Aggravated - Face to Face confession

[dnar]

Our Parish had a penance service tonight and the only option given to the people is face to face confession…

One priest stands over to the side of the Church, one priest sits at the presider’s chair, and another priest stands over by the baptismal font…

Lines are formed…you just walk up and talk to the priest, and get absolution…

I understand that is a valid way to confess your sins. But I highly dislike face to face confessions, and I really don’t like others standing a few feet behind me while I do it…

Do I have a valid complaint, or should I just shut up and deal with it?

Thanks

 

[babochka]

Our Parish had a penance service tonight and the only option given to the people is face to face confession…

One priest stands over to the side of the Church, one priest sits at the presider’s chair, and another priest stands over by the baptismal font…

Lines are formed…you just walk up and talk to the priest, and get absolution…

I understand that is a valid way to confess your sins. But I highly dislike face to face confessions, and I really don’t like others standing a few feet behind me while I do it…

Do I have a valid complaint, or should I just shut up and deal with it?

Thanks

You have a valid complaint. In the Latin Rite, the penitent always has the right to an anonymous confession. I once fought this battle when I taught a CCD class for first Confession. They had a similar setup for the kids, just a couple of chairs facing each other. As an Eastern Catholic, I am quite used to confessing in this manner, including the lack of privacy, but this was in a Latin church. These kids were being given no other option. Additionally, parents were taking pictures of their children during confession! I didn’t win the battle, by the way, even though they acknowledged that I was right.

 

[shipwrkd]

Our Parish had a penance service tonight and the only option given to the people is face to face confession…

One priest stands over to the side of the Church, one priest sits at the presider’s chair, and another priest stands over by the baptismal font…

Lines are formed…you just walk up and talk to the priest, and get absolution…

I understand that is a valid way to confess your sins. But I highly dislike face to face confessions, and I really don’t like others standing a few feet behind me while I do it…

Do I have a valid complaint, or should I just shut up and deal with it?

Thanks

One of the best Confessions I had was a face to face talk with a priest, but this was a priest I had gotten familiar with on a retreat. It’s the only time I’ve done it and wouldn’t feel comfortable confessing that way in any other environment even if it were the same priest. You have a very valid complaint.

 

[1ke]

Do I have a valid complaint, or should I just shut up and deal with it?

Your complaint is valid if there is no option for “behind the screen” confession at all. I would say it is less likely to be deemed a legitimate complaint if this was one of several confession opportunities. For example-- those who want face to face come to the penance service this week and those who want anonymous come next week…

So, the answer is “yes” and “no”.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

I don’t think you have a valid compliant in this instance.

I prefer face-to-face, but I do understand that not everyone does, and in normal circumstances, yes you should have a choice, but this was not a “normal” circumstance. This was a Communal Penance Service with individual confession, and every time I have ever been to a service like this, this is how it was done.

Now, that said, I also see no reason why one of the priests could not have utilized the confessional for people who desired to use it could, but that was probably just an oversite or no one thought about it, it happens. Maybe suggest it to your priest for the next time.

 

[opus101]

Were people notified ahead of time that there would be only one option (face-to-face)?

Also, was there some reason why the normal confessionals could not be used?

This happened in my old parish when I used to teach CCD. It was supposed to be an opportunity to get the kids (teens) to go to confession, The priests were stationed in various areas, and quite frankly, it was hard not to hear what was being said. There was no background music, etc.

On top of that, everyone was told to just mention one sin only.

I hope that kind of thing doesn’t happen anymore.

Personally, I’m pretty sure you have a valid complaint. There would be nothing to stop them from using a confessional or putting up a movable screen .

 

[dnar]

Your complaint is valid if there is no option for “behind the screen” confession at all. I would say it is less likely to be deemed a legitimate complaint if this was one of several confession opportunities. For example-- those who want face to face come to the penance service this week and those who want anonymous come next week…

So, the answer is “yes” and “no”.

There was no option for behind the screen confession at all. Weekly confessions the option of behind the screen is there however…

We always have an advent penance service and a lent penance service…a lot of parishoners come to this service who normally are not there for weekly confession…

And its always face to face only…standing in front of the church while everyone is standing behind you…who knows if they can hear…

It all seems irritating to me, I got ticked off, and my family and I just left and walked out…

 

[opus101]

There was no option for behind the screen confession at all. Weekly confessions the option of behind the screen is there however…

We always have an advent penance service and a lent penance service…a lot of parishoners come to this service who normally are not there for weekly confession…

And its always face to face only…standing in front of the church while everyone is standing behind you…who knows if they can hear…

It all seems irritating to me, I got ticked off, and my family and I just left and walked out…

To me, this (the practice of face-to-face only, in a single large room) violates common decency. Even outside of the sacrament of confession, if someone is having a private conversation with another person or speaking in confidence to another, it is common practice for others to leave the room or stand out of earshot. How much more should they do that in the situation you were in.

IMO, there were probably others there who wanted to leave as well, but didn’t have the guts to do so.

It’s a shame, because that kind of thing can tempt people to make a less-than-thorough confession.

You would think that the priests would know this.

 

[dnar]

Were people notified ahead of time that there would be only one option (face-to-face)?

No, we were not or I would have not attended.

Also, was there some reason why the normal confessionals could not be used?

There was absolutely no reason why the confession could not be used.

