Aggravated - Face to Face confession

[Phemie]

Once after confession on a Saturday I kneeled down to pray and the person that went to confession after me was so loud that you could clearly hear him across the whole church. I had to concentrate very hard to not hear what he was saying. I have absolutely no desire to hear someone’s confession, hopefully most people feel the same way.

Off topic but I went yesterday and as I was praying afterwards, I heard a woman actually knock on the door while someone was in there I think she was the persons mother or guardian but my goodness, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

I’ve seen that once, but it was to inform Fr. that he’d left his lapel mic on.

 

[opus101]

When I was growing up (before Vat. II) it wasn’t uncommon for people to line up next to the confessional. Since the stalls for the penitents were only covered by curtains it was not uncommon to be able to hear someone’s confession while one was in line.

In my post Vat. II parish growing up, we had very heavy velvet curtains, and for some reason, we never heard anything. Maybe that was because confessions were always before all Masses, and the organist was playing or someone was leading those present in the Rosary.

But today, with no pre-Mass Rosary , and no organ music:shrug:, it is easier to hear some murmurs.

 

[Elizabeth502]

I can hear murmurs, but mostly when I’m in the confessional myself, waiting for the other pentitent to finish. Yet I cannot distinguish actual words. (I couldn’t if I were trying, which I’m not,naturally.) Also, I think most people are concentrating on their own preparation or penance, more than on worrying about others.

 

[GwenL]

The penitent is supposed to have some form of non face-to-face confession option available. Normally, (I would take that to mean: at the normal scheduled times), a confessional with a grate or screen is required to be available. In abnormal situations, such as retreats, penance services, conferences, it’s just not that hard to set up an non face-to-face option. My rector will set up a chair for himself with a kneeler behind it. You are kneeling and whispering directly into his ear. It’s private, nearly impossible for others to hear, and he never sees your face. Why is this so difficult for people to set up? Particularly when many people will avoid face-to-face confessions, and thus avoid confessing their sins.

There is no assurance of anonymity from the crowd in confession; the only assurance is that it doesn’t have to be face-to-face. Many confessionals in Europe (go to St Peter’s sometime!) have two open-air kneelers on either side of a priest in the confessional. There is a grate between the penitent and the priest. Everyone in the area knows that you are in the confessional. You never see the priest’s face and he doesn’t see yours.

 

[J_Peterson]

Ditto. I hope all people feel the same way.

could she have been wondering whether the room was empty, and was not acquainted with the light indicators? (Or maybe the light wasn’t working?)

I don’t think so, there’s a big light that says occupied, but I guess she could have been confused. I tried ignoring the whole scene but I did hear her say something along the lines of “it’s okay, he’s my…” to the people waiting in line (she wasn’t exactly whispering).

I’ve seen that once, but it was to inform Fr. that he’d left his lapel mic on.

How horrifying, but I admit I laughed when I read that.

 

[Phemie]

How horrifying, but I admit I laughed when I read that.

I honestly didn’t know that our almost-70 female sacristan could move that fast in heels!

 

[SMHW]

I find the whole situation odd (in addition to it being a valid complaint.)

My parish is usually first in line to try anything modern. But we would never dream of not providing at least some options for anonymous confessing.

We usually have a priest in each confessional (actually they are “reconciliation rooms” which give the option for anonymous or face-to-face confessions) and another priest in our “bride’s room” with the choice of face-to-face or screen. The rest of the priests are arranged in various corners and nooks of the nave of the church where face-to-face is the only choice. There is instrumental music played to cover the voices and people waiting in line are careful to maintain a respectful distance out of earshot.

 

[babochka]

There is no assurance of anonymity from the crowd in confession; the only assurance is that it doesn’t have to be face-to-face. Many confessionals in Europe (go to St Peter’s sometime!) have two open-air kneelers on either side of a priest in the confessional. There is a grate between the penitent and the priest. Everyone in the area knows that you are in the confessional. You never see the priest’s face and he doesn’t see yours.

I thought that was the case in St. Peter’s, but it has been so long since I’ve been there that I couldn’t remember with certainty and I didn’t want to say anything if I wasn’t sure.

I’m obviously comfortable with face-to-face and prefer it, but I’m still with the OP here. Maybe his rights weren’t violated, but if the parish had more than one priest hearing confessions (as is common at penance services), it would seem reasonable to offer at least an opportunity for anonymous confession.

 

[InThePew]

That opportunity should be anonymous and scheduled, but I have heard of some parishes which require even that to be by appointment (i.e., also non-anonymous), with no regularly scheduled time. That is, by the way, absolutely the perfect way to discourage and devalue confession: make it as rare, as difficult, as inconvenient, and as uncomfortable as possible.

I came back to going to confession through the spiritual simplicity of a darkened confessional booth although by opportunity rather than design. Most churches I knew didn’t have (or didn’t use) “proper” confessionals and what they did have favoured face-to-face with almost a token allowance for anonymous. The problem for me was that I felt incredibly awkward and uncomfortable being face-to-face with a priest - especially if I knew them (something I tried to avoid). Being able to confess, kneeling, in a darkened booth was quite simply fantastic - an absolute Godsend (literally, I suppose). These days, I’ve forced myself to become comfortable with face-to-face and recently even made an appointment - the website boasted that the sacrament was “always” available by appointment so I thought I’d put them to the test and asked if someone would be available in the next 15 minutes!

I’m sure that there are probably others out there who are like I was and who, like the OP, prefer not to go face-to-face. When it is available, amongst other options, people need to be made aware that’s it there. Parishes also need to ensure that this option is not just available but is also not just a token gesture.