Against some orders and commands

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BCathB

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If someone rebels (without violence) against not correct, shameful and useless orders, is he sinning?
 
It would help to have a concrete example. If it is an immoral order, we do well to rebel against it.
 
For example, if parents constrict a son to abandon school in order to do a work he doesn’t like . This happened not to me but to a friend of mine some weeks ago. His parents had lots of money to let him study but they didn’t want. He rebelled. Was he right?
 
Well, if he’s under the age of independent adulthood and still at home with his parents who are caring for him he probably should be obedient to his parents. But I’ll hasten to add that if it is, as you state, a case of forcing a child away from school into the workplace, he might be right to rebel, or put up a stink at least. How old is he? Can he get support from other relatives to continue schooling? Is he being forced to go to work because the family is poor and he needs to contribute? There are a lot of factors that change the situation.
One thinks of many stories of saints who, as young people, rebelled against their family’s wishes for marriage, for example, believing they were called elsewhere by God.
 
My friend is 17. I’m older than him and I know his family has a lot of money to spend for his education. They are rich, but they want him to do stressful and useless works (carpenter…) while he is studying in order to become, according to his wish, a banker.
 
US military oaths state “obey all LAWFUL orders…” Useless, to me says more about the person deeming an order ‘useless’ than about the order itself. …
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for @BCathB…so Jesus work as a carpenter was ‘useless’?
 
Oh, so they are not preventing him from going to school, but just want him to work at carpentry while he’s studying? Sounds normal to me. I worked from age 16 to help support my education and often in jobs I didn’t like much. Normal experience for most youth and good experience too!
You make it sound like because the parents are rich they shouldn’t make their kid work. I say good for them! Besides he’s only a year or two away from moving out if he wants to and supporting himself. What’s the big deal here?
 
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BCathB said:
My friend is 17. I’m older than him and I know his family has a lot of money to spend for his education. They are rich, but they want him to do stressful and useless works (carpenter…) while he is studying in order to become, according to his wish, a banker.
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Parents do not have the authority to require an adult child to go into a vocation of their choosing. This is up to the child.

The parents, of course, also have no obligation to pay for their child’s college schooling. It’s nice if they do, but he may have to fund his own education if they are unwilling.

From the Catechism:

2230 When they become adults, children have the right and duty to choose their profession and state of life. They should assume their new responsibilities within a trusting relationship with their parents, willingly asking and receiving their advice and counsel. Parents should be careful not to exert pressure on their children either in the choice of a profession or in that of a spouse. This necessary restraint does not prevent them - quite the contrary from giving their children judicious advice, particularly when they are planning to start a family.
 
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The problem is that his parents don’t want him to continue studying and going to university, even if they have money for it. They want him to work and don’t study anymore, even if he wants to go to school.
 
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BCathB said:
They are rich, but they want him to do stressful and useless works (carpenter…
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I suspect there may be language and cultural differences between you and the majority of of the other posters here but,

How is carpentry useless?
And lots of people work at stressful jobs every day. That’s the reality most people live. I may be wrong, but I sense a disdain on your part for people who work with their hands or have to work hard.

Maybe his parents sensed this disdain as well, and want to teach him about the real world.
 
The fact is that he wants to study in order to get a better job.
His family DOESN’T WANT HIM TO STUDY but to take a work he doesn’t like.
 
I suspect there’s a language barrier here. You confused the situation by saying above that your friend is being compelled to work “while he is studying.” That implied the parents still allowed him to go to school. But now you’ve clarified that the parents are forcing this kid to leave school to do carpentry work. Well, it is not the end of the world. He can still study on his own, even while working, and can plan to leave his parents when he turns 18. Then he can do what he wishes.
 
BCathB said:
His family DOESN’T WANT HIM TO STUDY but to take a work he doesn’t like.
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At the age of seventeen, that’s not the end of the world.
He has his whole life ahead of him to pursue banking.
In the meanwhile he’ll gain a marketable skill.
And, in the meantime, there nothing stopping him from learning on his own.

When he’s an independent grown up he can pursue what he likes.

What country is your friend in?
 
I don’t know how “traditional” that country is, how many people attend college or the customs and beliefs about family structure and how much say the older generation has for the younger generation.

In the US, kids have a fairly high amount of autonomy to choose jobs and spouses.
I personally would be supporting my kids in whatever they wanted to pursue. But I’m speaking from my culture.

Bottom line is, kids have to obey their parents in anything that is not sinful. Otherwise, they have to obey until they’re adults.

I do feel for your friend. It must be so frustrating for him. But this is not a “forever” situation.
But if he can hang in there a couple more years, he can do what he likes, and in the meantime can study on his own 🙂
 
The problem is that he had started very difficult studies. If he doesn’t finish them, he will never be able to find a different work in the future. He has two chances:
  • stop studying and do only this kind of jobs in his life (cause his school will not give him something to allow him to do different jobs)
  • continue studying, get a certificate and do what he wants.
    If he stops studying, he will never be able to do what he wants.
 
BCathB said:
If he doesn’t finish them, he will never be able to find a different work in the future.
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I’m not so sure about that.
There’s more to education than just high school.
There is college, and there are tech schools.
I’ve known a lot of people who graduated high school, worked for a while and went back to school.
I have some co-workers who immigrated to the US, held down jobs and raised kids and still went back to college to get their degrees.

It is doable.
 
The track system in Europe is very different than the US. They track as early as 14 in some countries and what you do in the European equivalent of high school does equate to whether you can go in to university.

So, American style advice may not apply here.
 
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