my husband is 45. While we are excited about having another child, I am not sure if two or more excites me too much. We feel sad about the seven years we lost because of his vasectomy. We truly believe that we “should have had” 3 to 4 more children. Does that mean we should have 3 to 4 more now? I don’t want to be giving birth until I’m in menopause. Other than age, (if that’s a legitimate reason) we have no reason to postpone pregnancy indefinitely. What do we do?

Thanks,
Connie

 

[Fr.Vincent_Serpa]

Dear Connie,

Forty is not old. You have enough money. How about letting God decide? You are not sure if two or more excites you. You mean you currently have only one? Children need siblings—if for no other reason than to not grow up self-absorbed.

God has been generous to you, how about being generous in reply! Forget about being excited. If God wants you to give birth until menopause, then nothing could be better! His will is the only thing that matters. We are more about Him than we are about ourselves. Our purpose in life is not to have our own plans, but to follow His! Mother Teresa used to say that if you want to make God laugh, show Him your plans.

He knows what is best for us. A glance at a crucifix tells us that He had no second thoughts about loving us. How can we have second thoughts about His will for us? You are in my prayers.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.