This happened in my old parish when I used to teach CCD. It was supposed to be an opportunity to get the kids (teens) to go to confession, The priests were stationed in various areas, and quite frankly, it was hard not to hear what was being said. There was no background music, etc.

On top of that, everyone was told to just mention one sin only.

I hope that kind of thing doesn’t happen anymore.

Personally, I’m pretty sure you have a valid complaint. There would be nothing to stop them from using a confessional or putting up a movable screen .

Yikes.

 

[J_Peterson]

I go to a penetintial service once in awhile and the priest will set up two chairs, one in front and one behind him and you can choose. I only went to confession there once and I didn’t like being out in the open. I don’t mind face to face but don’t like that other people can see me. There was one time the priest was so helpful that I wish I opted for face to face but was too embarrased to change positions mid confession*.

Also, taking pictures of children at confession I find that apalling. There’s nothing more private than confession.

ETA: * for fellow Boston folks, this was at the St. Francis Shrine at the Prudential Mall. If you get a chance, it is definitly worth a visit.

 

[babochka]

To me, this (the practice of face-to-face only, in a single large room) violates common decency. Even outside of the sacrament of confession, if someone is having a private conversation with another person or speaking in confidence to another, it is common practice for others to leave the room or stand out of earshot. How much more should they do that in the situation you were in.

I agree that this was a violation of the rights of the penitent, but confession face to face, out in the open, is the normative practice in Byzantine churches. I’ve never felt like my confessions were a violation of common decency.

 

[dixieagle]

It does seem odd to me that the Reconciliation Room, if you have one, was not one of the locations used; generally it offers the option for anonymous confession.

We have a Communal Penance Service several times a year in our parish, with about 6-8 priests hearing confessions all around the church, including the reconciliation room. At each station, there is a priest with chairs positioned so that you can either confess face to face or so that the priest cannot see you. People in line - and there are numerous long lines - stand back a respectful distance. It is quite rare for anyone not to choose face-to-face, but the choice is there, as it should be for you.

 

[1ke]

Ask your pastor for an anonymous option at the next penance service. If there is still no option after you ask, then you can proceed to your bishop with the request.

 

[dnar]

It does seem odd to me that the Reconciliation Room, if you have one, was not one of the locations used; generally it offers the option for anonymous confession.

We have a Communal Penance Service several times a year in our parish, with about 6-8 priests hearing confessions all around the church, including the reconciliation room. At each station, there is a priest with chairs positioned so that you can either confess face to face or so that the priest cannot see you. People in line - and there are numerous long lines - stand back a respectful distance. It is quite rare for anyone not to choose face-to-face, but the choice is there, as it should be for you.

We have a small chapel off to the side of the main church. This is called the ‘Reconciliation Room.’ There is a screen in there with a chair on the other side of it. We also have a confessional inside the church, that has the option of face to face and anonymous on it…we also have a cry room for small children that can be utilized as an anonymous confessional, but none of these were used for that…it saddens me…

 

[opus101]

confession face to face, out in the open, is the normative practice in Byzantine churches. I’ve never felt like my confessions were a violation of common decency.

When you are “out in the open”, are there lots of people standing right near you, waiting their turn?

Also, don’t Byzantine (at least some) have music (chants) going on in the background so the penitent cannot be overheard?

Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t the priest extend his stole over the penitent? In such a close encounter, there would be no need for the penitent to speak as loud as in the OP’s situation.

 

[Aeden]

With the face to face thing, it’ll vary and be a matter of personal taste. If I know the priest, I would probably prefer to confess with the screen, if I don’t, I tend to prefer face to face because otherwise, it feels impersonal and hollow.

As for the open room, that strikes me as very, very, fundamentally wrong. Confession is meant to be done in a safe, closed environment, just a priest and and the penitent.

Can. 964 §1. The proper place to hear sacramental confessions is a church or oratory.

§2. The conference of bishops is to establish norms regarding the confessional; it is to take care, however, that there are always confessionals with a fixed grate between the penitent and the confessor in an open place so that the faithful who wish to can use them freely.

§3. Confessions are not to be heard outside a confessional without a just cause

The situation you described seems to be a violation to me.

Also, this raises a question: can a priest confess a sin anywhere, any time, or must it be in a confessional?

 

[Gorgias]

The situation you described seems to be a violation to me.

I’m not so certain…

§2. The conference of bishops … is to take care, however, that there are always confessionals with a fixed grate between the penitent and the confessor in an open place so that the faithful who wish to can use them freely.

The fact that confessionals aren’t being used – in one particular penance service! – doesn’t mean that they’re not available for free use. The faithful can simply opt not to attend the penance service and instead go to normal hours for the sacrament of reconciliation.

§3. Confessions are not to be heard outside a confessional without a just cause

And the ‘just cause’ here would be the large-scale penance service, no?

 

[opus101]

The faithful can simply opt not to attend the penance service and instead go to normal hours for the sacrament of reconciliation.

The OP said that they were not informed ahead of time that there would not be an opportunity for behind-the-screen confessions.

 

[grammysue731]

I have used both types of environments (face to face and behind the screen). When I am in either I usually have my eyes closed, searching my mind and heart for all of my sins. I am confessing to Jesus and see him in my mind so it really doesn’t matter to me what method I use.

 

[TimothyH]

Would someone rather go to confession face-to-face or not go at all?

Yeah, I don’t like it out in the open either, but given the alternative, I’ll take what I can get with gratitude.

-Tim-